What does my ex want??? Help!

Hi everyone,

So here is a little of the back story. It's kind of long and complicated, so bare with me.

I had been with L for about 5 years. It was an up and down kind of relationship, lots of fights and what not. We finally decided to break up, and it completely devastated me. He was the love of my life, my everything. I didn't know what to do with myself for a really long time. It didn't help that he moved to another state (due to work).

After about 6 months, I met S. He was amazing!!! I had never had a relationship like that before. He was literally everything I ever wanted from a guy, right down to the sex. This guy rocked my world. The best part was that he wanted something really serious with me and was committed from the beginning. After being with him for about 5 months is when L first contacted me. He basically wanted to apologize and tell me how he had changed. He asked me to keep a line of communication with him so that he could at least show me that it really did happen. Anyway, I agreed to keep talking to L. However, it really did affect my relationship with S. In the sense that just the simple fact of saying hello to L would make me question my relationship with S. Because in my head I felt like if I really loved S as much as I thought I wouldn't even be talking to L. Or I would be completely sure that I would want nothing besides him. Kind of like when I was with L when we started. It made me question the whole relationship and my feelings towards him. I wasn't sure if I really loved him or if I was just in love with the sex. The sex was amazing!!! The best we have ever had, like a sex high!!! Amazing!!! Obviously my doubts put a damper on our relationship (me and S). We ended up having arguments and just ended it.

Me and S have been broken up for about 5 months now. I still talk to L and next week he is moving back because he wants us to get back together. L has really made a 180. Ive been super happy with him. He has made huge efforts and was really showing me that he has matured. What im getting to is that it hasn't been just talk, which totally surprised me. Anyway, like I said I was beyond happy, dying for him to get here already, and spend all my time with me. And guess what?????? f@#% S sends me a f$%^ text out of nowhere!!!! F$%^!!!! it has freaking just turned my world upside down! He is just making casual conversation, like sending me best wishes for the new year, and whats new with you, and being all polite and shit! I told him I'm surprised he even contacted. He has spent the while day texting... not right away. He casually takes his time to text back. Anyway, I feel like this is dejavu all over again. What the hell does he want? He hasn't said anything that would lead me to believe that he wants to get back together. But its making me check my phone every 5 minutes. I hate it but it brings back all these feeling. I don't know what to do. What do I do? How do I deal with this? Do I just ask him point blank, what do you want? I know that, even tho he is amazing, for various reasons I don't want anything serious with him. But I'm having a hard time not answering his texts. I'm so confused... why do they keep texting me, ahhhh!!!

 

The bold part I guess is an editing mistake. But it doesn't come up bold on my part. Just disregard any bold text.

 

Thats what I thought at first, but he keeps texting me and wont let the conversation end. I'm not really one to be friends and stay in touch with an ex ( and I thought that neither was he). Maybe, you're right and I'm reading too much into it. Thanks.