Whatsup GC, haven't been on here in a long time. But i got a lot of stuff on my mind and I cant really find anyone to talk to, its just like no one gets it. But I remember I use to come here all the time an read, help people solve there problems etc. I just need a little advice. Okay so me an this girl, (lets call her Brooke) , have always known each other since around 6th grade. Really didn't have many classes with her, Until 11th grade. Her an this guy had been dating for almost two years, they broke up, blah blah blah. Well we had the same class in 11th, i think it was U.S. History or something but anyway we started talking, meeting in between classes giving hugs an talking an such, Well one day we kissed, I asked her out , it was love. I mean real love. I know people who read this are like ahhh it was just a fling blah blah, Like i don't know, i cant explain it in words how i felt about this girl, how much i cared for her, how she made me feel, how beautiful she was to me, inside and out. I mean we didn't have sex until 10 months into our relationship, I took her virginity as she did me. We went to our 11th an 12th grade proms, went on little trips together to the beach n such, I got her high for the first time, took her to her first party, I mean we were a match made in heaven. The year I graduated which was 2010, I didn't know what I wanted to do yet in my life, I hadn't found my calling. I Went to a community college for about half a semester, then decided I wanted to join the military. She didn't like it at all, but i really wanted to join and I wanted to make her happy at the same time, So i joined the Army National Guard. Ya leave 3 days a month, also a 2 week training an deployments are often, also deploy in the U.S. for disaster's and such. So I left march 1st 2011. We stayed in contact though so many letters, finally when i grad boot camp I got to see her an my family, we both cried, laughed, had a good two days together. Then i went to job training, grad that, and while on base in Missouri i bought her a very pretty ring, my plan was to get off the plane, get on one knee an ask her. So the day came an she said yes. It was amazing, My life was going perfect, came home, got a civilian job, life was good. Then I started falling back into the party life( while I was gone she made me promise i was gonna quit everything when I got back) I smoked again, started doing coke here an there, going out all night, pushing her aside, but we maintained an worked on things, kept on, we were the type to say forever an always, like i shared so many memories with this girl, we laughed together, cried together, everything. Well the beginning of 2012 started an we were doing okay, around march I finally got transferred to my unit. On my first drill weekend that night when we was released everyone had planned to go to the club. I was 19 years old an hadn't been to the club yet. I didn't want to go but they said it was like a initiation thing. So I went out with them, I had a really good time, danced with some females from the unit, a couple of civilians, this one medic had been on my dick all night an she was dancing on me like crazy and even at one point I had to put her on one of my buddy's. Didn't cheat, just danced . This one girl even gave me her number but I didn't even save it. So the night went on an I crashed at one of my buddy's house. Well Monday came, so did Tuesday, and finally Wednesday i told her, She freaked out, we argued alot, then i said maybe we need a break, we still talked, an texted. I wanted her back. And that weekend she went to a party an she said some dude walked to the bathroom an she pissed while he was in there, she said she was drunk an they made out.( Like right now just typing this brings tears to my eyes an my heart hurts like no other. I mean I don't know what else she did and I don't even know if I could handle it. ) The next day i surprised her at work an brought her flowers an tried to get her back then she told me what she had done, i lost it, threw the flowers, yelled, screamed, cried, it felt like someone had stabbed me in my heart, I left her parking lot screaming tires. We still texted, i tried to get her back so hard..so fucking hard. She started talking to this guy who we went to school with who's a marine with a fuckin desk job, and I found out about it, so I asked her an she said yea they had been, I lost it again, left her a voice mail threatening her piece of shit dad( he was abusive to her when she was a child through 9th grade an she lied to the police) an her new boy friend. She blocked me, blocked my number, acted like i never existed. Months went by, and now its November, and she still don't talk to me. From what I hear an see from creepin (, lol, yes I creep, and your a lair if you say you dont) she post stuff like I love him so much, were in so much love, the last was my biggest mistake etc etc. After all we had been through i mean almost 4 years. We had grown so close, we were engaged. And now it all amounted to nothing, I hate to admit it but I still cry about her, I dream about her all the time, Every time I see a white car i think it might be her. I mean i don't mean to sound stalker, but this girl, had my whole heart. And she was so quick to just let me go, I just don't understand. Her family and friends had alot do with it probably. But if you truly love someone why would you just let them go? I wish I could just have one more conversation with her, I just want her back. I don't know who I am anymore, and the hurt isn't going away. What do I do?
If you love someone set them free, if they come back it's meant to be. She would have had a pretty good reason to end it. Maybe she just needed some time to think about what she wants out of life. It takes time to figure out. Whether you guys get back together or not, there's always someone else out there. Me and my girl broke up in may, she still hasn't figured her shit out. I'm tired of waiting, hence the planning of my next step. Going to pack up and move again soon, even farther away. Coming from personal experience, it's easiest to just forgive and forget. Move on with you life. Sure there will be days you'll miss her like crazy, but those feelings will pass. I'll stand by this, if it didn't work once it's sure as hell not gonna work next time. That stands true for every relationship I have had
True that. It just sucks man to know she got over me so fast and it was a slap in the face the dude shes with now has the same last name as me an is in the military. But yea maybe we weren't meant to be. It just sucks being treated like a stranger.
It happens man. People get over things at a different pace than others. Move on, find yourself a new gal. Chin up dude, she's not worth your tears.
Bro, just from reading your story i can smell the insecurity, not to be a dick or anything. See, this is what normally happens in a regular relationship; The man dictates how the woman feels. If the man feels that woman is trustworthy and happy, she will also be truthworthy and happy; However, as soon as you include the trust issues and insecurity and issues in the past and all this, you start thinking "What if she's fuckin somebody else?" Then you know what she thinks? "You know, i could be fuckin' somebody else!" This is where it all starts and ends; YOU! You are to set the pace of the relationship and any issues that you have are issues that you both have, thus said issues are going to adversly affect not just the relationship but any regular connection you make and keep, from a friend to a simple co-worker. So, i've laid out SOME of the stuff your gonna have to deal with to obtain a working relationship, but the whole point of this post is that if you don't love yourself how the fuck could you love somebody else? Best of luck friend and remember to keep making progress forward, not for you but your future family!
I think you deserve it. You can't snap on people and go all crazy, screaming psycho. You can't have your cake and eat it too. You can't go out and party like a single man when your woman is home alone. What if it was her? If she was going out with the girls all the time, pushing you aside and leaving you home, you might not feel the same way about her as you do. When you feel like someone don't love you its easier to let them go. BeZ...V
yeah the whole coke thing mightve had something to do with it. i mean, imagine if she wanted to go to the military and you wanted to stay home or whatever and she dipped, youd probably get resentful wouldnt you? what if she danced with other guys the way you did with those girls? Did you communicate with her how much you felt for her?
I can see were your coming from, how im insecure an shish. Maybe I got my own problems I need to deal with first before I try an be in a relationship. And maybe I did deserve it. I got so caught up with having a good time and going out all the time. But that's over with now. I've been clean since april an im staying clean. All that shish is for the birds. I appreciate everyone's input. Def gonna start focusing on me.