I know, but if I comply with my parents, they will not really let me see my friends at all. And if I come home smelling like pot ONCE b/c they were smoking even if I wasnt, I'm sunk. Both my parents (my dad, when he said he wasnt making eye contact) and my grandma (when he said he smelled like pot... hadnt smoked in 3 days) have called out my bf for being high when he wasn't. I dont want to have to deal with being under their constant surveillance b/c I know if I move out they'll assume I'm smoking. I havent even tried to hang out w/ my other friends who they know smoke, outside of school. Just straightedgies or ppl they dont know about.
Tell your dad this. People can easily control their lives while still managing to have some fun. I just graduated salutatorian of my class (of 70 kids) with a 3.994 gpa. I smoke weed EVERY weekend, and sometimes on weekdays when I have time. It doesn't affect my life at all. I'm so sick of people thinking that you will deflate and sit on your couch all day just because you happen to smoke weed! I wanted to say something at graduation about it but my scholarships would surely be taken away. /Rant
You should say, "Yep, Dad, you're always right." Then leave it at that and prove him wrong, honey. You know what you're capable of, he obviously doesn't. Show him what he should ALREADY know. You can smoke pot while juggling school. It's easy to toke and study, just do it wisely. Don't go home smelling like pot and don't get arrested, I'm sure it's all they want!
Lol yea... he thinks that my grades will tank and I'll get kicked out of school b/c I'm just that reckless. Unfortunately, my dad's opinion of stoners will be, "All the stoners I knew in life, not one of them graduated college." Until I prove him wrong that is!
This is one of those instances where you should really choose your battles. I know exactly what your dad means by those last few sentences. You refuse to give up a drug habit, to have the privilege (they aren't by any means obligated to cosign for anything at all, you're a big girl, you pay for it) of them helping you get a loan. If I were your dad, having the same background (not mine), I'd think the same thing. You'd rather put your foot down over some pot, choosing pot over a decent school and your parent's blessing. You have to realize that your parents aren't like this because they want to piss you off. They're like this because they want the best for you, and they don't have to give a shit if you like it or not. That's part of parenting. Bottom line, from what I understand so far (don't get mad cuz I'm playing devil's advocate or I've misinterpreted the story), you're getting mad because you can't have your cake and eat it too. Either you give up the weed or you don't get your parent's help on a loan. If you choose to give it up, you get the loan you need to actually make something of yourself in life. If you choose to stick with the pot, your parents won't agree with that, and they won't give you what you want, just because you want it. It almost seems like you're saying they're obligated to cosign for you. Personally, I think that the day you turn 18 your parents don't have to do a single damn thing for you. It'd be nice, for sure, but why would they want to support a daughter who can't respect their wishes, in return for putting their credit on the line? Especially when it's over something like pot....unless you have a condition where the drug is necessary, it seems really nearsighted to be fighting over it so much. So, to answer the question posed in the title....you tell him that you're more concerned about your future than smoking some weed, and you go clean for however long it takes to get the cosignatures. Move out and do your own thing. It's not like they can go back on the cosigned loan contract....
It's like talking to a drunk, there is just isn't enough words or time in the universe to change the mind of somebody who is so set in their mentality. They're the kind of people you just have to nod your head and smile, and do your own thing unbeknownst to them
Hey bongprincess, Break it down to him like this... Why do you have such a strong hatred for marijuana and those who smoke it? Why do you care so little for them? Many teens (girls more than boys) deal with all types of things, anxiety, depression, anorexia, and stress. Tell him that it is healthy to have an occasional toke and relieve all the stress. If he wants, you can go to the psychiatrist and take those medications that have been proven to be addicting and increase or cause thoughts of suicide. Let him know your not a drug addict and it's really not bad. Ask him what has a weed smoker ever done to him that the average man wouldn't? When he says all the stoners he knew were idiots, tell him he probably didn't know those people and they were probably retards before they were smokers. Name people who have smoked in the past, such as Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, and anyone else he may find admirable. Also tell him how many people actually smoke weed and why there is medical marijuana available in so many states. That he's probably dealt with people who smoked weed a million times. Just have a conversation with him, if you don't live at home I guess it's a bit harder to do though. Just get a chance and talk to him about it. Good luck
Yeah... JW, how far ahead do you have to get college loans cosigned? Like a few months or not long before school starts? This school starts mid-Sept (kinda late, I know )
Thanks I've tried some of those tactics already, he keeps going back to the same hypocritical BS though, even though he pretends to agree with my reasonable view that some people can responsibly use drugs and others cant, he then goes right back to saying that he is vehemently opposed to drug use of any kind. Thats fine bud, but its not your life, is how i usually reply to him... and then he goes off about how 99% of ppl who smoke weed or whatever end up being losers b/c thats what HE has personally seen But i am definitely going to talk to him again, he has NOT had the last word... maybe if I string together a bunch of your arguments he will actually see sense. But it will be near impossible to change what he says is 50+ years of seeing that "drugs fuck your life up every time"...
