So lets just start this off with by saying it was a nice typical vacation night about 11:30, I was in because I had enjoyed vacation a little bit too much the night before and hadn't been feeling....up to it so I decided the night was going to be a much needed recorvery period and my parents, sister, grandma, and I were on vacation and they were all gone except my grandma (she was catchin' up on her z's) and my dad getting the great idea of only getting one room so we could "spend more time together" just wasn't cuttin' it so I was watching FIGHT CLUB and can I just say thank you foreign country for having the only american channel play fight club cuz I dont know how much longer I could have taken those berserk informercials about juicers, anyway like I was saying I was watching the movie and was on GC and I remembered two things 1) Remember to watch the best of gary busey on youtube and 2) I had shhtuff so being that I had absolutely nothing on me I had to get something fast! So I think, " hmm what should I get? what should I get?".....I can't get a bong or piece anywhere right now aaand my sister won't have anything...and then BAM! I could use an apple!! So I looked in the fridge and there was nothing "Could I use a tomato???? NO too soggy!" So with no luck in the fridge I thought if there could be any store open at this hour. I knew nothing would be open but, in the back of my mind I had some hope. "no nothings open." I said! Then I remembered there was a basket of fruit so I ran back up to the place and damn! everything almost was gone! So i quickly look for stuff and then find a pear. "good enough." I said. So after pulling a macgyver and quickly linking pens apart et cetera et cetera (etc. etc.) voo-eh-la! a smokable contraption (edible to only the brave) and so as im holding this walking around thinking of places I could do it, I walk outside looking for something and found nothing and knew that was a rook move I ever so swiftly walked back up to the room passed person after person, passed maids and countless ashtrays I finally reached my room. I told myself I can't just straight up smoke wherever everyone will be back soon. So the most obvious place was the bathroom and I would get a fan...done! I set up everything in the bathroom and probably made a lot of noise my grandma woke up and asks me to just make sure I shut the light off after I get out "okay I will grandma.." I said with a huge smile on my face knowing that I was about partake in some of the best stuff I ever had in about 2.5 seconds. I partook for a bout 10 minutes to not make it too obvious and being efficient and smoking it all I walked out and yes I did remember to shut the light off and made my way to toss out my tainted pear and had to gracefully talk to my grandma and make it not be a dead give-a-way and after some mozart like precision and making sure my grandma was fine, I said my good-byes to the pear, finished watching Fight Club, and wrote this story. Oh yeah, and did I mention I did this all while maintaining a conversation with my boss from work?