Very paranoid. Please help

Due to the fact that you're paranoid I'd avoid pipes.. Something about the resin and the butane in the pipe causes me to have bad highs which often result in panic attacks.. NOT FUN, I don't know if you've ever had a panic attack while high.. but it's super scary! If I were you I'd go with a nice small bong, not too small, that will be harsh, espcially because you're new to weed. Just get something under 30cm high and stash it somewhere.. what I like to do is take my fly screen off completely and sit with my legs out the window when I smoke up. Probably a bad idea.. but oh well but make sure the wind isn't blowing towards you or the smoke is coming straight back into your room and you'll get caught! If you're still a bit paranoid or can't sit out the window, still blow up the window but blow through a toilet roll stuffed with Dryer sheets, it will make the smoke smell like laundry. Or you could always burn incense Let me know what you end up going with! 

 

Wait, so you're paranoid when sober, then chill when you get high? That's a new one!
 
If you're going for stealth smoking, look for smaller pinch hitters. You won't be able to get too high to function without noticing until it's too late, since they only pack one good hit. They offer the convenience of being small and easily hidden, as well. Have fun with your toking, but be responsible and respect your parents.
 
Use a window fan and toke near the window and put a towel underneath the door. But I do have to say - if your parents don't want you smoking, well.. it's their house. I know you're probably going to do it anyway, but keep that in mind if you get caught.

 

You could also get papers and just roll a joint, the papers are smell free and can be hidden anywhere really, and in my opinion more fun to smoke, but a pipe would work great too.
 
Just don't smoke inside, ever. You will get caught eventually. Just take a "walk" or drive somewhere and smoke it.

 

 
If you're just starting, start out right:
 
1.) Don't use lighters if you don't have to! Get a spool of hemp cord from a local shop. It's natural and tastes great. You won't get the taste or chemicals from gas or matches
 
2.) If you're paranoid, choose the right times to smoke. Don't just smoke for the sake of smoking right now. Smoke when you just finished an exam you feel good about or something. Get the positive vibes goin first - this will help with the uneasy feelings of paranoia.
 
3.) The piece won't matter too much, but if you're going for discretion, buy a pack of cellulose papers and learn to roll them. They do not add odor or taste, they are COMPLETELY organic and chemical free, and they are clear, so if you need to throw it away in the grass, they are nearly impossible to find. I share a couple tips for using them in this thread: http://forum.grasscity.com/apprentice-tokers/643810-how-roll-cellulose-papers.html?hl=roll+with+cellulose
 
4.) You'll get caught eventually. Especially if you are smoking near the house or living with your parents. Don't go around acting like it won't happen. Take the necessary precautions and prepare to be calm if it does happen. They worst way to react is bratty or offended. Be calm and respectful. Not all parents understand the culture or like it, just make sure that no matter what way you handle it, STAY CALM AND COLLECTED. You don't want to associate the reefer with disgust and disrespect. It should be something you can talk about.
 
Any other questions: I'm your man

 

What I recommend to people whose parents give them shit about smoking is this: consider the possibility that maybe you are yet too young to be toking on the regular.

 

Btw, welcome to the city!

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