What it takes to live a normal life

Discussion in 'General' started by HerbIsGood, May 25, 2009.

  1. Whatsup GC, I've been wondering A LOT lately why I've been trying so hard to accomplish what I'm trying to accomplish. Basically my story goes like this

    I have some health issues I'm dealing with (I'm a healthy person overall now..) and they aren't like serious health issues at all, it's really minor things like some bad skin flaws and eczema, and etc. The reason I want to deal with these problems is because of my girlfriend and basically ever since November or so of last year I've been trying lots of different things to heal myself naturally because for one: I hate medication and for 2:I think I have candida which can't really be treated medically. So in order to treat these problems I have been doing lots of CRAZY weird stuff to fix myself (like..I got so desperate at a point that I actually did enemas...I feel like I'm losing it). The most important thing I've been doing is maintaining an extremely strict diet. This diet (anti-candida) is basically, meat, fish, and vegetables. Literally. No grains, no bread (OMG this is the worst one..you think it'd be so easy to go without bread..but believe me, by day 2 you fucking crave a grilled cheese or something and you can't eat any sandiwches..it fucking blows), no gluten or anything, no yeast, no dairy, and maybe the worst one and most important, ABSOLUTELY NO SUGAR.:eek::(. I can't even eat fruit. At all.

    This impacts me a lot. Like some of you might just say 'well its just food man just stick it out' but its so hard and on top of that it takes so long (I just had to start over due to pigging out on some sweets over the past few weeks and finding out fruit is no good to eat and my candida overgrowth came back..so now I have another 6 months to go..all those months lost). Anyway, the reason this is so bad is because back when I was happy all the time and didn't have to worry as much (times I'd like to get back to...when I'd do nothing but play video games and eat good ass food, go out to family outings and eat out, the good life) food was like the main thing man. I ate all the time it was just the thing that made me happy. Now that I've been restricted from it I feel so fucking alone. How many god damn people have fucking candida overgrowth? It seems like everybody should but nobody ever does anything to fix it, so why should I? Is my girlfriend really worth it?

    Also, the reason I'm so dedicated is because I'm not really happy with myself as far as my flaws (that can be fixed..I don't mind my natural flaws but ones that can be gotten rid of I have a problem with) and I could never continue a relationship if everyday I felt worthless like that. This is the only way I can feel somewhat good about myself.

    So anyway, I wonder what it takes to live that normal life again. I wonder if I'll ever be able to go back to my once wonderful (even if my face was covered in acne or if I had bloody, pussy eczema, getting sick a lot..etc.), happy carefree life. Yeah, I didn't get laid in that life, but I also didn't have to always worry about the bullshit I do worry about that (while it did bother me before I started getting involved with this chick) I never really let get to me before.

    I feel like I'm not living the life I want and I may not get to live the life I want ever or up until the point where I can once again eat how I wanted. My life like revolves around food (from hobbies like cooking/baking, to eating, to watching the food channel lol..etc.). Like, I can't do anything I used to do because I always get nostalgic feelings of the food I used to eat while doing it. Nothing gives me more joy than chomping down on a twinkie or a piece of sweet delicious cake while watching a movie or playing halo online whipping ass at 3 in the morning.

    Another thing I can't do cause of my lifestyle changes, stay up late. I have to be in bed by 10-11 pm and wake up early. It fucking blows.

    A list of other things I cant do that I used/could have done:
    I'm technically not supposed to smoke weed (but fuck that. no candida is stopping me from gettin high)
    I can't drink (I don't like alcohol anyway I never get drunk but just throwing that out there)
    I have to exercise (I hate it, but its mandatory pretty much)


    Theres a load of other things but the main ones come down to not being able to stay up late and not being able to eat how I used to. I can't even have dinner with my family cause I can't eat what they eat.

    Ugh..basically GC, I don't know what I want to do. I would love to go back to my normal life and say fuck candida, and let it overtake my body and let my face run rampant with acne once again, let my arms get covered in eczema and let my sicknesses come back while living carelessly, but I also love my girlfriend and I could never do something like that to myself while I'm dating her it would tear me apart...I just feel fucking torn right now.

