Alright GC... I really need to vent here, not sure if this is nostalgia-induced or I really just need to figure out what I'm doing with my life, but either way I need to do something. This is probably going to be a bit of a lengthy read, so apologies for that in advance. Thing is I have no idea what I want to do, I graduated High School in June and I what interested me most was, I hate to say it, cooking, but I also loved science and was thinking for a while that I wanted to be an architect, to sort of mash my love for science and man-made structures. Then there's the other side of me, the adventure side I suppose, that wants to be involved in the military criminal justice field. I was a Police Explorer during High School (Google Law Enforcement Exploring or Learning For Life) and have always had an interested for law enforcement and the military. Now this is where I hit the fork in the road... I can't decide whether I want to pursue my "creative" side or my "military" side (I'm not saying soldiers and law enforcement personnel aren't creative). There are so many thoughts running through my head, and it's so hard for me to organize them so I figured I would write out my thoughts and get some advice and inspiration from like-minded people (if you know what I mean). So, a few more things... I actually went to college for a semester, the University of New Haven, and I dropped out. It's not that I didn't like college, but I was 17 when I went (I'm 18 now) and not only do I not like classrooms but it was a nightmare to traverse the tiny campus (which I also didn't like). And it's not like I'm a "baby," I can adapt to situation and such but I realized that college simply wasn't for me which is why I realized I should just stop wasting money. Luckily, I dropped out in time to get most of my money back for the first semester. I made some good friends during my time there, and since the campus is only about 30 minutes away from my house I still visit on occasion and go to clubs in New Haven sometimes. When I DO see my friends, they usually ask me what I plan to do and for now what I've decided I definitely want to do is enlist in the Army, then get my degree through that. After all, there's so many bonuses to this option that I never realized before in my life, and the best thing is I can pretty much decide when this year I want to leave for basic training since there are quite a few slots left. 1) I get paid and it's a steady job. 2) I'm patriotic and I love this country, I'm not afraid to stand up for what is right and I completely support the War on Terrorism (especially in Iraq and Afghanistan). So being around people with a similar attitude would be nice. 3) Because of the G.I. bill and other bonuses, I actually get paid by the U.S. Government to get my degree. The way I see it, 5 years from now I'll not only have military experience but I'll have a degree and roughly $80,000, while my friends who graduated from college will still be paying off debt. 4) I can pursue almost any field I want to from the start, whether it be Military Police, Special Forces or Combat Engineers (Sappers, no idea why they're called that). Those or my 3 biggest interests as of now. I scored well on the ASVAB (a military aptitude test) and I qualified to do any job I want. There are more benefits but they're basically all listed on goarmy.com Unfortunately, here is where I reach my other dilemma. My best friend, I have known him since 1st grade, wants to join the Army as well. He never went to college even for a semester so when I dropped out and told him that I would be much happier joining the military (easier said than done, but it is true) he was thrilled. Since around November we've been training to join the Army together by doing the (it sounds gay) "buddy program". By doing so we'd also get a $5,000 bonus. Here's the issue; his intelligence is really below average. He's a good friend and a nice kid, just like me, but many times he is ignorant or naive and is too easily influenced by his parents or people who have no idea what they're talking about. He failed the ASVAB twice, and passed with a 31 on his final test (you need a 30 to pass, I got an 85 on my first and only test). So, one day out of nowhere, he tells me that he's leaving for basic training in two weeks, and I thought he was joking. Turns out he wasn't joking, and I couldn't believe it. He said he's "sick of this town" and wants to leave, I told him he was letting anxiety get the best of him and that I waited 2 months for him to pass the damn ASVAB, but he just won't listen to me. I told him that if we joined together we would be better off, but he just doesn't care. He won't smoke weed anymore (he didn't much to begin with) and ignores me whenever I try to tell him to look at things from a different perspective and actually think about his options. Now, I stopped "giving a shit" a long time ago, when I started smoking weed actually (that's another story) but I still cared about the things closest to me such as my friends and family. It was a good wake up call. Now I'm having another wake up call, that being that maybe this is a good thing (I try to be optimistic) and joining by myself could be a good learning experience where I can start fresh and become more self-reliant. My best friend, though, plans on signing his contract today and even asked me to come with him. It really is best for him to join with me because of the added benefits, but on the other hand, I need to learn how to handle on my own and mature. It's literally my last chance to either convince him or wish him luck on his own and part ways. What should I do? I just can't believe that me and my best friend I've known all my life are finally parting ways, should I not convince him to join with me. The thing is, I'm having flashbacks on my life and then I look towards the future, down many different paths I can take in life or what kind of man I want to be, and I'm really not sure which to choose. It's sort of depressing being home (I only see a few friends daily whom are still in town, and weekends if I party or what ever). I'm thankful to say, however, that weed has greatly helped me get closer to deciding (among helping me stay relaxed and stress-free). My only problem is that I have no one to turn to, which is not only depressing but has made me realize it's time for me to turn to myself (if that makes any sense) and start becoming independent. Wow, am I really growing up? I'm going to smoke a bowl Cheers, GC and thank you in advance for replies. Hope to see a few when I come back inside -Justin
You are so lucky. At least you have options that you want to pursue. I am in college, GPA sky high, and all I can see in my future is a dead end. Do things on your own time- your whole life is ahead of you.
