LONG PERSONAL POST... You ever hear that expression...or has anyone ever told you that in regards to friends, you usually find one person in your life who becomes a lifelong friend? I'm not sure if it is true for others, but at this point in my life...that statement just isn't holding up to well. Up until recently, I really felt like I had not just one but TWO guys I could count on has friends till the end sort of deal. These are two guys I grew up with practically. There is J, who was one of the first real good friends I made when I moved down here at around the age of 7. And then there was C, whom I met at around age 9 after we made another move in around the same area, however different school districts. I remember, I met J while I was riding my bike, like the second day we moved into that neighborhood. He lived like 9 houses up from me, and we hung out every single day for about 2 years. Going into the 4th grade, I moved about 30 minutes from there. Me and J stayed relatively close, hung out frequently, either I or he had our parents drive us to eachothers house. However, I met C the first day of 4th grade waiting for the bus. He commented on my jordans at the time, yes I wore jordans at the age of 9. From that day forward we were great friends. We lived just about as close as I had lived to J before. We hung out through the rest of elementary school, and then by 6th grade we discovered skateboarding. Me and C skateboarded every day after school, without fail. I was ALWAYS over his place and he was ALWAYS over mine. Don't get me wrong, me and J were still close, we just didn't live within distance and at that age, 30 minutes away might as well be 300 miles. Everyday consisted of skateboarding, playing video games, more skateboarding...that was life in middle school. About midway through 8th grade we made another move, closer to the area I had moved from before. Me and C ended up at different highschools, and me and J ended up at the same highschool. So of course the frequency of hanging out between me and J increased. Me and C still made a real effort to visit eachother when we could, but it seemed like me and J were the closer friends now. Throughout highschool I was around J alot and saw C and spoke with him pretty often, enough to maintain our good friendship. Me and J ended up going to the same local college. Me and C kept in touch as he was going to college locally as well. Into our second semesters me and J both found gfs (I am still with the same girl 2 and half years later). However, when J broke it off with his girl after our first year of college, he decided to move about 5 hours away and goto college there. It really fucking sucked at first...I mean me and him were training partners. Thats all we did, just as me and C used to skateboard...me and J lifted weights all the time. But, I had my girl...and about a month after he moved, we hardly spoke. Me and C kept in touch throughout it all, although I really did become infatuated with my relationship at the time, and devoted much of my free time to my gf...which can happen. About this time, C decided to stop going to school and become a cop. Now I mean...we still had lived about 30 mins away...I had a gf...we didn't hang out as frequently, but I could always call him or he could alway call me and either of us would be there. We still had things in common. But when he decided to become a cop, our friendship just sort of changed. We didn't have college in common anymore. But, for the most part, he was the same dude I had became best friends with some 10 years ago at the time. When he made it through the academy and became a cop, things didn't seem too different at first, but that soon changed...he soon changed. Who knows, maybe it's totally different in his eyes. For me though, when he became a cop, he looked at me differently. This has nothing to do with smoking pot, as me and him never smoked together, and he never knew me as a pot smoker, but it had to do with different social status I feel. I started getting this vibe from him...as if I was just a kid still in school to him, and he was a man...a man who had a real job as a cop. He recently came by my house while I was at work...of course with his cruiser and gun, badge etc etc...but he never called me or texted me. He just showed up to show off to my parents basically. My mom called me and was like C is here btw...so I made it a point to take an early break to rush home and see the kid, as we didn't have time to see eachother often. It was as if...it was almost awkward. He didn't really acknowledge me so much, it felt weird. It was a saturday and my parents asked him what he was doing that night ,and I made a point to invite him to some PPV fights that night, but he just ignored my offer. I asked again, and he was like no...I'm going to "INSERT CLICHE BAR NAME HERE" with some of the guys tonight. He didn't offer me to come along or anything. In fact, after he left, my father made a comment about it...that C had treated me differently. Since that day...I haven't spoken to C much...some phone convos in the mix, but nothing of importance, he's just consumed with everything being a cop. IMO it has gone to his head somewhat, and I do feel he sees himself higher on the social ladder than me. So there goes that "best" friend...atleast for now. As far as J, he recently came back here. Things weren't working out in the other school and he decided he wanted to come back. We hung out recently and things just werent the same. It was clear we had both changed a great deal. Our interests aren't the same...personalities...nothing anymore. It feels like, he just never grew up. If anything...the living situation he was in up there...just made him even more immature and superficial. We haven't hung out since then..which was a few weeks ago. I don't feel things will ever be quite like they were before, as far as Me and J. We have grown in opposite directions. The only person I really have outside of family, is my GF and my friend P, who is more of a recent buddy. The same gf I mentioned previously in this post. We are no longer infatuated with eachother...but instead have a deep emotional bond and connection. She is my best friend now. But I realize our friendship is based on our relationship as a couple, and that would change if we were to break up. I had plenty of "friends" in highschool but none of whom I ever expected anything of substance out of. C and J I thought would be different, and I realize that they aren't. It sucks because...I know things will never be the same. It sucks to look back and remember all the things you had done or the shit you have been through with a close friend, only to realize it's just a thing of the past now. That is my post...just a personal venting of feelings on the subject. Feel free to read and comment however you'd like guys.
I feel you... I'm young, but work in a very 'corporate' atmosphere. There is no one there I can relate to - they're either my age and partiers, or my age and dorks. I feel like everyone I meet is a total fucking idiot and I can't relate. Arg it's hard to explain..
that sucks, but it almost sounds like your doing to J what C did to you, looking down on him as if he is less mature, but thats just my outside opinion.
losing friends is tough. but drifting happens. i know its happened to me and i just have to accept it.
It sucks but sometimes people change and you have to go seperate ways in life. It seems to be unavoidable. Thanks for the story.
happend to me everytime ..scine iam a little boy i dont know why it is so damn hard to find people which u can trust and which are just nice ! I nearly never met anyone like this i see thought people on the street or on Tv or on GC but i never really get intought ok i know iam young and things will change but iam not sure if not the only thing which change is the age the color of thier hair and the music etc.. dont know mabey the time can prove that iam wrong but right now when i look bake on my nearly 19 years old life i see alot what has to do with friends and so on i have perfect buddys to party ..and so on but i would not risk my life for anyone probley because i know they wouldnt do it for me ...and to love someone like u mother "in a platonic way" or let´s say that he nearly mean u as mutch .. that never happed or when it happed i was wrong about it and it was illusion .