What should I do?

Discussion in 'General' started by drummer81, Sep 15, 2003.

  1. I don't know what to do, me and hempress just got into a really big argument and she told me she hates me, but the thing is I didn't do anything wrong. It started out that I came home from band practice and I was moving some more stuff in, she told me she was hungry and I said ok hun what would you like, and she said some soup and a grilled cheese sandwhich and I said ok do we have any cheese and she said we should but shes not sure, so I said ok I'll go look. I went and looked and we didn't have any so I went back and told her and she was alittle disappointed and she said ok, so I asked her if she wanted anything else or if she wanted me to go to the store and get something for her, and she said no, then I said are you sure hun because I'll get you something if you want me to,and she said no its ok, so then I asked her if there was anything else she wanted to eat if there is anything else here, and she said she really wanted some soup but she didn't say what kind because I didn't want to make anything she didn't likeso I was just checking my e-mail quick and waiting for her to tell me what kind she wanted, and she just started flipping out saying that I just got on the computer and ignored her when she was hungry, and I tried to tell her that I wasn't ignoring her I was still listening and waiting for her to tell me what kind of soup she wanted and she didn't believe me she kept saying that I just sat there and ignored her when I know darn well I didn't. Then she started to say that I don't care about her and that I'm a jerk and an asshole, and I got upset and said why are you saying that I told you I wasn't ignoring you I can check my e-mail and still listen to you at the same time hun. then she was saying that she didn't wanna hear it and she didn't believe me and I said some thing I honestly didn't mean, because I tend to say thing I REALLY don't mean when I'm upset then I tried to appologise and she started saying "you know what you can tell me your sorry all you want but I'm not gonna forgive you, I HATE you and I don't want you damn baby I'm gonna get an abortion, and I said wait thats not fair to the baby It didn't do anything wrong, and she said I'm doing it because I hate you and I don't wanna have anything to do with you anymore. I then I said what didn't I do wrong I was just trying to be there for you and now you don't seem to care and appreciate me for that, then she says I never listen to her but thats certainly not true at all I alway listen to her and I'm always there for her no matter what, so I asked her why she hates me and she said I just do, and I ask her why again because that not a fair reason when I didn't do anything wrong I was just there for her and loving her with all my heart and she said I don't have a reason and I don't need a reason, and I said of course you do you can't just hate someone for no reason what so ever. and she didn't have an answer to that she just stormed away and kept telling me "F**K YOU" I don't under stand. :( what should I do? because I think deep down she does'nt mean it but I don't know what to do I love her with all my heart and I don't think she's being fair to me. and anyone help me?
  2. just give her a couple hours to be by herself and cool off...
  3. I am doing that now and I hope it works because she means alot to me, Thank you for your reply, its well appreciated.
  4. I'm lurking around but had to respond to this, drummer.

    She's pregnant. I've never been pregnant but I know that women get testy when they are. It has to be worse than PMS and PMS will make me hate my best friend. LOL! Hopefully, she'll get over it...just don't trivialize it. Women hate that shit.

    Also, a little advice....when you are angry, do everything in your power to avoid saying things you don't mean. Those words will always stay in her head. I was involved with someone who would say horrible things to me and be completely out of character while saying them, and even though I knew that and even though he always apologized and said that he could never mean such things, those words were always there. I couldn't stay with him. All of the sorry's in the world couldn't take it all away and I couldn't forget. I know that it's hard to stay in control when anger steps in but sometimes words hurt more than you could imagine.

    Good luck. I think that you and Hempress will be just fine. :)
  5. I don't even know why I'm bothering to write in here...because I'm a lying sack of shit, according to some people.

    You did not say you would go and buy me some soup. If you had, I would have told you I wanted Cream of Mushroom. You offered to take me to go get something, but I told you I was too tired to go anywhere...you could have offered to go get it without me, but you never did. You never asked me what I wanted..you just told me that we didn't have any cheese, talked to my cat, and got back on the computer. I honestly thought you were ignoring me, and I didn't want to bother you with the little matter of feeding the growing baby. I'm soooo sorry, maybe I should have.

    And someone also forgot his promise....that no matter who was right or wrong you would shut your mouth and walk away because I don't need anymore stress right now, whether I deserve it or not. I am carrying your child. It would be nice if you would remember that and quit acting like things are still the same.

    So you say I don't do anything to help you...I AM ALWAYS FUCKING TIRED!! I CAN'T EVEN LIFT A TINY TV RIGHT NOW, I AM WEAK. Every pregnancy is different...mine is sapping all the life and will out of me.

