What is wrong with me?

miss_dazexo · Nov 13, 2013

Seriously. I don't know if maybe I'm just attracted to assholes or if I attract the wrong guys or both. Well I know I tend to be attracted to the wrong guys, many of which turn out to be assholes. Here's some background information: I'm twenty two, almost graduated from college, planning to pursue a Master's Degree and open my own business, overall I'd say I'm very ambitious. I used to party a lot, I really don't anymore because I have other responsibilities and I'm just really focused on getting ahead. I'm pretty much the best of both worlds in terms of being a tomboy and a girly girl. I love to work out, read books, I like all kinds of music from hip hop to heavy metal, I can hold a conversation, and I'd say I'm a really chill person. At the same time I cook, clean, and do all that stereotypical housewife shit. I'm half Latina, I speak fluent Spanish, I have hazel eyes and long, black hair. I don't have to wear a ton of make up or extensions like other girls or tan every single day in order to be attractive. I always get told that I'm beautiful and maybe my problem is that I don't believe it. I don't let it get to my head but I have high standards for myself in all different aspects. My dream guy now would be good with kids, financially stable, chill as hell, kind of a weirdo like me, intellectual, mature, and adventurous.

Here's the thing, I think I'm a good catch but I always end up with the wrong guys. The ones who don't treat me like I deserve to be treated and who don't know what they have. Guys who don't have any motivation to go anywhere in life yet I'm so freaking naÃ¯ve and think I can change them because I'm different than other girls. I constantly get hit on and approached but it's almost always by creepy guys or assholes. I don't know if it's because I'm intimidating and only these type of guys are the ones who have the confidence to approach me or what. I'm pretty shy so I don't know if that comes off as unapproachable. I always see good looking guys checking me out but they're the ones who are too shy to say something, they just stare.

I guess this is more of a rant, I'm just trying to find out why I can't seem to find the type of guys I want. I pretty much give up.

Drakkor · Nov 13, 2013

miss_dazexo said:

Seriously. I don't know if maybe I'm just attracted to assholes or if I attract the wrong guys or both. Well I know I tend to be attracted to the wrong guys, many of which turn out to be assholes. Here's some background information: I'm twenty two, almost graduated from college, planning to pursue a Master's Degree and open my own business, overall I'd say I'm very ambitious. I used to party a lot, I really don't anymore because I have other responsibilities and I'm just really focused on getting ahead. I'm pretty much the best of both worlds in terms of being a tomboy and a girly girl. I love to work out, read books, I like all kinds of music from hip hop to heavy metal, I can hold a conversation, and I'd say I'm a really chill person. At the same time I cook, clean, and do all that stereotypical housewife shit. I'm half Latina, I speak fluent Spanish, I have hazel eyes and long, black hair. I don't have to wear a ton of make up or extensions like other girls or tan every single day in order to be attractive. I always get told that I'm beautiful and maybe my problem is that I don't believe it. I don't let it get to my head but I have high standards for myself in all different aspects. My dream guy now would be good with kids, financially stable, chill as hell, kind of a weirdo like me, intellectual, mature, and adventurous.

Here's the thing, I think I'm a good catch but I always end up with the wrong guys. The ones who don't treat me like I deserve to be treated and who don't know what they have. Guys who don't have any motivation to go anywhere in life yet I'm so freaking naÃ¯ve and think I can change them because I'm different than other girls. I constantly get hit on and approached but it's almost always by creepy guys or assholes. I don't know if it's because I'm intimidating and only these type of guys are the ones who have the confidence to approach me or what. I'm pretty shy so I don't know if that comes off as unapproachable. I always see good looking guys checking me out but they're the ones who are too shy to say something, they just stare.

I guess this is more of a rant, I'm just trying to find out why I can't seem to find the type of guys I want. I pretty much give up.
Click to expand...

Go home with the guy who's been in love with you and is stuck in your friends zone.
Most women use their eyes not their minds.
Hope ya find a hard one. Lol.

-Over Grown Society-

miss_dazexo · Nov 13, 2013

There is one guy like that and we tried dating and I'm just not in love with him. I can't see myself with him.

