"well," he sighed "I'm back."

Back from leeds festival. We got there on the day before and set up our tents at the top of the big hill. We met some cool people and got a little intoxicated that night. Nothing much happened. Second day I saw Amen who were SHITE! Then NOFX who really were good. Especialy their song about mr bush- IDIOT SON OF AN ARSEHOLE! Just sat around for most of the bands that day. Everyone was burning little brown blocks of resin (so it's not just me who can't get decent weed) around me (AND I MEAN EVERYONE). Prodigy were fucking amazing. Did see guns'n'roses but i was right at the back and fucking knackered so I HAD to go just before bucket head's nunchuku stuff (for the festival goers here). Anyways the second day was musically shit. Janes addiction were ok. Although their front man pissed me off oh too much. White stripes and weezer were quite good. Pulp and the Strokes were GREAT. But there were no outstanding performances. The third day was absoluteley amazing. I wanted to see the foo fighters from the front barier so I went in at 1PM during andrew WK who was SHITE. But I did enjoy A and half way through less than jake I was right at the front apart from one fucking row. Then the crowd surfers surfing to the front kept flailing their arms and kicking me in the head. I couldn't move my arms and it wasn't fun any more. I left and went to see Otis Lee Crenshaw (Rich Hall) and went back in having MISSED THE HIVES- GUTTED. Well during SUM41 I GOT RIGHT BACK TO THE FRONT AGAIN. Ash and Muse were great but once again the stupid fucks who didn't know how to crowd surf did it again. Down I went taking two other people with me- them taking two down each and so forth until a pile of fifty people were cursing me and I the crowd surfer. I left thinking I was going to get hurt- half from the stupid crowd surfers and half from the fifty people I PISSED OFF. The Singer from muse (WHAT'S HIS NAME AAAH I CAN'T REMEMBER) said:
"You've got to pick each other up if you fall over. I just saw a load of people go down and no one helped em up. We don't want anyone hurt."
Then he described what had happened to me, I think and said something about being careful while crowd surfing. But I was in no physical state to remember that (having been crushed and deprived of water for nearly nine hours. I tried to get back in for the foos (I REALLY WANTED TO MEET DAVE) but I couldn't get far in. They were still absolutley FANTASTIC though. After their third encore there was a massive fireworks display and I thaught that there were going to be no riots because people seemed happy. Let's just say I was glad that the bacon were out in force. It didn't spread around us but the amount of pork choppers flying round were really quite scary. Still we had a laugh and a chat with the fuzz near us and talked to them about MJ laws. One of them said to me that "The MJ laws are a pile of shit. But if we overlook them too much then questions get asked and we get the sack." I have nothing against the english police (on the whole) after talking to this guy. They are just trying to do a job most of the time. We were glad we moved a friend's tent from red. Now that's a funny story. On the first night we got a little drunk (me x and y) and I was just in a stupid mood (being unable to get some beer for which I was very annoyed). After me, x and y had thrown some raw chickens and a loaf of bread that had been waterlogged at the general public from afar, we heard how x's tent was on red camp. So we decided to move a friend's tent from red to yellow (about three miles walk). Instead of packing it up we just picked it up with all the shit in it and lugged it back- took us three hours but we did find a "large brand of chemist's in britain" trolley to push it back in (convinient because I work in said large chain of chemist's and knew how to open it so we could put the tent back in). Anyway x was camped next to his boss from work. I commented upon leaving their site that I was pissed off at not having beer. Y picked a beer from the crate which belonged to x's boss and gave it to me to shut me up. X picked up the whole crate of about 24 and threw them in his tent. I couldn't be a total bastard so I placed one beer lovingly on their doormat-esque patch of grass in front of their tent and we lugged the tent off red. We got it back at about seven in the morning and went to sleep. Well we moved the tent back in the end and i got that crate of beer as a thankyou. A funny weekend and apart from the stupid and dangerous shit people were doing like burning tents (one of which we put out with beer which we didn't want because the stewards had no more fire extiguishers left. We found fucking cans of butane gas in in and from the look of it we were just in time to stop the whole area we were in going up in flames and shrapnel- that SHIT ME UP. We were just in time. A good fest- shame about the fucking parasites that come there.