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Weed or relationship

Discussion in 'Seasoned Tokers' started by Zuax, Nov 6, 2003.

  1. I am sure this has happened to a few of you, I hear about it all the time, and it happened to me. My girlfriend told me she doesn't want to be with a pothead.

    I don't get it, she knew full well that I smoked, and in lage amounts, before going out with me. Now she wants me to stop. Sure I sometimes get baked out of my mind and like to smoke every or every other day. But its not like i am running out every night to score a $20 bag because if i don't i am going to go mad. I have been clean for a while now acutally.

    I really don't even care about getting absoluted fried I just want to smoke just a little every now and then, just something to cheer me up you know? Is that too much to ask? Its not like I want to do anything man made just a little herb.

    I wish I had a roor, an oz, and my old bros....

    Damn I am really depressed.
  2. ah dude that sux man...i went out w/a chick like that for awhile...and she randomly wanted me to quit... and we agreed i could smoke every once in awhile.. im not sure how we eventually broke up..it might of been over it...all i gotta say is good luck and keep token! try and reason w/her..
  3. yeah, try and compromise... but dont let a girl rule your life, it will end up miserable
  4. Zuax Tell her you will Not stop smoking pot just because she does'nt want you to that just sounds so fucked up to me right now she is trying to change Your Life personally i would rather not even be friends with some one who thought like that or acted like that so id dump her and keep tokin...
  5. I can tell you that if smoking pot is something you truely enjoy and know that it has a place in your life......

    Then tell her that straight up. That's a part of you and it shouldn't be changed for anyone. If she really loves you, she'll want to be with you even if ya do smoke.
  6. From my own personal experience, I'd say stick with the weed. There's plenty of decent girls out there who will appreciate you for you, you just have to find them

    It's unfair of her to ask you to quit when she knew full well you smoked before you started dating. It's unfair and selfish of her to ask that of you.

    Tell her this is who you are and if she can't accept it then you will find someone who will.
  7. GET RID OF HER! Okay, so, don't just go and dump her strait out. Tell her that just becaues you're going out doesn't give her the right to change you (because it doesn't!!). Let her know that weed is a part of your life, and that if she can't accept it as part of your life, then she shouldn't be part of your life.

    Aynone who really cares about you will never put you into a "it's either me or (weed, your car, your video games, etc.)" situation.

    (waxing psychological here) I'd also recommend that you take a long hard honest look at your relationship overall. Take a step back and try and look at it from an outside perspective. Does she manipulate you in other ways? Do you always (or most of the time) bend to her whims? I'd be willing to bet that those are both true. What's also true is that love is blind, and if you like her a lot, you'll probably have a hard time seeing these issues.

    Moreover... you illuded to needing weed to cheer you up. Manipulative chicks often have low self esteem, and people with low self esteem are attracted to others with low self esteem. I'm not saying that you do, but it sounds like you (along with a million other people) may have a self esteem issue as well. If you do (be honest with yourself) get help. I'm serious!! Self esteem is the SINGLE most important thing you can give to yourself. It will make you happier, healthier, and more attractive. There's a book simply titled "Self-Esteem" by Matthew McKay, PH. D. and Patrick Fanning. It's only $6.99. Buy it, read it, do the things it says to do. It works. Trust me on this.

    *steps off his soapbox*
  8. Who needs women, when you have hand lotion and the internet?


    I had this happen before. I gave up pot until I could open my girlfriends mind. Now she smokes with me all the time. During the ocassional time when I'd slip, I'd tell her that I smoked. It hurt her, but she was just glad I told her the truth.

    Still with her by the way. 4 years last month.
  9. A real question should be:
    Is the sex worth putting up with some nagging?

    If it still is (assuming you are having good sex with her) then I would keep hitting it and do not be so flagrant in smoking.
    Don't smoke in front of her. That is just inviting her to say something and you have to reply and so on and so on.

    If, on the other hand, you are not getting good and plenty, then run her ass off. If you do not know good from bad (in the sex arena) then dump her, find another one and hope the sex is at least as good and she likes to smoke with you.

    If the new one likes to smoke with you, then make sure she has her own supply and is willing to share it with you. It would be best if her vendor was different from your vendor. It is always good to have a choice. If she does smoke but just mooches off your stash, then she is fucking you twice. Then you have to decide if the fucking you are getting is worth the fucking you are getting.

    I met my wife 25 years ago. I got high then and I still do. She has never smoked. Once in a while she will tell me that I need to quit smoking that shit. It is usually right after I have taken a couple of bongers and am coughing my ass off.

    She has always worked and is real easy to get along with. So, it has worked out for us. If I was giving advice (and I guess I am) I would have a partner who did the same drugs you do.
    The sex is much less often than it was 20 years ago but the pot is much, much better. Thank God for genetic engineering.