Nutrition Facts · Nov 13, 2013

Amethyst_Ogs said:

Most women use their eyes not their minds.
Click to expand...

miss_dazexo said:

I can't see myself with him.
Click to expand...

gentlemanshigh · Nov 13, 2013

These "assholes" play you because they know and understand the game and sometimes an erroneous understandind of hot girl psychology. No one is ever stupid for not understanding something that they havent tried to learn or knew existed. You will however understand in the future and it is something too difficult to truly comprehend through text let alone explaining that shit to a girl in real life. They get it for a day but go back to the stupid shit and cry a week later. I know im generalizing. The one practical piece of advice is to go after those shy dudes yourself, you start the convo. Also find people that are in the same field as you or even class so you know that they are on your level.Get it out of your head that you arent fucking awesome, because you seem to be. Good job having your shit together , be PROUD of it.Most importantly, you have to know what you want; a stable relationship? Fun time with no strings?You seem like a smart girl but i wont say that you deserve better. We in life dont deserve anything more than simple mutual respect, everything else you have to want and get yourself.Maybe someone else can explain the game for i shant be the spiller of its abundant secrets.(or maybe tomorrow, tonight i zzz)Know that evrrything will work out all right. And you dont need good luck because the universe has got your back if you let her.Communicating with my thumbs -- Grasscity android app

MrPapageorgio · Nov 13, 2013

The problem is that you're simply too young to be worrying about some dumb ass relationship. You said you're ambitious and want to open a business yet here you are on a weed forum spewing guy problems. Imo anyone under 30 is too young for a real relationship. Guys and girls alike. You need to be out banging random guys right now to help you better understand men and what they want. Oh and for your own good, don't get pregnant.

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ZombieKush · Nov 13, 2013

miss_dazexo said:

Seriously. I don't know if maybe I'm just attracted to assholes or if I attract the wrong guys or both. Well I know I tend to be attracted to the wrong guys, many of which turn out to be assholes. Here's some background information: I'm twenty two, almost graduated from college, planning to pursue a Master's Degree and open my own business, overall I'd say I'm very ambitious. I used to party a lot, I really don't anymore because I have other responsibilities and I'm just really focused on getting ahead. I'm pretty much the best of both worlds in terms of being a tomboy and a girly girl. I love to work out, read books, I like all kinds of music from hip hop to heavy metal, I can hold a conversation, and I'd say I'm a really chill person. At the same time I cook, clean, and do all that stereotypical housewife shit. I'm half Latina, I speak fluent Spanish, I have hazel eyes and long, black hair. I don't have to wear a ton of make up or extensions like other girls or tan every single day in order to be attractive. I always get told that I'm beautiful and maybe my problem is that I don't believe it. I don't let it get to my head but I have high standards for myself in all different aspects. My dream guy now would be good with kids, financially stable, chill as hell, kind of a weirdo like me, intellectual, mature, and adventurous.

Here's the thing, I think I'm a good catch but I always end up with the wrong guys. The ones who don't treat me like I deserve to be treated and who don't know what they have. Guys who don't have any motivation to go anywhere in life yet I'm so freaking naÃ¯ve and think I can change them because I'm different than other girls. I constantly get hit on and approached but it's almost always by creepy guys or assholes. I don't know if it's because I'm intimidating and only these type of guys are the ones who have the confidence to approach me or what. I'm pretty shy so I don't know if that comes off as unapproachable. I always see good looking guys checking me out but they're the ones who are too shy to say something, they just stare.

I guess this is more of a rant, I'm just trying to find out why I can't seem to find the type of guys I want. I pretty much give up.
Click to expand...

check the friend zone where you left all the good guys, sincerely an asshole-former good guy

diazed001 · Nov 13, 2013

Amethyst_Ogs said:

Go home with the guy who's been in love with you and is stuck in your friends zone.
Most women use their eyes not their minds.
Hope ya find a hard one. Lol.

-Over Grown Society-
Click to expand...

This!

Honestly you're right you only get hit on by creeps and ass holes. You have to remember the guys who you want play it cool or do not have the confidence to approach you. Take a look at your circle of friends, are there any guys who you find intellectually attractive? That's a start. Next look at those with common interests. Now look at those who you are physically attracted to. See how different the individuals are? Well there is a reason. 9/10 you are not going to find your Prince Charming simply because you do not know them well enough. Like someone said above look at your friendZoned guys. Maybe there is more to them than you know. Get to know them without constantly thinking how they are only friends. Treat them like people and who knows maybe you will find something about them you didn't know. Also try asking guys out yourself. Most guys aren't going to go after the 10 they will go and try with the 7 or 6. Those creeps have nothing to lose so they will go up to just about anybody. But really when you go out talk to everybody! And then make the first move. Once a guy gets a confidence boost he will take it to Mars and back!

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lazytoker · Nov 13, 2013

Maybe it's something to do with your personality.... Reading the Op you come off kind of.... I don't know... Something.

