Vodka one night, cleaning the next.

Long read but funny and worth it

So the night starts off great we're just kicking back listening to some alpha blondy and watching the comedy network. My cousin (I'll refer to him as "Z" from here on in) pulls a 40 of smirnoff out of his 'magic bag' as he called it . Anyway we go run and grab the oj and start drinking. One thing leads to another and this is the earliest thing I remember..

We decide to do some hot knives with little pieces of weed, so we get a paper towel roll, stick a nail through it, and load it with ice. I go to grab the knives from the drawer and I rip the drawer all the way out and utensils go everywhere. Z just says fuck it and we hit the knives. After 40 minutes of this im pretty fucked up, I have no idea how much I drank, but I know im high off my ass and wasted.

I remember walking around and getting into an argument about something, but just yelling at eachother and eventually ends up with us being even better friends than before (You know that feeling when you're drunk). Anyway, we decided to make one of those delisio pizzas in the oven, after we make and eat that it my memory gets hazy, heres where the crazy shit starts happening..

I fall back onto stacks of old papers near the basement stairs, but all the paper falls backwards and next thing I know I fall off the side of the stairs and onto the hood of Zs car, cracking it really badly. After crawling off that and cutting my arm pretty badly, I fall backwards onto his pool table which completely breaks apart (Domino effect with the legs) I'm a pretty big guy, 6'3 185. By this time my cousin is getting downstairs, doesn't care about his windshield because he was getting it replaced the following week. Then I remember trying to fix the pool table but fucking up the pocket coverings even more.

But then he notices the pool table but somehow doesn't say anything, usually hes an outspoken guy who likes to tell people off, guess its family. I don't remember anything after this. I wake up about noon today, first notice the 40 is completely empty, then go to the bathroom. There is vomit EVERYWHERE, like im talking everywhere, in the little thingy that holds the toothbrush, BEHIND THE MIRROR, in the back of the toilet (The water part), EVERYWHERE. I go downstairs and notice that part of his furnace thing is broken, then wonder where the lawnmower is.. I go back upstairs, look out the front window and see it in the ditch across the road, covered in about 3 feet of snow.

Z is up by now and I ask him about the lawn mower, "Dude we were riding the lawnmower around on the highway at 3am, you don't remember that? I did some pretty awesome catwalks bro!" Anyway I spent the day with Z cleaning up and noticed either he or I puked up entire coffee crisps (Like if someone were to just try and deepthroat a coffee crisp, but then swallow it, thats what they looked like).

Now I have to clean, shovel snow, and fix a pool table.
One fucked up night..

 

Don't split a 40 between 2 people.