idk- I know this is a forum for stoners and in general a lot of you are younger but I had a stroke in December- I'm 46 so still young for that - in a rehab hospital all month- first 3 months at home I couldn't drive (started again towards the end of that but still hesitant about some distances and road types) had therapists coming to the house and nurses aid cause I couldn't wash my hair.. Very few people came to visit me and only 3 were willing to come get me asnd drive me the 6 blocks to the coffee shop open mic or shows on that block where they'd be going anyway. A few people heve kept promising to come visit but don't. My friend Steve and his gf are among those and also keep saying I can come visit them but the roads are narrow twisty ones I'n still afraid of and then they have bonfires in the woods and at her place it's WAY out in the woods and I'm still walking with a cane and could never manage it - I guess it's hard for them to understand that as they only saw me once in Feb by chance. I'm very disheartened by the people I call "friends" yes I can literally tell you who has bothered to call or even send an e-mail as it's that few. I had health problems before and even the last couple summers had trouble keeping up with them and often had to pass on doing things and be left sitting alone as people went off to the cliffs or such. In the summer a lot revolves going to town seeing who is around by chance and walking into the woods down by the river. Theres a couple places like that I could go but I'd need to pre plan and no one wants to. A few of the hobbies I got back into the past few years art and music I can't now do- still can't write or hold a paintbrush or continue m,y attempts to re learn guitar and flute. I also have very very little money which restricts my activities with my more well off friends - even before they often didn't ask me as they knew I couldn't afford where they were going. I started some new occupational therapy for the hand/arm stuff about 6 weeks ago and after todays evaluation (it's done ever 3 times) there is negligible improvement and on a few points I'm even worse. I've also been totally exhausted from it and even now I can drive often have to skip nights at open mic as I'm too tired or too much pain. I have to start proper physical therapy- leg stuff- next week but while she'd like me to come twice she is afraid I won't manage it so is starting just once and seemed even worried about that much. Yet I really can't Not start it as 90% of improvement happens it the first 6 months to a year and I'm already past that first window. It's been getting me so depressed epically seeing how little the new therapy is doing - really almost nothing. I have no clue what other hobbies I can try to occupy myself and meet people- there really aren't any left I can afford or physically do. Even missing out on a lot of music shows cause the places have too many stairs. I'm getting concerned my hand arm may not get much better and it's maybe only at 25 to 30%. I'd feel better if I felt like people even cared to ask how I was or include me in things. I've gotten no responses to my asking quite a few people to go for coffe or something else low key. And yeah I guess that does mean they aren't very good friends and I'm stuck not knoing how to find new ones. The summer is stretching out before me live a black hole. My sister lives 8 hours away and while she and my nephews may come up I probably won't even get to see them or for a half hour at best (due to her rude inlaws and her not being willing to say they have other plans ceriain days) which is all they could spare for me in January when they were here my parents are around 79 and 83 and in bad health. I really feel its been proven no one cares. I was hoping I'd have reached a higher level of recovery by summer and some of my concerns wouldn't matter (and I've only said a few). idk what the point of this was- it's late I'm upset - long holiday weekend before me wher I have nothing to do but here about all the fun my other friends are having. I think it would make such a world of difference to how I'm feeling if I had people to do things with. I've also notice when I do get out now I'm often depressed because it's large groups and wher you can't really talk and the coffee shop took away the outside tables so i can't go out and talk to people cause I can't stand that long
Dude...that's rough. But you will get through this. Things will get better if you work at it and try to make them better. Same with your health--keep working at getting better. Go to physical therapy. Work your fucking ass off. It will stop improving when you stop working at it. Things will get better, one way or another.
Awh, if only you lived in the uk near me id be your friend. As the other poster, stay strong, beat this shit and once yo u are better you can tell your friends to go fuck themselves. Do you think you could take up hobbies that could help your therapy ? Online games perhaps? I only have the one friend but i have many online and i manage to keep myself company by playing online games with them, perhaps you could try an mmo, it may even help with your therapy and if you find a game you really like than you can get hooked and is a great way to keep you occupied.
Hey Im sorry to hear that man I feel you. Sometimes I wonder if this is as good as it gets even at my young age. Its just a fact that some people arent going to be there for you in life, especially during hard times. But its important not to let it get to you, easier said than done I know. Ive been in situations like yours where Ive needed friends and they were no where to be found but life goes on. Just today I was thinking that it would be impossible to meet a new friend and I met a nice girl on the bus. As another poster said the internet really is a good way of socializing. Ive met friends here on GC and facebook and shit like that so just do what you can while your off your feet. Im sure if you just strive and keep pushing through that your therapy will show some improvements and youll be back to doing the things you love. A positive attitude and a little bit of hope can get you a long way. Good luck buddy and everyone here on GC will always be here for you.