ChiefKeefer · Nov 13, 2013

Does your cooch stink? That'll make me be an asshole to girls

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million · Nov 13, 2013

lazytoker said:

Maybe it's something to do with your personality.... Reading the Op you come off kind of.... I don't know... Something.
Click to expand...

Fishing for compliments?

Montec · Nov 13, 2013

miss_dazexo said:

Seriously. I don't know if maybe I'm just attracted to assholes or if I attract the wrong guys or both. Well I know I tend to be attracted to the wrong guys, many of which turn out to be assholes. Here's some background information: I'm twenty two, almost graduated from college, planning to pursue a Master's Degree and open my own business, overall I'd say I'm very ambitious. I used to party a lot, I really don't anymore because I have other responsibilities and I'm just really focused on getting ahead. I'm pretty much the best of both worlds in terms of being a tomboy and a girly girl. I love to work out, read books, I like all kinds of music from hip hop to heavy metal, I can hold a conversation, and I'd say I'm a really chill person. At the same time I cook, clean, and do all that stereotypical housewife shit. I'm half Latina, I speak fluent Spanish, I have hazel eyes and long, black hair. I don't have to wear a ton of make up or extensions like other girls or tan every single day in order to be attractive. I always get told that I'm beautiful and maybe my problem is that I don't believe it. I don't let it get to my head but I have high standards for myself in all different aspects. My dream guy now would be good with kids, financially stable, chill as hell, kind of a weirdo like me, intellectual, mature, and adventurous.

Here's the thing, I think I'm a good catch but I always end up with the wrong guys. The ones who don't treat me like I deserve to be treated and who don't know what they have. Guys who don't have any motivation to go anywhere in life yet I'm so freaking naÃ¯ve and think I can change them because I'm different than other girls. I constantly get hit on and approached but it's almost always by creepy guys or assholes. I don't know if it's because I'm intimidating and only these type of guys are the ones who have the confidence to approach me or what. I'm pretty shy so I don't know if that comes off as unapproachable. I always see good looking guys checking me out but they're the ones who are too shy to say something, they just stare.

I guess this is more of a rant, I'm just trying to find out why I can't seem to find the type of guys I want. I pretty much give up.
Click to expand...

I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with you, seem very nice, very articulate. You just had a string of bad luck lately. And remember you're only 22, it takes time to meet the right person.

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Massholes · Nov 13, 2013

Based off the description you gave yourself, clearly there isn't anything wrong with you. You're a young attractive female so you're bound to get a variety of mens attention. I'm a pretty shy guy and I don't normally approach women (strangers) in public and its usually the confident guys who tend to do the approaching and confidence breeds ego and that's how assholes tend to be born.

My girlfriend of 3 years just happened to share a mutual friend. I never approached her but we just ended up hanging out a few times and it grew from there. (Im 25 now)

You will eventually find a nice match. Try doing some approaching yourself

hellobob09 · Nov 13, 2013

Sounds like you know what kind of guys you want, but admittedly, won't pursue relationships with them.

Weedity · Nov 13, 2013

I mean take the time to get to know a guy before you start sleeping with him or starting something serious with him. These days it's like everyone has to rush rush rush, or just fuck fuck fuck and move on. It's pretty lame.

Get to know a guy, if he shows you that he isn't lazy and he IS treating you well so far, try to make it more serious.

Also, I hate how women think they can "change" a "bad" guy into their good guy. Sorry, but if you have to "change" something in a guy, your better off finding a guy that doesn't NEED to be changed.

CC99 · Nov 13, 2013

you cant change a guy...look for a guy that is already ambitious/has a passion in some way that is also realistic (video games dont count as a passion..or ambition) if he is some deadbeat dude dont even start to think you can change him idc how attractive or witty he is

Jointsmoker415 · Nov 14, 2013

Bruh stop having sex with these dudes too soon, I feel like chicks think assholes bang better nd after the D they get stuck. I bet if u hella made dudes work for it ud end up with a better dude.

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240sxLover · Nov 14, 2013

If a dude is staring at you but won't approach, try smiling. I literally would never approach a girl if she A- wouldn't look me in the eyes and B- wouldn't give some signal like a smile or something. Chicks be scary as fuck. If you just walk up to them they'll laugh and reject you. I think most men would be afraid to approach unless they had some semblance of hope.

Also, if any dude is wearing a flat billed cap, that's a 110% certain sign of a douche bag. That'll narrow your search down by a couple thousand!

Aaagogo · Nov 14, 2013

simple solution, don't look for a boyfriend, just be friends 1st.

time is your best way of differentiating between an ass or a good guy.

ImBurnt · Nov 14, 2013

I felt like i was reading an eharmony bio for the first half of this ðŸ˜†

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