I agree with the above smoker, I'm in college for science more than half way done with a high GPA, and all I see myself in the future is sitting in the corner of a lab or hospital, digging my own grave deeper and deeper, until I'm old enough to finally rest in it. AND I parted ways with all my best friends since kindergarten just to be here. (this was like a year and a half ago when I was about the same age as you, I turn 20 in 2 days) But anyways I didn't know anyone here and it is weird to start your life all over again, but trrussst me, you will learn A LOT about yourself, and when you do finally reunite with your broski, it will be an awesome experience which you will cherish and you both will appreciate each others' companies more as well.
Do what feels right. I got to a similar crossroads in my life recently, deciding which career I was gonna pursue with my university degree. I ended up deciding to take a year out and study further before university, meaning I was left at home after all my friends left for uni with a skeleton social circle; so I feel I can relate somewhat. To me the army sounds like a good choice man, but, without sounding harsh, it also sounds like your friend may have been holding you back. Waiting for him and enlisting in this 'buddy' initiative (sorry, don't know anything about American military, from UK) has a sound financial basis but if that's the only reason you're doing it with this friend is it really worth it? How will basic training work out when you spend time with someone not destined for the same goal within the army? I think your long term aspirations and goals need to come before immediate financial gain. There's no reason to assume that you won't remain friends, but are you enlisting together simply for the money? Hope it all works out man, and good luck in the future. p.s. I don't know your friend so I don't mean to offend you, him or anyone else with the above comments.
I know it's difficult for you to part ways with him, but just look at it this way; you probably have a lot more chances and oppurtunities then he does. ( seeing the intelligence and attitude difference) He probably feels that there really isn't another option for him other then to go ahead and enlist, and feeling that way he probably feels that the sooner he does it the better. Sometimes pushing yourself into a situation is the best thing to do, especially if you have an indecisive personality. I know the whole thing may seem like a big deal now, but if you eventually enlist yourself then you'll make your own friends along the way; perhaps ones that more closely share your ideals, etc. You may ever be better off in the long run. Just know that you will get over your dissapointment of the way things worked out, it's human nature to move on. and maybe this will happen for a reason, you could change your mind and find something that makes you way happier. I wish you the best of luck.
Why aren't you joining up with him? Did I miss it in your first post? What's stopping you from joining now? Your friend reached critical mass with his impatience to start making something of himself, but you aren't going to join up with him because... You aren't fully commited to doing the military thing? It seems like a good idea, but you aren't ready to make it reality yet? From your post, it sort of looks to me like even though you waited for your buddy to pass the ASVAB, you're the one who is backing out of doing it. I might guess that since you waited for him, it became more enticing for your friend, and when he finally got the "green light", passed the test, he is now racing off the starting line. But now you aren't going in with him. Please clarify, I don't mean to come off insulting, I don't know why you aren't going with your buddy. If he's as disadvantaged in qualifications as his score indicates, joining now must look like the best option for bettering his future. There are great reasons for joining the military, especially if you don't have a whole lot going for you. And there are still benefits that carry over after that first four years if that's all you serve. That's how my husband got his first house, with a VA loan a few years after he served. What's keeping you from going now?
Holy shit man, Im in the same situation as you except I dont have a friend that I would be joining with. But as far as I can say is if you dont like school then think about what other opitions there are for your life. Thats what im doing and honestly the military is becoming a better idea than any of the others. So I guess just wait and think hard about it man.
DON'T Worst decision of my life. EDIT-Saw you wanted rangers PM me I can tell you shit the recruiter won't.