LOL, he's pretty tough. Well some other things you can mention which I forgot to do... -When he calls stoners losers. Ask him what makes him think he's so great and not a loser? -Tell him that nothing the drug counselor tells you about marijuana has been proven or actually true. They still use old scare tactics instead of real facts. EDIT-Also tell him that the reason the counselor talks bad about marijuana is because it keeps him employed. He probably goes home and smokes some on the weekends. It is his job and he wants as many people to think they need drug counseling as possible. If someone wants to come and say they drink too much caffeine, then he will sit with them for the hour. It doesn't matter what drug, he just wants as many clients as possible. (MARIJUANA!..MARIJUANA!..YOU IN HERE! FOR MARIJUANA?!") -Make him aware of how great MJ is and why it's actually illegal.(One reason is because of whites being racist to Mexicans who smoked most of the chiva. -Also make him aware that YOU ARE NOT a drug addict or a drug abuser. You are a responsible marijuana smoker and marijuana is all you do. If he holds such strict restraints, then when your on your own you'll be likely to be more depressed and possibly use harder drugs. Tell him of how everyone thats your age that is actually enjoying it is going out and drinking alcohol(a toxic poison), something that seriously impairs your judgement. But you enjoy to just smoke weed to have a good time, unlike all the other AMERICAN kids who are getting screwed up. I hope I helped you somewhere... I've been through it. Putting ignorant people in their place is not fun, but it is rewarding. GL
My parents just kind of needed time to adjust i guess when they found out. They were extremely hostile about it at the start. I got into a massive argument with my dad about it, and at the end i was very ready to never talk to either of them again, but i showed my dad abovetheignorance.org, and gave him a couple weeks to kind of think about it and shit, and we're cool now. So...I guess just give him some time. I think the thing that parents worry about the most is that theyre kids will start with weed, and eventually become a crack fiend or something lol, so just state your intentions and such, and yeah. Good luck though, these things are tough.
My thoughts are that you are not telling us everything. no doubt youve told them u want nothing to do with them and u cant wait for independence and freedom. uve probably told them that you hate them too. Do you really think you are good enough to them that you deserve them to cosign your loan?
Wow that sucks. I say give up for the summer, but than again if my dad caught me would just say "so when you gonna pass me that dubbie?" Good luck.
School > weed. Go to school, do good, get a good job after and make good money to buy a constant supply of weed. Think about the future . It's like what someone else said, you can't have it both ways in this situation. but then again I do not know what it is like to have a parent like that, my mom never cared I smoked, we smoked together everyday until I moved out a few years ago.
Princess, Not to be harsh or anything, but do think about whats on the line. Yes you could smoke and not go to college. OR You could not smoke for a while, for a chance at better opportunities in life and while your at it have some fun on the weekends. Even after college you can be earning more money, and have the option for a toke once and a while. I've seen far to many people put their feature on the line, just for a kick now. You have a lot ahead of you, don't waste that. This is your life. Zpyro said it better.
go to the cheaper school do 2 years and transfer, but try not to get cougth smoking or anything get the loan and finsih school and never see them again thats my plan rub that in their faces!
You know what this sounds like to me? It sounds like he doesn't want you to leave, he's going to miss you and he's just using this as an excuse to keep you there longer, even though youre not living with him he still wants you near by because he loves you, its a subconcious defense mechanism to keep his family together, its not that youre not ready for college, its that he isn't ready for you to go to college. At least thats what it looks like to me with the info you provided.
There really isn't anything that you can say to alter the way his big head thinks... Your best bet is to stay clean go to the better school and then when you get there smoke up... I have a friend (currently working towards her masters in psychology degree) who's parents would find it disgraceful if she smoked or what-have-you... never stopped her... She'd always have to clean her dorm when her parents came to visit... She'd hide all her marley posters and paraphernalia... But seriously smoking and college go together hand in hand... Just because you smoke weed doesn't mean that you will flunk out because most of the people I know have succeeded and enjoyed bud... Whatever it's up to you in the end.