Well guys, I've got a problem. I haven't talked to anybody about this, but I seriously love this community and figured you guys could at least give me an idea of what to do. Basically, I'm in love with my best friend. Here's a little backround of the situation. I don't expect you all to read all of this, but... Here goes. I need to get it off my chest anyways. January of 2010. My best friend at the time (total asshole) started dating this girl. I had met her a few times before that, because she was dating our other good friend, but... I don't know what happened. So anyways, Luke, started dating Teressa. She's a really cool girl, and after a month or two of constantly being with them, is when it started. I started getting REALLY strong feelings for her. She's perfect for me, I couldn't possibly ask for anything more in a girl. She's BEYOND talented, she's athletic, brilliant, and beautiful. The total package. Anyway, we weren't too close back then, simply because Luke wouldn't allow it. But, my feelings for her continued to grow. Seeing them together was heartbreaking for me, because he treated her like complete shit. He wouldn't let her have her own live, he controlled her 100%, he would threaten her and all sorts of stuff, I absolutely hated it. Around October of 2010, I couldn't take it anymore. I decided I needed to stop hanging out with them, so that's what I did. I didn't hear anything from them until early December. It was Teressa, she said she really needed to talk, and I always try to be there for my friends and loved ones, so I told her sure. Come on over. She was thinking about breaking up with Luke. He had cheated on her in the past, which I was there for, but I just couldn't tell Teressa. Keeping it from her was much harder than losing Luke as a friend, but I just couldn't do it. We had a LONG talk about how she didn't feel the same way for him anymore, I ended up telling her about the things he had done, and that was just kind of it for her. She broke up with him, andddd since then we've been closer. Day 1 of her breaking up with Luke, she went back to her Ex, who is currently one of my best friends. Of course it hurt, but ... I just want her to be happy, so I supported it. Tonight, she decided she doesn't want to talk or hang out with him anymore. ANYWAY... this past week has been ideal for me. Teressa and I have been hanging out almost every day. we go to her house, and just talk and talk and talk. Out of all my friends, she's really one of the only people who I can open up too. Tonight, she said she had to leave and it was about 9:21. We ended up talking until ... about 20 minutes ago, and it seemed like no time had passed at all. We're kind of helping each-other out now. Both of our lives have taken a different direction than we wanted, and we decided we were going to work it out together. She said she wants to experience new things with me, she wants to go do things neither of us had done before, and like... It just felt really nice. We've become extremely close lately, and my feelings for her are... still there, that's for damn sure. I'm not... The ideal guy, I guess? I haven't ever had a girlfriend. Ever. I couldn't tell you how many of my female friends have told me that I was their sweetest guy friend, blah blah blah. But all I have ever been for a girl, was like... I'm not sure how to explain it. I've liked girls in the past, and just ... been a confidence boost for them I guess you could say. They come to me when they're upset, which I don't mind. I say the things they want to hear, give them a little pick-me-up, and then they just go and date douchebags again, get hurt, then come back to me upset. Talking about how they'll never find a nice guy, and I'm just sitting there like "Uhh... Hello?!". Jesus Christ, I'm sorry for the novel I just typed, I'll just get to the point already I want to tell her how I feel. I want to tell her how I have had feelings for her since her and Luke started dating, and how She's literally my dream girl. But I don't want to ruin things. This is the happiest I have ever been, just being able to sit and talk with her makes my heart race, and I just.. don't want to lose that. That's all I have right now. Should I tell her? Or should I wait, and see how things turn out these next few weeks?
I didn't read the whole thing. but by the ending if I understand well you love someone and you're debating about telling them? If so, tell them. Not telling someone the feelings you have for them is the worst thing you can do in my opinion. No matter what the situation is. They deserve to know and you deserve to get that off your chest and know that no matter what the outcome is, you tried.
There you go, man. That's pretty much the perfect thing to say to her. Word for word. Any day you spend waiting is another nail in the friend zone coffin. Do it asap. If you don't you will regret it. If you don't do it I will beat up your dad.
