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Undue Buzzkill

Discussion in 'Seasoned Marijuana Users' started by OdaMaeCoffey, Jun 4, 2019.

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  1. I've been smoking since I was eleven. I'm now thirty. Never in my life have I understood why my being stoned gets people offended. I am usually a calm and quiet person thanks to weed. I'm a bipolar person by nature with PTSD from DV. People want me to be calm until I'm calm from being stoned. These people also smoke. If I get calm/zen from weed, people assume that I'm in some super shitty mood until I can no longer enjoy being stoned as if me being quiet is me going out of my way to start problems. People will get offended and leave the room as if I don't want company. Weed makes my brain calm to where I'm either in deep thought or not thinking at all. Considering my mental situation, I'd like to think I'm allowed to be zen. On top of it, it's a meth addict with schizophrenia that just stays in my bedroom, expecting me to do nothing but pack bowls while he talks my balls off, literally, never shutting up. I also have a brain injury from a car wreck. It's hard for me to take in non-stop information about MK whatever and bacteria being spiritual symbiosis on a governmental level, blah, blah, blah. It never stops, and it cancels my high as I'm smoking. I can't have some man snapping in my face out of my zone out so I can pay attention to a non-stop lecture on bullshit only to be pop quizzed on every other second. How do I get silence? Imagine non-stop lectures and pop quizzes when you're trying to be stoned and zone out. Next thing you know, in order to teach you a lesson for not having your entire focus on him, he steals your money to get drunk to make you babysit him so you never get to enjoy your high. Make it stop. I don't watch conspiracy theory videos on YouTube when I get stoned. I'm a liberal woman that's lived in a mind fuck for over a year. He gets offended if I have anything to do. So, I've been sitting on my bed like this for over a year. He won't let me lay on my bed. I have to be sitting. I CANNOT enjoy my weed. Imagine greasy shit and bad breath all over your bowl with hair in the mouth piece. God forbid I get PMS. I can't put on an act for 17 hours a day. I have 7 hours to do everything I have to do and sleep.
     
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  2. Run.

    :smoke:
     
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  3. First of all, I am so sorry for your situation. When I first started reading your story I was thinking go to your room, but then you said he doesn't let you lay on the bed. It sounds like you may still be in a DV situation? Is he your partner, like an intimate relationship? You say he just talks your ear off. I mean have you tried to talk to HIM about how he is upsetting you and making you feel this way? Does he know about any of your emotional or mental needs? I understand this may be a volatile situation but in order for change to happen it must happen on the inside as well. I guess maybe I don't have all of the facts to begin with. It sounds like someone may need to intervene if the person you are living with is not letting you SIT OR LAY on your own bed....
    what is your intuition telling you to do? That is where your wants and needs are.
    :smoke:
    I wish you all the best of luck, I know this must be hard.
    Cheers
     
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  4. What you're saying doesn't add up, sorry.
     
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  5. He is not my abuser. I live at my parents' house in my bedroom. He is my nephew's dad. He is like an older brother to me. My big sister won't let him see his son because he's on meth. He moved into the shed last year after we found him being homeless. He insists on being in my bedroom for 17 hours a day, watching conspiracy theory videos like he's doing as I type. I am expected to babysit him because I don't work since I'm on disability for mental health issues. The PTSD is from my former abuser that I left five years ago. If nothing adds up, it does not to me either. I don't understand why I'm expected to babysit a 36 year old man for 17 hours a day while he's on meth. It's like I'm expected to sit in one spot all day and night while he talks my balls off, and I've not had one second of alone time in over a year. He controls my remote. He's doing a bunch of stuff my former abuser did, and I can't get stoned because of it. Here comes the dubstep. Yuck. As a pothead, I'm "not allowed to space out/daydream". I have to be perfectly alert at all times. I get fingers snapping in my face when I am caught being stoned. I don't get why it's so offensive for a person to not talk while staring at a wall. Being bipolar, I thought people wanted me to sit like a robot, but it offends everyone if I act like a monk while they smoke my weed. I have to act like a chipper cheerleader while I'm stoned so people in my room don't get offended if I shows signs or symptoms of being stoned... even though it's my weed they smoke. I'm not allowed to enjoy my weed. Only other people are allowed to enjoy my weed. If they smoke it all, they act all shocked and pissed off when I run out. I'm just expected to do nothing with my life but pack bowls. I'm not allowed to even smoke out of the device of mine I choose. There are all these new rules I have to abide by when it comes to smoking my weed as I've done for almost two decades. I don't want my resin smoked before resin scraping day. All these rules make weed no fucking fun. I have to keep my weed in my bra if I don't want it stolen. I just needed to get this out because if I complain in person, everyone accuses me of being bipolar and a bitch which activates my PTSD shit because my former abuser did all that buzzkill bullshit while calling me a bitch for not being appreciative. That asshole passed around my quarter at a party for everyone to get a bud on my 24th birthday. It just seems like people get too sensitive about me staring at a wall in silence. I love to feel catatonic, but it offends people that never shut the fuck up. Nothing wrong with the sound of silence.
     
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  6. No need to be rude. Maybe ask me to better explain instead of getting all offended like the people that get offended at me being stoned.
     
  7. #7 Deleted member 1091500, Jun 5, 2019
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  8. Stop letting people take advantage of ya fk em need to stand up for yourself.
     
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  9. giphy-133.gif
     
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  10. #10 Deleted member 1091500, Jun 5, 2019
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  11. #11 Deleted member 1091500, Jun 5, 2019
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  12. Dude when I first started smoking regular when I was a wee Billy I used to watch Dog the bounty hunter because it started just after my parents went to bed.. the amount of tweakers on that show is unreal lmaooo
     
  13. #13 Deleted member 1091500, Jun 5, 2019
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  14. How do I delete this thread? I only ask because I don't trust I'm not being monitored by meth lovers. They'll go get a job at your job to watch you. That's just an example of how fucked with I have been.
     
  15. I saw instructions in the sticky; I read it.
     
  16. #16 Cactus Ed, Jun 6, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2019
    If you consider that rude you should have seen what I wrote before deciding to be nice. Why don't you walk out the front door and take a breath of freedom? Problem solved. And I'm not sure you understand what getting offended means. How could I possibly have been offended by anything you said?
     
  17. Go find a organization that will help u get away from ur current situation if u can’t do it on ur own.
     

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