What kind of cannabis should i go for?

Hello guise

I've been treating depression/add/anxiety/social phobia and mood disorder
for the last 6 or 7 years

I've been going from doctor to doctor through the years, i used to go to the doctors that my health insurance provided, but those treat you like a chunk of meat and dont waste even 10 minutes in a session

Now for the last two years or maybe one and a half, not really sure, i've been going to a private doctor, im pretty much going there every 10 or 15 days, first after a couple sessions i was prescribed Fluoxetine (i dont know the commercial name for it on the USA, i think its prozac)at first it seemed to help me be more sociable, but then everything got worse again the depression and everything hit me hard as it possible could, so after a little more research we ended up on the following daily pills

2x Lexapro
2x Ritalin
2mg Rivotril

The lexapro kinda helps me feel a little better with myself, but i still felt extremely undermotivated , thats where the ritalin comes in, but the problem is that ritalin makes me extremely anxious, so i have to take the rivotril but then it makes me sleepy, basically im taking lots of meds that have horrible side effects and make me feel emotionally numb just so i can cope with everyday life

Anyways, i was just going with the flow hoping that one day i would be cured, but recently ( as in the last 3 months) i gave up on everything, i simply cannot find joy in life and i no longer feel any will to live, and all of this hurts so fucking much, and this is bringing so much pain and frustration for my parents which only makes me feel even worse

For the last 4 or 5 years, i have been smoking mj, and with mj i feel happy, i enjoy life and friendship and every bad feeling fades aways


MJ is illegal in my country , but i dont really care, all i want is to be out of this hole of emotional numbness

Im from Brazil and weed here is shitty as it gets, like, you have to got really good connections to get what you guys would call 'reggies',so i decided to go ahead and grow my own

Basically from what i posted what should i go for? Indica or Sativa?

Thanks in advance , sorry for my poor english