Dude, i think you just described my life story with girls, like honestly.. LIKE PERFECTLY.(except for the current girl situation) Its crazy. anyways.. here is the thing. Girls don't really want a nice guy, they just say that. They do, but they don't. They want a man. Someone who is going to take charge and be mysterious, confident, sweet, and have his own opinion and all the other things they go googly over.. I think what the problem is that your just listening to her. You two are just talking. Your there for her, yeah that is what she needs (I guess) but i think you should be a bit more selfish and go for what you want.. but still be nice. Like do what you need. If you like her man, tell her. It could make things awkward between you two, but honestly, what do you have to lose? She wasn't really in your life before since you stopped hanging out with her and her (now ex)bf. Also, i don't know if your violating bro code or if you care as having your friend as a friend ever again(figuring you don't since you said he cheated on her which led to them breaking up for sure.). But that's something to think about. Girl's come and go like the wind, and there are so many others out there. But if you don't care about any of that stuff with your friend then... GO FOR IT! Get closer to her dude.. this looks like this is your chance to shine. hope this helps ha Edit: Tell her in person. no texts.
Dude you gotta move fast! quickly tell her before she meets someone (other than you) she cannot live without i know your situation ive been there multiple times unfortunately ive just never realized that the time had past for me to tell them how i felt...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DONT TELL HER. listen, if your that kind of sweet guy, that feeds girl's egos then you don't want her to be another one of those girl's who uses you to feel good about herself, while your left in the dust watching her get treated like shit. DO NOT RUSH ANYTHING. You are special to her. You showed her what being close to a man is like, what love should be, etc. Even if she does find somebody of interest, it most likely won't be as deep as it would have been with you. Give her little hints. Do not tell her how to feel & look weak, we girls love that so much. We absorb it like sponges. Make little moves on her, maybe when you guys are in deep conversation, stare into her eyes, and try to give off some sexual attraction, if she doesn't seem held back, make a move. Kiss her. Actions speak louder than words, and she'll be absolutely crazy for you if she doesn't know that your secretly in love with her, until she's in love with you in a mutual way. Enjoy the fire, don't rush it or everything will burn out before you know it.
I was so set on telling her, then read the last post... haha I don't know how to explain myself. I'm kinda shy, and I'm really sensitive... But, she's also seen me angry. I'm 6'6, about 245lbs. I've been in boxing classes for almost 3 years. I've got an extremely protective personality, I man up when I need to, but at the end of the day... I'm still that sensitive guy I guess. Yesterday in the car, I asked her what she wanted in life. And, when she came around to explain her husband, I literally feel like she explained me. "Smart, athletic, and sensitive". I wouldn't personally call myself smart, but she's mentioned before how smart she thinks I am. Bro code isn't being violated. Me and Luke had a falling out. He would take money from me any chance he got. He got in my face one night (More like my chest, lol) And I was just like "That's how you lose friends bro. Give me my bud and leave". We haven't talked since.
I read the whole thing, and the first thing I have to say is hang on to it man! I'm with my girlfriend since 7 months, and i couldn't be happier. Your story is exactly how it happened with us. She dated my best friend, we got closer and closer, became best friends and eventually...it happened. The best tip I could give you is telling you to take your time...There's really no hurry, and trust me the way it looks, its the same thing for her. It will happen eventually, and when it will happen you'll know it, just take your time and don't rush it
I'm just kinda worried. She met some guy at the club, and at first he was super creepy. Like, she was showing me the texts and it was just kinda like "Wow..." Last night she told me he invited her to some party, and she's thinking about going. This guys a douche, I don't want them to end up together before I get a chance, y'know? I'm so stuck haha.
You should tell her ASAP. Tell her that you have been in love with her since her and Luke started dating and that you think she is your dream girl and that you think you two will make a great couple and that being friends just isn't cutting the mustard anymore. After that, the ball is in her court. If you don't tell her now you're going to regret it.
Go get that girl right now or I'm gonna kick your ass! Well, maybe me and GGrass...and Million...and Full Melt...and...Godamn you're a big fucker aren't you? This is the opportunity you've been waiting for so don't waste it. If she's that great, she won't stay single for long. It's likely other guys have their eye on her too. Good luck man.
Would be awkward if she wasnt attracted to you. Do you think she is? Pretty sure she wouldve made a move by now.
OFF TOPIC: Are you referring to me? If so, how does my post make me a big fucker? and what do you mean by that? I'm curious. ON TOPIC: I'd have to agree with safesexrachael, but i think you gotta move fast before you lose your chance.
Haha no man, he was talking about me. She's coming over this afternoon after school, I'm thinking about talking to her about it.
if you talk to her you wont regret not talking to her later when shes got another douche bag boyfriend