I have been smoking essentially every day since July of last year, 2 year sobriety from everything before that, and smoking from 15-18 before that, and everything had been going great, then I came back from a week-tolerance vacation in California and smoked in December and it gave me my first real terrible anxiety, ever since then, every time I smoke it gives me anxiety, or rather exacerbates whatever anxiety it triggered in January because I believe I have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). I took SSRIs from January to June and discontinued them because they weren't doing much I couldn't do on my own with meditation, exercise, quitting smoking. I know it does this to me and I believe it actively reduces my quality of life and probably is physically damaging to my body considering I can feel the stress and aches in my head and mind yet I continue fucking smoking it. There's no doubt I'm dependent/addicted, I do plenty of other drugs as well but weed is something I've dug myself into a hole with daily as a complete crutch. I probably sound like an idiot, but what do I do since I obviously don't have the will power to do anything about it. It's like I'm a goddamn goldfish forgetting every time I sober up that I just get anxious every time I smoke, uncontrollably, it's a physical and mental worry/anxiety, and just want to get high again so I keep doing it. Has anyone ever heard of something this ridiculous? Thanks for bearing with me and offering advice if you could Whatever anxiety is present in my mind sober is really minimal/nonexistent, however when I smoke it completely draws it out and makes smoking highly unenjoyable and makes me nervous and hard to socialize with people, even my girlfriend
You exactly described me and weed in the past. Here's what I've done to change it and actually use it to change and improve your life instead of it destroying you. Get a pen and paper. 1) what are the anxietys in your mind while high? Every person has a tape playing in their head that they are not conscious of. They dictate their beliefs, how you perceive the world around you. Smoking in a way makes you conscious of this tape even though you might not be anxious outside of being high, deep down the anxiety is there and actually hindering you in real life. Me for example would always skip school and sleep until 5pm everyday and sometimes for a week straight wouldn't go outside. I didn't feel bad about it but when I smoked and I smoked everyday I would be depressed. Wondering why I was smoking weed and blaming it for everything. Then one night I was losing my shit while high and asked myself "what am I thinking about right now?" And It hit me like a brick, I was skinny, not eating healthy, treating my body like shit, poor hygiene. Weed does not pull punches it's always straight up with you. And although I wasn't aware of it sober when I was high it would be in my face in a way telling me to take care of this shit now! 2) Can you do something about it? Write it down! For me it was clear, I needed to start eating healthy, start grooming myself, go to the gym. Which is easier said then done especially if you have the habit. So I got myself a journal toked again and the anxiety came on strong but I focused on writting my goals based on my anxietys. I started to think about everything I could do about improving my life and writing it down, I started to feel good about myself I wasn't having a bad trip because I wasn't thinking negatively anymore I was taking the negative feedback and using it in a positive. The mind can only hold one thing at a time it cannot be thinking of something positive and negative together try it. 3) Write an action plan and take massive action! I have to say weed went from being the devil in my life to being a great asset. I have never felt so good about myself and my life. It wasn't easy, sometimes I'd fall off the path and you will too, everyone does but in the end if you keep moving forward it will compound over time. I now feel great when high if I don't I know something's up and I figure out why and do something about it. I can guarentee you though if you don't and keep smoking you'll always be miserable. Just like I was for five years. I'll close this with one of my favorite quotes from Napoleon Hill in his book Think and grow rich...."You become what you think about" always remember that.
hmmm small steps... try telling ur girlfriend how you get anxiety when you smoke, so the problem is out in the open. Then, you can do 2 things. 1) smoke, and now that she knows about it, try and work through it and break through some barriers or 2) get her to help you stay away from it
Hi, This is my first post here, I'm not really replying to your post exactly, I would like to say something about what I just read, I'm the complete opposite of what you say, I was in a bad place after a life of privilege and a fall, I was the unmotivated couch potato, my life completely turned around when I began to get high again after a seven year time off, I now cook, clean. Work out, write, surf the net more, watch less tv it all crap anyway, how many murder shows do you need to see, so that is it, and this one guy who said he goes to Jimmy when ever upset, Jimmy is in you, and John is to,o they were out teachers, but you are awesome in your own way dude, you do not need Jimmy, thanks and I look forward to hanging here more often
