Tomorrow I get on a Bus, and go to NE. I am currently way past my benzo limit. Trying to push it as far as possible. Parents hate me. Got charges on the 22nd of OCT here in CO. No weed. 10 Klonopin left, starin me down. Lost all faith in the world, myself, and my just plain scared shitless. Im tired of not having a friend. I love you guys on GC, but I wanna talk to a voice so badly, not type. Im SICK of it. Im losing my mind in lonlienes, scardness, depression, anxiety. I donno what to do.. I donno how NE will help me change, I hope the best for myself.. but it feels every day is a struggle. Im so strung out, on everything.. opiates, benzo's, i scored some coke a few days ago.. I just hate life right now.. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK /rant sorry for my bullshit guys. just feel hopeless. Ive completely lost faith. I feel like one of those emotion whores, i hope i dont sound like one edit: FOR EVERYONE TRYING TO TALK TO ME ON AIM AND GC AND ME MY RESPONDING IS BECAUSE IM TIRED OF TYPING AND HEARING THE SAME SHIT. I WANT A FUCKING VOICE FOR ONCE. I FEEL SO TRAPPED AND LOST IN MY OWN HEAD. I CAN ONLY GET HIGHER. IF ANY ONE OF YOU NIGS WANT ME TO CALL OR YALL CALL ME, ME LEMME KNOW. ONLY MY CLOSE HOMIES IF YA KNOW WHAT IM SAYIN
I got my phone back man, if you want to give me some time to finish something you can hit me up and we can talk for a while. You still got my #? All I can say otherwise is that you're going to have a hell of a time in front of you but you just gotta take what happens and roll with the shit. I don't know what time you're facing and shit but it's all on you man, you're the one who determines what you do(n't) get out of it. I was stuck in a mental facility for a year and probation for 9 months after, the shit ain't fun but it at least gave me a lot of time to think about shit and work toward bettering myself.
The kid answered him like a dick, and was obviously not trying to help bigd. There are people who care and there are people who think the anonymity of the internet gives them a license to be a jackass. I think everyone should ask themselves that question before they post, which am I? Especially in a thread asking for assistance, not discussion.
I could not agree more. Bigd^ is a good guy, I got a lot of respect for him and the shit he has to deal with.
Well, I'll stick up for the member that said that. In my mind, he's acting like more of a friend than anybody who is encouraging him to do any drug at this moment of his time. To the OP, I've read your previous theads, I know what you've shared with the board and my advice to you is take up those people that have offered to talk to you and quit ingesting anything until you get your head on straight, 'cause you've been fucking up by the numbers and you want out of this place you are in, right? Said with all the respect in the world from one human being to another, time to man up. Move past this teenage angst period of your life and take control. Face the consequences of your actions, take responsibility for them and do what you need to do to put yourself in a better place. Don't expect it to be easy or quick and knock off the drugs until you get the hell out of this dark place you are in. In your state of mind, they are counter productive. You have the rest of your life to get wasted if you want, work on your problems with a clear head and body now. But I'm sure that wasn't supportive enough.
Hey bigd. I've been down that road my man. It's a tough spot to be in. I know I'm new around these parts but if you need anyone to talk to feel free to shoot me a PM and we'll exchange #s. Life is always throwing us curveballs. Once you learn how to hit them, you can handle anything. Hang in there brother. LB
Im am glad I was the one who gave you your red bar. I am positive you will be banned. Have a good one, kiddo.
DBL Post, yeah yeah... to everyone else thank you alot for talking and replying. I really apprciate you guys, especially LegitBaller, windowPanes and thank you so much MajorStoner. To the rest of you guys, much <3 edit 2: i will be sure to update you guys before i leave for NE, and once I arrive. I know imma smoke some hella bud when i get there and get my ativan refilled.
Yo bidg I've been reading your threads and it seems like NE can be a fresh start, but its all up to you though. Sort out your shit man, good luck and remember thers always people here to help you out. Peace. +vibes for tomorrow
Try to keep your head up brotha. after your little binge taking some time off to clear your mind and get things in perspective will do you good, i was in a similar situation. trust me, ODing on pills is NOT fucking fun so please be careful man. Everyone goes thru tough times and although it may seem like it you are not alone.
FYI, my name is derived from the Grateful Dead logo in my avatar. But seeing as you can't possibly be more than 14 or 15 years old I wouldn't expect you to know that. Squishey is right... "not worth it". Sorry this douchebag had to piss on your thread bigd. My offer still stands though.