    That drug can be Sex, Pot, Booze, Money, Work, Jesus or anythig that changes our mood. It is good to at least have SOMETHING in common.

    So, do a reality check and do a quality check. Is her ass worth the shit it is putting out? You stoned fucks do get the double meaning of that last sentence don't you? You people make me sick. Bunch of losers. My bestest friends.....

    Here, take this (entending arm with thumb and forefinger clasped and leaking smoke).

  10. So he should stay with her only for sex? Is that all she's worth?
  11. I was saying that everything is a tradeoff.
    If there is a reason to put up with the difference of opinion on herb usage, then stay. NORMALly, if the relationship is worth saving, the sex is good. That is a primary measure of how stable or happy the union is.

    It is always one of the first questions that is asked when someone is treated for depression or in marriage counseling.

    AND, if the guy is young, then he is probably having sex thoughts about every 3 minutes (look it up) so he needs to have a good and healthy outlet for that.

    If the sex is bad now, the relationship is 95% doomed. The end might be thought to be over something else (money, drinking. infideltiy) but sex will be a huge factor.

    So, why waste time in a deal that is doomed.?
    If the sex is worth putting up with the fighting, then stay.
    Else: Run, run like the wind.

    Same goes for women.
    You deserve a good and rewarding sex life.
    If you guy (or partner) doesn't do it for you, then find one who does.
    Life is too long to be frustrated that way. It effects every other portion of your life.

    I am not a relationship professional, but
    I do watch Dr. Phil regularly and the man should be president.
    Him or Oprah.

    Here, take this.
  12. No disrepect ladies, but I believe what it comes down to many times is that the gf likes the bf, but wants to "improve him". Your gf thinks you'd be that much better if you weren't a stoner...lol....what too many of us forget is that we should love the whole person as they are...relationships are for lovin' not for improving your mate!

  13. Nooooooo,
    I am not saying that women are squeeze toys.
    I am saying that the RELATIONSHIP is the object that
    needs to be looked at. If they are fighting over something
    like him smoking, then there has to be something that is more powerful that is keeping them together.

    And you know I am right. When the couple is young, the sex has to be good or the relationship is doomed. It cannot be considered a good 'love affair' if the sex sucks. That goes for both sides, it has to be good for both participants. If it is only good for one, eventually the other will get tired of being used as a sex object (even though it is her duty *just kidding*) and the pair will split.

    If they are staying together because of habit or don't know what else to do, get out. Find someone who you are compatible with in bed, at dinner, in conversation, in intelligence, in music (country western & heavy metal relationships should be outlawed) and in spiritual beliefs.

    Mrs. Tokie thanks you for your sympathy.
    She certainly deserves it.

  14. It's not just girlfriends who do it. My exboyfriend made me quit for him. I'll never do that again. They think they are improving their mate, but really it's just causing resentment. And it also makes you feel like they think you need improvement. I don't understand how someone can do that when they knew you smoked before you started dating. And I understand where they're coming from, but they need to realize being a stoner is not the end of the world.

  15. Point taken Hempress...you're reminding me to take of the blinders as usual....I guess its part of our human hardwiring...;)
  16. Don't stop doing something for a person, unless YOU really love the person and are willing to do whatever you have to to be with this girl.

    Good luck, you'll know what to do.
  17. to me a relationship is way more important than weed. If i really love a girl and its someone i think ill be with for a long time i have no problem quittin (well just not smokin around them). Its never like you have to fully quit, when your hangin out with your buddies and your girl isnt around you can still smoke she'll never know.... If it was a girl i wasnt really sure on marrying or being with for a long time then id just kick her to the curb, i hate when women try to completly change who you are. Its just like love me for who i am not who you want me to be.

    Edit: i look at it like this, most of hide smokin weed from our parents and most of do a damn good job at it. A girlfriend or wife is no different, obviously you cant be smokin right in front of her but you can still go over to blow joes house watch the football game and smoke a couple blunts. I actually feel that when you got a wife its actually a good idea to cut back a little cause ive noticed its easier to take care of responsibiltys like family when your not smokin as much. When you smoke alot you tend to get lazy and thats when the ladies REALLY start bitchin
  18. You guys, and women! are awesome, thanks!

    I was just in a horrible mood and my relationship was not helping and needed to say that to someone.

    I think this weekend i am going to smoke a bowl, thanks again!

  19. I know what you mean, but it's not good to hide things from someone you love...if you're close enough with them they'll eventually figure it out anyway. And that will most likely just cause more problems.
  20. yeah you have to admit most people that have to hide it from their parents, or at least most that i know of dont really go out and have a nice dinner or even talk to their parents

    i know i come in the door and im like yo and then i walk off i wouldnt want tit to be lik ethat with a loved one

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