thanks- there are a few sites on-line where I've made some friends the last several years thought sadly a couple have become inactive and kind of hard to keep even my couple closest friends from there. Most people around here seem nice but it's so big seems harder to get to know people but hopefully I will start to. idk about any on-line gaming- I've known people who do it but currently can only type with my left hand and have to limit it cause it's aggravating my carpal tunnel so idk if it would work with that. I just feel like it's too many things one on top of the other. And 3 years ago I'd already made a radical shift/change in my life and that was not even settled- now I'm even facing losing my apartment yet have no money to move (yes ironic I know cost my $3,000 for mover to come here as I had no friends to help me pack and move even if I rented a truck ... Just feel it would be so much easier if I felt people cared- most of the people I feel do are on-line friends who live too far away to visit or in other countries but I actually feel they would if they were closer. Really have had only one uinexpected friend this kid i know whos only 18 but he doesn't drive and bad with plans. You always here these stories of people finding all these unexpected friends during a bad illness but that wasn't me. anyway sorry I just am really glum this week- it's hard too keep your spirits up when no one wants to visit you or call you and the therapy is showing no progress but making some things go bakwards/get worse the past 6 weeks. And holiday weekend with nothing to do- just saw a friends post inviting people to his campsite tonight but it's no where I can go....blah sorry
PM me with your email or phone number I would be more then happy to talk, I know maybe you don't want any more online friends but it's all I can do. I'm thinking of you and STAY STRONG!!
Dang dude, im sorry that this had to happen to you. Those "friends" don't sound like friends to me. If one of my friends had a stroke, i guarantee you i'd be visiting everyday. But at least you have GC to keep you company, we're all here for you, if you want to talk or whatever, that's the great thing about this site. Like previous posters said, keep your chin up, work hard, you will beat this, and take you're life in a better direction.
I'm sorry about what happened to you. I truly am. I understand what you're going through, my mom, at 48, had 3 consecutive strokes in a day. From that day, where I had to carry her to our car to go to the hospital, to this day, where she is attempting to get her drivers license back I have seen a huge change. It has been 13 months, I believe. In the hospital my mom was unable to eat. She was unable to tie her shoes, unable to talk. Now she can cook, she can do so much more. I believe she has achieved that because of her hard work. I say keep trying, don't lose hope in your goals. If you want to talk to me, though I know you said you don't want any more pen pals, feel free to contact me. I think I would be good support. Good luck Sam
Sorry to hear about your misfortune. For the therapy, just keep working at it, my grandad (who is in his 80's) had a stroke in October 2010 and spent 4 months in hospital with his left side paralysed. He couldn't do anything for months. Through his therapy he now can walk with less difficulty, has regained his drivers license and he now believes he can regain most of what he lost. He is blind in one eye and has also recently recovered from a bout of cancer. If he can do it, I know you can. As for your 'friends', you don't need them, just believe in yourself and you can get through this. I'd be interested in hearing of your progress, You can do it.
If all your friends have abandoned you, God will always be there for you. If you don't believe in God I'd suggest giving him/her/it a try. Otherwise good luck to you man I don't know what else to say except that you're in my thoughts and prayers.
Hi- thanks for all you thoughts- made me feel a little better- today was aa bit better in genersal (also having problems health related with my parents who are 79 and 83 which I don't think I mentioned here but adding to my stress- mom is developing some sort of old age demenita among other stuff with both) I'll be sending messages to a couple of you in the next couple days and if you want you can send some to me. thing I'll say cause it does play into how I feel. 4 years ago Sept. I kicked my husband out of our old apartment (we'd been having ongoing problems he refused to deal with even with counseling- it's a whole other story) and 6 months later when the lease was up and he still showed no inclination to work on things I moved to wher I am now. I felt like I was jumping off a cliff blindfolded. Won't go into all that either. But it's been a rough ride befor this stroke and my health was already bad. And the people I've met here were the first new friends I've made in littealy years. Had just a few from before times, but one has a little kid (I did get to see her today we went to a new pizza place and she helped me re-organise my freezer and cabinets but she doesn't have a lot of time), ones husband is dying of a brain cancer and one works as a nurse and lives over an hour away first 2 live 30 mim away. yeah I do feel very disapointed in all the new friends I was so happy to meet- not that they are bad but I juess I thought maybe a couple more would help me as they live close- even with rides to the coffee shop open mic. I sometimes wish I had some sort of spiritual comunity to belong too but my beliefs are such a mixture I never find a place that fits. In high school my bf used to call my religion Deni-ism (my nickname is Deni) And after the last several years ikd what to think certain aspects of faith have gone down. Anyway I'll stop here now as I don't want to get more upset again as I want to try to sleep soon. But yeah- thanks everyone
Your story really touched me, and I really encourage you to work on your physical therapy. Back in Sept 08' I just absolutely wrecked my knee, dislocated it +compound fracture, yuck. And for months I couldn't even bend my knee to a 90 degree angle, but with 8 weeks of solid physio 3 times a week I now have every bit of strength and function back in my leg. And if it makes you feel better, you've made a young man appreciate his youth, quite a gift to give if I do say so.