Since tonight seems to be an unofficial "post about your problems" kind of night, I figured I'd use it as an opportunity to get some stuff of my chest. I've been kinda down the past couple of months. The way I feel things work, at least, this is how I feel that things are working, is that I really can't stay happy, or in a good mood. It's never any sort of long term happiness; it always comes it short bits n pieces. I'll provide examples if you're unsure of what I mean. The only short periods of time that I feel an sort of happiness are either when I'm high, or with a lady friend. I smoke once to twice a week. Honestly, I wish I had the availability to smoke more, but I'm just to busy with school and problems with friends. When I'm high, I forget about all of my problems. Smoking has truly helped through this difficult time, but it bugs me that I have to rely on marijuana to help me. I could stop if I wanted to, so it's not a mental addiction. The thing is though, I don't want to stop, because I'm afraid I won't find anything to take it's place. When it comes to 'romance', I haven't been in any sort of relationship in about 4 years. Over these four years, I have been simply 'hooking up' (to use today's lingo) with randoms, probably about five times a month. I know, I know, some of you are thinking "what's wrong with that?", but honestly, I think that it's hurting me more than anything. A night or two after every hook-up, I get even more depressed than I already am, thinking to myself, I need someone to make me happy like this all the time, but it just never seems to work out (long term wise) with anybody I meet. All the hook-ups do is provide, well, immediate enjoyment. I'm getting kind of sick of it, but their one of the little bits of happiness that I experience, and I feel that if I try too hard to enter a relationship, it just won't work, and I'll lose these little bits of happiness, much like my situation with marijuana. Whether they help or not, I'm scared to get rid of them. I don't have too many friends, maybe two or three good ones that I can actually talk to. I talk every once in a while to some of my good friends from High School, but I never hang out with them, and that bugs me. Hell, maybe it's me. Who knows. Well, if you managed to get through that, I appreciate your time. I don't really expect too many replies (or serious ones at that), but writing this just felt really good, so I'm glad I did it. Thanks.
well it sounds like you dont have it that bad man. try not to let little stuff bother you and youll be alot happier. See i have this problem right now where i have quite a few friends but i am only realy close to a few of them. And most of my friends dont like my best friend so they ditch me and shit. And when i try to chill with my other buddys that dont like my best friend they are kinda assholeish to me. And tto top it off my best friend always double hits the bowl cuz he thinks i dont know but he does it all the time and whenever i tell him not to he gets all pissy
Dont stress man. I know it seems bad at times but you gotta realize that you have it better than most of the people on the planet. Just realize that you have so much good in your life. I guarentee there is more good than bad. And if smoking weed makes you happy than smoke weed. Its not an addiction, it makes you happy, so why only do it a little. Life is short, enjoy it. Smoke weed all the time if it makes you happy. Whats more important in life? School or happiness? Just remember to live for the moment, and have fun whenever you can. If you feel like talkin my aim is : simongtp