what disorder do I have?

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by smokeyeyes12, Oct 3, 2010.

  1. #1 smokeyeyes12, Oct 3, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 3, 2010
    I don't talk about this a lot but since I don't even know who I'm talking to as I type this, why not.

    I've been trying to figure out whats wrong with myself ever since the youngen days, I think I have some social disorder. The earliest symptoms I remember were in pre school. I actually remember pre school and I used to sit alone pissed off that my mom left me there while all the kids played and some kids would stop by and ask why I wasn't playing and I don't think I even acknowledged most of them. I wasn't in complete isolation and occasionally I would have days where I felt like joining in with the others. It's been like this my whole life. I get these streaks of isolation and then I eventually go out and enjoy the night. When Im alone I smoke and think deeply, and I also watch documentaries and educate myself on social issues. There are few people I connect with easily and open up to, I'm mostly independent. I feel I can't connect with a lot of people the way others do. Meeting people was always a weakness, I think when I was young I di.dn't develop my social structure enough and it fucked me up now. I usually meet others through introduction from someone else. I don't stand out or anything, and I care about my appearance keeping myself in check so I'm not one of those kids you're probably thinking of.

    From the people I do talk about this with, some say it could be depression, social anxiety etc. But I don't have fear of public places or social interactions with large groups. No panic attacks, but in regard to depression, I do remember having sleepless nights where I would sit awake and think of all the negative shit in my life until I fell asleep. Happened every night for a while as I was in middle school but after I started smoking that phase eventually faded. Can anyone relate to this? What do you think I have? Fuck it, needed to get this out.
  2. You have a brain. Watch out, they can be dangerous.

    (seriously, sounds like normal adolescence. The sleeplessness might be a bit of a problem, but is common around puberty)
  3. I'm not sure if it could be a disorder. Maybe you're just content being alone, I know I am. I love being a lone, and being able to think. Whenever I smoke, I begin to think very deeply as well, even if I'm sober and alone, my mind drifts. But I wasn't like that when I was younger like you were saying. I think I formed this after having a somewhat secluded social life and not getting out much, I adapted to being alone I feel like.

    But yeah plain and simple, I think some of us just enjoy being alone.
  4. #4 Kanatiki, Oct 3, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 3, 2010
    imo your just introverted. if you think you have a problem, think of why this is, if its having adverse effects on your life then fix it. Depression is normal for everyone, life isnt all sunshine and shooting stars and fat sacks of weed. If anything you have a problem with risk, or your just socially lazy. Your not the only one who feels this so dont think you are alone. Everyone likes being alone sometimes, i'd rather be alone than with others most of the time.

    Im not at ease during parties because im not really in my zone, im not having anxiety, i'd just rather not pretend im having fun. Im hating being alone now though, before i moved to where i am now i kept a small group of friends(about 5), having one REALLY close friend and i was perfectly happy. Went to parties when i felt like it but my best times were just me and my wingman chasing tail in bars or just tokin and talkin.

    If you've watched Dexter you'd know how i feel at social gatherings. I put on a new personality when in large groups to not make myself look strange or awkward (uncomfortable), even in groups bigger than 2. I do this to avoid feeling what you are feeling now, and feeling alone is just as bad, but just know that if your not happy you need to fix that at all costs.
  5. your a wolf, everyone else was a sheep.

    as for me, i would rather be alone more often than with someone. i cant explain why, i just feel better and more comfortable about it
  6. Are you happy with the way things are?

    If you're not happy with it, then definitely take the steps to figure out what is wrong and do something about it.
    But if you're content with the way things are then what's the problem? Why does it have to be a disorder? Just because it's not "normal"? :confused_2:

    I felt many of the same feelings when I was younger, and I'm still not a very social person. I have a few close friends (and by "a few" I mean I could probably count them on one hand) that I hang out with every once in a while, but besides that most of my time is spent either alone or with my husband.

    I'm totally happy with that, though.
    Truth be told, I don't like many people enough to really bother maintaining a friendship with them. Sounds bitchy when I put it like that, but it's the truth. :p

    The main issue is whether you're happy with it though, so tell me sir, are you happy? ;)
  7. And if you are unhappy, do you feel you are learning anything from the experience?:confused:
  8. You might want to work this out with a therapist. They're trained professionals and can give you an accurate diagnosis.

  9. I don't appreciate you coming in here with all your "logic" and "good advice", sir.
  10. Some people can't afford them... just saying.

    Idk if there are free ones...but I'm like.... pretty sure there aren't any

    edit: or is that a psychiatrist I'm thinking of... :confused:
  11. You can get a therapist on a sliding scale. There are clinics in just about every town. Or try the psych ward of the local hospital. Therapists don't prescribe medication. So you don't have to worry about having to take pharmaceuticals (unless you need them, of course).

    My apologies. From now on I will only speak utter nonsense. :D

  12. I see I see... so it must of been a psychiatrist I'm thinking of...

    Hell if I know... best of luck OP :)

    I'd like to think people just over think what they think about, and think they aren't normal, but there's really no definition of normal, bc no humans think exactly alike. So you may or may not have a disorder, I think everyone has some sort of 'disorder' now-a-days, I'd classify it as 'normal'

    And as you see... I over think too :p
  13. From my experience therapists don't have a completed understanding of behavior, and are unwilling to admit that it is the world around us that causes our social problems by not accepting our being to be divine by nature and offering us a higher purpose that takes into account the meaning of life.

    Our social behavior is not in any way ordinary, it is actually contrived and non sensicle, and doesn't contribute value to your goals or desires.

    What I gather is that you are choosing to advance your self personally without submitting yourself to the problems and enstranged emotions of other people.

    Insomnia is absolutely natural, as a habit in health you shouldn't actually sleep until you are ready to, the act of sleeping is supposed to help your body heal itself and organize your form to a higher degree of efficiency.
  14. I'm sure a properly trained therapist can find some way to pathologize this, depending on the OP's insurance;)
  15. fuck that, they would just pin me with twenty pill bottles and fuck up my head worse
  16. i agree, anti-depression pills suck. makes you feel more shitty for taking em first off, not to mention drugs acting on your brain seems weird without a LONG track record.
  17. You might want to look into symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome, which is characterized by lack of interest/difficulty in social relationships. There are many other characteristics, as well, however. You'd need to decide whether its fits you.
    I teach/have taught many kids with this particular disorder. They are very 'quirky'. They have been my favorites though, because they are themselves and have no apologies for it. They usually have some intense area/s of interest, to the point of having to know everything about it. Some of them have been-bridges, trains, video games, the list goes on. They usually have an above average IQ.

    For example-
    One 2nd grader with Aspberger's started at our school this year-cute as a button. The first day the teacher ask them if they could travel anywhere-where would it be and why. He said-Jupiter. She asked why...he said-because Earth is not working out so well for me right now. Sound like you?
    Asperger syndrome - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
  18. you have down syndrome

  19. not funny man, just not funny
  20. lol @ the 2nd grader, but why does she have to labeled with a syndrome? what perception does the psychological community take? it becomes more and more clear to me that its a stupid profession in most cases. sorry if you took that route but its just my opinion. Who doesnt have an intense area of interst? especially at a young age, we've all gone thru the ninja phase or the astronaut phase or the pyro phase.....its a learning process that imo is completely within normality. For Asperger's Syndrome, it must impede daily activities lol :| not only that it is very broad...who hasnt used a metaphor that only you would know, who cares if you are unusually pedantic, or show a lack of demonstrated empathy...you dont need medicine to make you into a zombie for this...

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