    Everyone told you when we found out I was pregnant that I was going to be bitchy and cranky for no reason every once in a while...not only am I pregnant with YOUR FUCKING BABY, but I also had to quit smoking cigarettes and weed, the only comforts I used to have. I have nothing to comfort me now. Talking to you is not the same. I am going to be this way until I get over the tobacco addiction, which who knows how long that will be.

    So get off my back! I'm trying as hard as I can, but you keep on forgetting it. Don't try and say you didn't do anything...I know you didn't. I was just cranky and I'm sorry for yelling at you, but you didn't have to yell back and call me a bitch and a lying sack of shit. Because it certainly didn't help things.

    Right now I do hate you. I'm sick of you acting like I have no right to be angry and bitchy every once in a while; sick of you acting like this is so easy for me. Too bad men can't get pregnant, because you obviously think you'd do a better job than I am.

    And what right do you have to lock me in my own room? Or unplug the phone so I can't call my friends? You forgot to mention that, didn't you? Everytime we get into fights like this, I tell you the same goddammed thing over and over again. You cannot fight with me. You have to just walk away and leave me alone to cool down, because if you don't it only makes things worse. But you never seem to get it through your thick head. You say you're not stupid, but maybe I'd be more willing to believe it if you would at least learn that. No, you just follow me around expecting me to calm down and listen to you, or you hold the door shut and block me so I can't even get out of my bedroom. Well, I'm SICK of it! You can't just push me around and expect me to want to listen to you.

    So the next time I'm cranky with you, or I say something in a sharp tone of voice, just remember:


    I'm not doing it to hurt you, or make you want to hit me, or any other reason you may think I have. I am just pregnant. I am going to be this way for another couple of months, and you just have to get used to it. So next time, just shut your mouth and leave me alone. I am sick all the time, and apparently you seem to want to forget it. I am not the same as I was a month ago.

    I'm sorry everyone for not saying this in PM's, but I don't think he knows how to check them, and I'm not talking to him right now, so I don't feel like showing him how.
  6. awww :( ..i hope everything gets better between you two

  7. Hey sweetness.. You are going to be the moodiest thing on earth for a long time.. Even after the baby is born you will still be moody as hell.. I have been in Drummers shoes three times.. I know how it is... He needs to understand that you are alone on the body changing...

    Drummer.. Don't take everything she says over board.. She has mixed feelings and alot of changes going on that will change her mood on a second to second basis.. She will need alot of tender love and care, wether she wants it or not..

    JUST BE PATIENT!!!!!!!! And love one another..
  8. We made up and everything is better now. we are both happy again and I am definately going to try harder in being patient with her mood swings, and of course I will be there for her and give her all the tender loving care she needs.
    Thank all of you for your support, it's well appreciated. and we will definately keep all of you in the city updated on our wonderful pregnancy. :D
  9. This is The Official Hempress and Drummer Pregnancy Up's and Down's thread...I got moody reading it. :D
  10. Enjoy the moodyness... Make fun and laughter out of bad pregnant moods...

    Drummer.......... One way to react to her bad moods is to get on one knee and ask if you may serve her in any way... Usually brings a smile to a pregnant mood!
  11. i gotta say bud heads correct in his last statement :)

  12. I'm on my knee for you darlin.. How may I serve the precious love of my life???
  13. as a friend of the family :)D) i'd just like to say and true scotts grit, "CALM DOON!" its only some fucking soup for fucks sake.

    i hope the pair of yas are looking back on this and laughing already. if not, then soon you'll see this in only the humerous context it truely is set in. its dark humour admitidly... but humour none the less.

    and everyone has gotta love pregnancy humour. the best humour always comes from the greatest extremes and events of our lives. and pregnancy is right up there with war. theres some funny shit going on. most of it to the woman... poor lady. i'm glad i dont have a womb. ... anyways,.... then theres the whole giving up ciggies thing... well lemme say ... what hempress done so far aint nuthin. keep sharp objects outta reach, just slightly further outta reach than the ciggies. that way if the worst comes to it and she starts going for the sharp things, she'll come across the cigs first and calm down (whilst killin yer baby!).

    anyways... a back rub, a joint, and a cup of coco for hempress and all will be well...


    -(insert critter's orange waving thumb smilie here. ;))-
  14. yes pregnancy. i've been through it myself twice. and sometimes it's was a battle. not just tired, everything,hungry, happy yet pissed off all at once, it's an emotional rollercoaster. but it will get better. i loved bein preg. but it is weird really to know that there is something growin inside of u. it's a miracle yet upsettling at times. but you'll get through it. and everything will be just fine;)

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