Lately, whenever I think about life I get sort of an uneasy feeling. I just feel as if I should be doing something different right now, but I dont know what and I dont like this feeling. I graduate late May and leave for the Air Force in the middle of August. I go to school, and I work 3 days a week, I exercise 3-4 times a week. The rest of my time is spent with friends/family. I also dont have that much money to my name, but thats why I am working, aand I will work at the YMCA over the summer which is nice. I dont know if I should be working for something more, or to sit back and relax and spend most of my money over the summer etc, or save it. I dont really think I need to spend it since once I join the AF , what I am making now will be dirt. It would be pointless to save for a car again(bought one before but lost it due to an accident), since I am leaving in about 4 months. I really hate this feeling, its as if I feel like I havnt accomplished as much as I should have. Any opinions would be nice,
it's all straight... it's a trend i see with my friends, i always see them as being happy, but sometimes they confide and kindda let out what you just said....i think it's just us twenty somethings being between kids (hs) and successful adults (you see where you've been and there's marked growth- spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically- and you see where you're setting yourself up to be...yet you're still working for the inbetween), it's harder when you have friends or acquaintances who are starting to taste success could also have something to do with anticipation of the AF. that's a very broad plain to cross with MANY paths so you could just have an "antsy-ness" about the prospect... or this could be a time to really take a couple days to yourself and think over the commitment you've made (don't know if you've joined up and are awaiting bootcamp or if you're going to sign up after grad), could it be it's not the path for you?
I've been observing over the past couple of years how life (especially in america) is a big fucking competition. Everyone wants to be the best, everyone wants to get to the top. Everyone is trying to change everyone. And day by day I realise more how much I just dont give a fuck, im fine being an average person, all I want is a simple life, and to enjoy myself.
Hmmm...yeah. I am already signed up, I leave august 15th. I keep thinking it might not be the right thing for me but then my dad convinces me otherwise. The only other path would be to go a 2 year college then transfer to a 4 year college. I like this idea, my parents take is that I am too smart for that(which I am). They think that a 2 year college isnt right for me, because when I get there I will think everyone is really stupid. I am really smart, I just dont enjoy homework or things like that to school, if school was an accurate test of how smart you are, not how well you can memorize bogus facts, I would be getting A's. I think I will fill out 2 year college applications anyways. EDIT: Definitly, I get a lot of pressure to be better than other people , pretty much because I feel like a lot of people think they are better than me.
Life has become a rat race, and the trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. Life is not like card game. There is no "best hand," no object to it, and most importantly, no winner. Life is the most subjective of all experiences. People should do whatever makes them happy, as long as it doesn't infringe on anyone elses right to be happy. If someone needs a big house and an expensive car, then thats good for them. People shouldn't feel the need to compete.
Mr_Mojo and Lebowski put their fingers on it. In a lot of ways our society implants the subconscious need to be better than the people around you. You feel like you need to be smarter, better looking, to accomplish more, to have a better job, or whatever. Thing is, you can claw your way to the top and still be miserable. It's important to not bank all your hopes in the future, because you don't know what the future will bring. The best you can do is to live in the moment. Every instant in your life has value and is beautiful in its own way. You don't experience life any better because you've accomplished more than other people. Maitereya made a pretty interesting topic in the spirituality/philosophy forum that might be appropriate for what's troubling you: http://forum.grasscity.com/showthread.php?t=84801
I may not have any advice, if that's something you're looking for. But I can empathize with you. You've put into words what I've been feeling for a while and just didn't know how to say. But I think it was Lebowski who said that this is just a weird time in life. I think I see it as "the end of growing up."
you put into words how i am man. i just want to get by and enjoy the ride. as long as i am happy i do not care what is going on. my parents and my sister(especially) are ALWAYS on my case about what i am going to do. When time comes to decide i will, but for now i do not know and i do not CARE
I've already resolved the fact that I'll never be happy no matter what I do because it can never be enough. I have to say I use ganja to ease me into this mindset, cuz it makes me very depressed and ganja eases that depression a little. Maybe I'll end up being successful. Right now I face the decision to continue with school, become a good artist, contribute to society, etc. etc. etc. I also am relatively sure that if I do that I will either: 1. Never get married because I'll be married to my work. 2. Marry someone who I don't care about much. The other option is to slowly fail out of school and move back home with the rents for a few years before getting enough money to afford my own apartment with room enough to grow ganja. (this is in the other scenario, but probably much later down the road cuz I'd have to focus alot on my career for five to ten years or so b4 it can pick up). I don't know, I like ganja a little too much because it actually has tempted me to live a life of complacency and comfort over the slim possibility of having a truly awesome life and career (which, to be honest, would be very well possible if I could handle myself responsibly but I'm lazy and reluctant). Anyway, I'm not really sure either way, to be honest both seem like very good choices. I know to some it would seem that the former would be far better to chance than the latter, but I have alot of anxiety and fear regarding the future. Sometimes I feel like it might hurt alot less if I didn't expect so much out of life and just decided to relax for the rest of my days. My advice is that if it bothers you enough, you'll make the choice to become something/somebody different even if you're not entirely aware of your making the choice. Give it some serious thought and decide what you at least think you want.
Don't feel like you have to figure it all out before August. If you are unsure about your next move, I would definitely not sign up for the military quite yet. They sometimes fail miserably in rewarding smart individuals, and you'll find yourself locked into a 4 or 6 year run you cant stand. A 2 year college sounds like a good idea, its cheaper, and shorter. You can get your feet wet and get a reasonably good idea if a 4 year is for you. I am going on 29 soon, and in the past 10 years, I've had 9 jobs. They ranged from managing 6 figure contracts in the mental health field, shoveling dirt landscaping, driving a delivery van, tv/internet satellite installs, and more. Ive loved every one of my jobs, those i worked with, and the experience I've gained from it. I've also got 90 credits in Speech Language Pathology completed. Do i have ANY idea where I'm going to land? Not at all. As long as you are reasonably happy with where u are, and realize that you do not have to keep up with your friends, you'll be fine. Im very happy for my friends who are having their first, second kids, buying a home etc. I rent a house, i have a good sex life, plenty of friends, i work out, i study martial arts, i golf, i toke.. What im trying to say is, dont stress over it all, life is a journey, you'll find your path, i guarantee it.
I think everyone feels uneasy about life no matter what their age. It keeps you thinking and striving for more or different things. As far as I'm concerned, it's normal and good for you as long as it doesn't consume your thoughts.
im in your position man... im 18 going to be 19 in may, graduating in may, i work 6 days a week and have workd 6 days a week since i was 16. im planning on going to college but i dont know if it right for me... pot isnt helping either...
its just the weight of thinking you have to decide what you're doing for the rest of your life by august 15th...you don't. you can always change your mind (except for the AF contract, might wanna see what the shortest you can go for would be and test the waters). i'm in my second year of college and i still have almost no idea where i wanna go with myself. but don't let your parents tell you what you want...you know what you want better than anyone else