[Video] The Wordsmith

Discussion in 'The Artist's Corner' started by pieking, Nov 28, 2011.

  1. [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huItNz3H4v0]The Wordsmith - YouTube[/ame]


    I am a wordsmith
    A master of my craft
    I create weapons on paper
    That could cut you in half
    And I laugh
    As you try to do the math
    When the problems were solved
    Before I wrote my rough draft

    I am a wordsmith
    A true armor artison
    I make the shields that cover
    The cracks of bipartison
    I reach across the aisle in style
    With great guile in a way that
    We haven't seen in quite a while
    I see these words that were tossed into the pile
    and I take them, line them,
    And rewrite them in single file

    Because I am a wordsmith
    Its more than what I do
    I'd say its who I am
    But that isn't quite true
    Its more of a sickness
    Like I came down with the flu
    And my words can be vicious
    As they spread from me to you

    But one good thing about music
    Is when it hits you feel no pain
    And if you think that line was stolen
    From Drake then you are insane
    As that verse was written during
    An entirely different reign
    When the stream which music came from
    Was more than just Gucci Mane
    Or more of just the same "Artists"
    Tryin' to be like Lil' Wayne
    When their "music" is just a stain
    That seeps into society
    Like the words of Mark Twain
    Except with meaning much more vain
    And a style much more plain
    In the end,
    You'll be Just another that I've slain.

    Because I am a wordsmith
    The weapons you bring to battle,
    I'm the one that made them.
    The only reason you have them
    Is because I long ago forbade them.
    Exhiled because someone stepped up
    And then slayed them.
    You think they are unique
    due to the way that you've portrayed them

    But remember this,
    Those words have been beaten like a dead horse.
    I bred them, read them, and shed them
    Like a bad divorce.
    And of course,
    You swept them up and try to put down with a godly force
    But you forget, I am a wordsmith.
    It is my weapons that are the source
    Of the divine power tapped only by the Norse.
    That hammer of Thor's?
    It was created by me.
    Just some more words that I edited out of history.
     
  2. Nice man is this some poetry?
     
  3. Thanks man, it is indeed! This is the latest poem I've written.
     
  4. #4 Guadalope, Nov 29, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 29, 2011
    I dig it, but you need more of a multi-syllable flow and not just a one syllable flow with the last word rhyming at the end of the bar. Nah mean? I'd say in a year of writing you'll be way better than ATM.

    Here's a dope song "Wordsmith" by Chino XL
    [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TM6itMg9nGg[/ame]
    edit: Plus as you write more you begin to find your style, nah mean, takes a lotta work/time to finally devolope your style/it's always changing and evolving, keep up the writing.
     
  5. I am very glad that you mentioned that. I try to mix up the style a bit between my poems. I'm going to do a recording of an older one I wrote that features a much better multi-syllable structure.

    I really appreciate the kind words and the constructive criticism. I sometimes find it tough to find the happy medium in style between rap and poetry. Not that there has to be a difference, there just is one for me.

    I'll be sure to hit you up when its posted. I could always use some guidance from those who know whats good.
     
  6. NP sir, I'm a writer my self... only way I keep my sanity. Your poem/verses you posted remind me of my early writings. I been writing rhymes for maybe 3 1/2 years. About everday some breaks for like 3-4 hours a day.
    Maybe I'll post some videos of my work if I can upload them.

    Took me this year to really develope my style... I grew up listening to lyricists like Mr. Lif, One Be Lo, Canibus, Big Pun, Chino XL, K-Rino.. and essentially wanted to be like K-rino/Big Pun (I don't know if you're familiar with any of them, if not peep them they're some of the Greatest..) and realized I won't be like K-rino our styles similiar but totally different. However I see how they have all influenced me greatly...

    Lately I been writing like ME and not like other artists... Like I'll be spittin' bars that are so dope I'm like who the fuck's song is that? Then realize oh true it's mine... and I'm like awww sheet...

    IDK Writing is fun as fuck... playing with words... after writing mad poetry I started writing a book and realized I'm extremely gifted in this realm of creativity... very cool. I'm as good as I am with words as I am with drawing with pen and pencil. It's cool as fuck to be able to paint a canvas with words.

    PEACE KEEP IT UP...
     
  7. not bad writing but you need to work on your delivery... forreal.

    Original Recording:
    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gR--f-x5_8]Sage Francis, Mullet - YouTube[/ame]

    LIVE:

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2EPECbJfg8]Sage Francis - Mullet - YouTube[/ame]

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIuMhnNuzQI]Sage Francis - Mullet live @PaidDues Original - YouTube[/ame]
     
  8. Thank you for the comment and constructive criticism. I'm new to the camera and as I do more videos I become less and less camera shy. Can you give this one a quick view and tell me if you see, even the slightest, improvement?

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Md1jI6G8NTE]Equally Separate - YouTube[/ame]
     
  9. #9 Guadalope, Dec 2, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 3, 2011
    Words of advice:
    You gotta break out of your shell. I had/have the same problem. I performed once and it made breaking out of my shell waaay easier. Now I spit for people no problem...

    Put the same passion you put your into writing into your delivery... I freestyle all day everyday in my car over beats while I'm driving. I love doing it there cause I can be LOUD as fuck and exert all the energy I want without people complaining about noise (I have neighbors above me).

    Start freestyling it's the best way to better your delivery IMO. Or freestyle your writtens do whatever... You gotta exert energy with your delivery otherwise it's garbage... Developing your delivery takes just as much effort as writing if not more. For some people their delivery is easier for others no so much.

    You can't just say it, you gotta mean it. You gotta grab the listeners attention nah mean...

    Just like writing your delivery always changes.

    (Was something else I Wanted to tell your but I forgot... if I remember I'll post it)

    Here's some shit I spit today... Not my best delivery... I got lazy/fucked up my flow towards the end, plus I gotta go out but I figured I'd post it anyway.

    EDIT: Knowing your entire written word for word, bar for bar, is the best way to work on your delivery... You need it to just spew it out automatically like muscle memory if you have to think about the next like your delivery will get fucked up and they're be a pause/fuck the flow up. Knowing it bar for bar means your can fuck around with your delivery easier and see what sounds better... yea..

    Being able to spit what ever it is at any second, any moment def helps deliver it better. Also express how you feel about it what ever it is you know? Unless you're like Guru the monotone flow won't really work well. nah mean...
    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_D7kIkdlwAo]Old Habits Die Hard - YouTube[/ame]
     
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