theres probably some way you could get into college. I didnt have a job at the time I applied for a school, my parents made a combined 25,000 a year. So i got a fuck load of financial aid.. However I'm going to have a fuck load of debt, but thats why I'm in school so I can pay that debt off after a year or 2. just talk to some financial aid people at a college, theres some pretty cheap community colleges that you could easily attend and work, and not be to bad in the hole. I work at fucking wal-mart and attend a university, and im doing alright on money.
That's really deep man. I feel the same things sometimes but I have never went that deep into it. I really was intrigued with what you said about the TV and how we all just look for ways to waste time. This thread really made me think... +rep . I hope things get better
Amen dude. Honestly if it weren't for this forum many of us wouldn't have an appropriate place to vent our anger at the hypocrisy that is the outside world.
we see eye to eye on some things. other things not so much, i am an introvert who enjoys to watch life unfold. i prefer to ride the air currents of life as do the birds soaring high above my head. im not trying to be the best i can be right now, to be honest im in a slump. im learning to live with my ego and hopefully one day exist in the now all of the time. i wish we as humans could cooexist peacefully but, with the ego born unto us through our ancestors, aboloshing it becomes hard. at this point in my life im just trying to learn, about the "real world", about my body and how it functions, learning to exist without my ego and learning to learn. im almost going back to a blank slate of mind as a child would be. i still remember and function in society with its unwritten and written laws. in my heart i feel we have lost our way but, this is another story all together. when your ego grabs a hold of you, just remember "this too shall pass". every moment is a new moment. life doesnt unfold in seconds or years but, breaths...
god, i can totally relate to so many different things you've written here. first of all, how you said it's disheartening to see the "blue flicker of the TV" coming from every house you pass by. this is something i've noticed/thought about many times. it's really quite sad, seeing as how television is a very powerful psychological weapon and really does influence the way one perceives the world. i also like how you said that people seem to be "chasing" something, and you're not. i feel the exact same way. there's this pervading perception of reality, the most "socially acceptable" way to go about your life, which is to go to a good college, get good grades, get a good job, go to work, so you can make good money (and maybe have a chance at paying back all your student debt), and have a nice house and a nice car and a nice bank account. that is not life, to me. and i won't live my life that way. i'm not sure what i'm going to do, but i know that i won't be trapped in a meaningless job that i hate for the rest of my life- i need to live a fulfilling life, i want to learn, and explore, and meet people, and not have to worry about the "norms" of society anymore. it's normal to be thinking about things, analyzing things. it's what humans do! even though things you see around you may be disheartening, realize the potential of your mind and the freedom that accompanies it! i'm sure people are quick to label your thought process- "introvert" "depression" "anxiety" etc etc.. As far as I'm concerned, that's just an oversimplification of normal human thought processes and behavior, and also an easy way to claim someone needs to be "medicated." i don't think you need medication, i think you're opening your eyes and learning more about the world you were placed in. keep learning, keep thinking, use your intuition and live your life the way You want to!
Took the words out of my mouth. Nothing more, nothing less. Sometimes i feel the same way. But sometimes i feel the total opposite in life. There are day where i dont even want to open my eyes because i know its going to be the same thing again and again and again. And then there are the days were its awesome to be alive and i cant wait to get shit done. I dont think there is a way to stop this, and i dont think there is a reason to stop this. We are, like you said, just warm meat. But we are also more than that. I dont even know who you are, nor do you know me (i hope lol) but this is just the way life is. I think that we just think to hard about the things we dont want to think about. There is nothing to do about it. Just remember, there is no telling what could happen next in life. What if you did cry and she told everyone about that and everyone thought you were just strange. (It happens all the time even though people try to think they are better it happens to us all) Or she could have felt the same way and you could have had a great relationship. We are only human bro. Just live life and dont pent up these feelings. Let them be free mang.
i feel ya man, being one of two black guys in my school and a decently big one (i weight train) I feel like people dont even give me a chance and just judge/label me and go on about their existence. All my close friends, the ones who actually talk to and try to understand me are very loyal. I believe i am a very dedicated and loyal friend as well, but you have to earn that ya know? And when these kids don't even give me a chance it just hurts. Most of the time its only small talk i want but kids wont even keep up a conversation as if they have more important things to do. I dont feel i should have to make so much effort trying to be friendly with people and walk on eggshells because there intimidated by me. Im very open and honest and i wish people could be the same with me... if ya just speak your mind and stop beating around the goddamn bush then we can get things worked out and have a mutual understanding I think I started feeling a lot like this after taking MDMA on different occasions. When i experienced what it was like to be completely open, honest, understanding and compassionate towards everyone. I realized that the way we humans interact is because we are so insecure.... I sometimes feel like my thoughts are more advanced. or that i think of more important things then other people too... dont know what to think about that
I just want to point out to everyone that this guy hit the nail on the head because he didn't sugar coat a damn thing. Props.
i can relate to this post too.mI like to refer to it as "the or my Head Trip" Acts of kindness make make feel better. Like the other day at pennstation, a man in a wheelchair was going backwards up a hill. hundreds of people passed. i stopped, asked him if he needed help. i was wearing headphones listening to music. as he was answering, i proceeded to help him by turning him around and pushing him up the hill. i dont think he looked back as i turned back around when i had made it to the top of the hill. i then proceeded to walk to a shoe repair shop and treat myself to a good shoe fixin'! the rubber on the bottom of the right shoe was half unglued. $8 and a smile! =]
I didnt read any of the previous post BUT I know what you Mean OP, Like should I save this or smoke it, this shit will drive you crazy, so what I do is just smoke it when I feel (same with cigs) and not even worry about having it later, makes you feel more alive
Excellent man, you have some really deep thoughts like i do. Maybe you should think about checking out college. There are some pretty cool classes like philosphy and ethics that i think you would really dig! Your thoughts were almost like poetry to me?
I understand everything you said, except the bit about going to school to become trapped in a meaningless job that you hate. It seems to me like with the right plan, you can end up where you want to be and still benefit from what you mentioned as 'socially acceptable.' Me, for example, I'm going to community college to study computer networking. My goal is to one day be a network administrator. I enjoy what I study, immensely. To me, it would be fulfilling because I would be making mad bank working at a high school or somewhere, maintaining the computer systems that help kids learn. The thing is, there's so many different routes you can take if you wanted something different. Someone else might find something like Archeology to be fulfilling and meaningful.
I also agree that the TV analogy was great, there was actually a short fictional story based in the future i read about a man who would walk at night and notice the blue flicker of the tv coming out between the shades of peoples houses and pretty much got sent to a psych ward because the police saw him just walking and thought it was suspicious activity because he wasnt inside watching tv and when the man said he didnt watch tv and simply enjoyed walking at night they aressted him and labeled him as insane. Thats a really sketchy summary but its SO TRUE! Ill come home to my house and i know my mom and step dad are sitting in front of the TV. Every night! It really is terriable, just think about all the commercials you see from watching 2 hours worth of tv. Its repulsive.
There is also the phase i can agree with too that i saw on here somewhere: "Gotta work hard to play hard" which also ties to the 8 hours of work 8 hours of sleep 8 hours of play somehow its a pandemic. Google can also help you out with what you would like to learn. Library(plural im not sure of) are a great resource too. Taxes take care of that. Hands on experience comes with asking around the workplace for people to show you how things are done. Books, i use, to show me how things work.