    The only thing that really comforts me is the thought that ONE DAY eventually when I'm a bit older maybe I'll be able to once again go back to my old style life. Maybe.:(
     
  2. And another thing that sucks...

    Around the beginning of these changes I got into cooking/baking.

    But now I can't bake any marijuana goodies.....=(
     
  3. I didn't read it all, but no girl is worth that. Especially if it is nothing more than attraction, if she has a great personality on the other hand... i wouldn't jump boat too quickly.
     
  4. Well no man, thats the thing. I love her for everything, she's beautiful, she has an AMAZING personality and on top of that shes like...fucking nuts about me. If I left her for something as shallow as food (which I don't think I could do..but sometimes I fantasize of eating those foods once again) I would feel so horrible..

    **EDIT**

    Well, I guess one thing that comforts me is the thought that, if she ever broke up with me (which we were having some problems recently and I thought it was near the end because of how she seemed..) I would be free once again to do what I want. But thats IF she broke up with me that would be how I kept myself happy from the shock of losing her.
     
  5. Then do you really want to throw away your girlfriend/life/everything you've accomplished just to satisfy a couple of taste buds?
     
  6. #6 HerbIsGood, May 25, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: May 25, 2009
    Well thats what I've been trying to portray..Ijdk how to write it out.

    Like, its not JUST food, its my entire lifestyle. Changing my diet means changing my lifestyle which means I just cant live the way I used to, its not possible at all. I have the same views but I can't do things that I used to do.

    Idk man. Its 2 extremely important things to me and while I am happy with how things are I feel like if I didn't have to conform to this shitty diet and way of life I would be so much more liberated. But also in choosing that life I lose my girlfriend who I love very much..and it might take away from the happiness that I once had while living that life without the hurt of losing someone to get it.

    **EDIT**

    And also, the reason I'm so distressed now is because I can't eat fruit anymore. Staying away from sweets and stuff was all good but when fruit were cut out..now my entire palate sucks..I used to eat a bag of grapes a day thinking I was living the healthy life, pineapples, papayas and all kinds of delicious fruit which kept me satisfied with my diet but now that htose have worsened my condition I have to eat raw cauliflower and broccoli...I have to eat spinach and kale and nasty leafy greens. The only good thing I eat now is fish and chicken.

    And when I get high..you know how disgusting cauliflower is? I can't eat tacos or burritos or fucking giant slices of delicious lasagna or pizza. Sigh. Its only for a few more months I guess. Maybe I should aim to stick it out for the rest of 2009 and on 2010 I can look forward to going back the way things used to be. Its only until this candida is gone.
     
  7. how do you know you have candida? were you ever officially diagnosed?
     
  8. "Officially diagnosed"?? lol Give me a break. MD's are the most educated idiots when it comes to this, they are good in ruining people's lives with drugs and anti biotics, but they aren't at home when it comes to fixing it. These so called 'doctors' care about 3 things:
    1. their license 2. their career and 3. their wallet.
     
  9. You said..

    "I THINK I have Candida"

    And now your going to the extreme to avoid things..

    I'm declaring you a Hyopchondriac.

    I'm an E-Doctor. PM me for my E-MD
     
  10. Let me add my share:
    - Sinus infection June 2010. Doc put me on Cipro, naive as I was I took it and one month later the problems started (ironically Cipro didn't cure my sinus infection but saline under pressure)
    - Ever since my health went downhill till an extend where I am in this much chest pain, I am forced to be on morphine day and night. I can't eat anything, because that makes it worse. This fungus even feeds on veggies. I lost most of my clients (I am a network engineer) and soon I probably will loose the health insurance and since I am green card holder, end up homeless. Thank you doctor, great job!
    - Doctors are complete ass*** when it comes to this, ignorant, uncaring. One of these guys believe it or not wanted me to put me on anti biotics. I told him 'are you out of your mind"??
    - Birth control pills can cause candida as well, I am in contact with people online (a relative small group of 12) and several woman's life has been destroyed by birth control pills this way. Of course docs won't admit any of this.
     

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