Okay so there is this girl that I've known for a while. She has always had a thing for me. She constantly flirts with me. We are a lot alike. We get along really well. She is pretty much everything I want in a girl. The problem is that she is kinda chubby and I just am not physically attracted to her. She is very pretty but has a lot of extra baggage. I'm not really sure what to do. I want to give her a chance but I just don't have any attraction to her physically. I love her personality and the fact that she is so much like me but I don't know how to make this work. Can anyone give any advice or anything? I know all that was kinda vague but I'm not really sure how to explain it.
I know I Should give you the "you're a terrible person for saying that" speech but I kinda agree lol.
It's good that you love her personality and all but honestly I don't think that's going to be enough in the long run. I don't know how old you are, if you're sexually active and all but I'm going to assume it's the case. You probably know sex is important to a healthy relationship. If you dont love her body, you aren't gonna be sexually compatible and if you're not sexually compatible it ain't gonna work out. Unless you really somehow can look over her appearance. Alot of people think they can but its usually unlikely to last.
Yeah that's what I've been thinking. I mean, if she would just lose like lose some weight then she would probably be kinda hot. I hate to sound shallow but I can't be blamed for not wanting to be with someone I wouldn't want to see naked.
I get why you feel like that, but would you rather go out with someone who you didn't get on with but was a smoking hotty? I'd rather screw the hot chick, but the one you get on with is gonna be the one you can have a good relationship with. Give the relationship a shot, and see how things work out. Who knows - maybe she'll be happy to lose some weight if you ask her to (in a sensitive way not "yo bitch, yo ass too fat - that shit's wack") Worst case outcome - you guys break up, and have a few weeks of awkward, then are friends again. Best case - you learn to love her for who she is, and that love extends to her body (which can totally happen - my gf isn't thin either, and when we started going out I really liked who she was, but her body was very average - now I find that her body turns me on just because of the associations it has with who she is, and good times we've had together.)
I would say give it a chance man. You have no idea how she is going to be in the bedroom.... it might change your whole prospective. In a whole other direction, you could get with her, and work out a lot, then she would be obligated to join (or you can convince her of this... Not that hard i would think) and bam, you will both be better phycially. << This will all probably take a little time though obviously...
Yeah. The thing is there's no way to sugar coat asking someone to lose a little bit of weight. Even when it's meant/said in a nice way most girls get really offended by that /: . Then again she might be a beast in the bedroom. You never know. It's up to you to decide if her personality is so great that you're willing to give it a chance.
If her weight is the biggest problem. Take her to the gym. Like you could turn it into once a week thing. Like just sit her down or hell, catch her when y'all chillin and just kinda toss it out like, "Say, I'm bout to start goin to the gym, I think you should come with me." Try to make it more of sincere sounding since you don't want her to know her weight gives you an issue. Annd in no time you'd would have rebuilt her all the while fortifying a better relationship