Well, I need advice on what to do in this weird situation I am in with this girl. We started talking about a month ago, we hit it off well. I knew her for about a year before we started "talking". She has a boyfriend that treats her like shit, and I let her know how I feel about him and her being together. She doesn't even like him but doesn't want to dump him and is going to wait until he does. We really have something special, I dont want to go into too much detail but next time I see her, should I just lay down an ultimatum? I really dont want to waste my time but at the same time, I hate being all "control freak". TLDR- Ultimatum or not? Her or her current boyfriend? Happy Christmas Bladies.
Don't approach the guy man, this is between you and her, and she has that whole thing going on between her and him. Yeah man, tell her you won't wait, and that she needs to make the choice. Don't let her be in control of this dumb situation, she's already screwing you over by staying with this jerk. Tell her you'll take care of her, and everything. And if the guy comes after her and wants to harm her, you better kick his ass and tell him it'll be the end of him if he ever tries it again. I know we're not supposed to talk about violence on here man, but this is something that makes me angry, guys that are abusive to women i have not tolerance for.
The "something special" is important here. If you're banging her behind her boyfriend's back, you don't want her as your girlfriend. If you treat her right, guess what's going to happen? She's going to bang twice as many dudes behind your back when she starts to get bored again. If I'm reading that wrong and you two haven't consecrated the relationship, but you've made it clear you want her, and she wants to stay with the asshole, let her have what she deserves. Either way, if she isn't all over you and ready to leave this dude, you're wasting your time.
QFT! OP, listen; I know you care a great deal about this girl, but I'm telling you, if she's willing to screw over the current bf for you, she will definitely do it to you sometime down the road. This kind of thing is a huge red flag, imo. Trust me, I've been there.
We havent banged yet. She doesnt like cheating. Were fucking close to though. I dont know if I should and ignore her, which isnt like me but I dont want to get too attached and have her just stay with her boyfriend. She is insecure and her boyfriend has her under tight wraps. I think she is more afraid of what will happen than anything. She truly acts like she wants me. Its confusing. I know ultimatums usually don't work but I can only do this for so long before I get hurt. Thanks again! Happy
Ive been there too man but it isn't "quite" like that. Once a cheater, always a cheater imo. But she really hasn't cheated on him, she just is very open with me and I know for sure she wants me. Thats why I don't know if I should be a man and tell her what to do, or be the nice guy and wait for her.
Its not the act its the contents therefore... yes I would. Don't be surprised if she feels guilty (as she.sounds like the type) and tells homeboys and u get woken up with a shotgun. My question is if she's under tight wraps how are u seeing her so often?
The very fact that she holds hands with you and is opening up to you (emotionally) this much is a gigantic red flag. I'd consider it emotional infidelity if I were the bf. You're playing with fire, but it's your life. Selecting a woman who possesses TRUE loyalty attributes is important. You don't want to fall into the trap many of us have and get with a few bad women and then end up damaged for a long period of time getting over it all. That shit can really screw with your self-esteem and make you feel like you're not worthy of anyone. Again, this crap can really bite you in the ass. Don't let your impatience and desperation get you into trouble. My recommendation would be to move on and find someone else; but it is your life.
She sounds like me in high school, I wouldn't dump my gf but told every other girl I was banging that I wanted to and she was a bitch. I was a big asshole and so is the girl that's doing it to you. Everyone on here can't be wrong.
She won't break up with her boyfriend. Sorry but that shows how much she wants to be with you. Is an ultimatum the way you really wanna start building a relationship? And as far as the cheating goes, it's not a matter of how much physical interactions there was. The way I see it she's gotten close enough to you physically and emotionally that you to want to give an ultimatum over her relationship. If that was your woman, there's no way you wouldn't feel betrayed. Therefore that's cheating in my book. Which all goes back to seriously considering the character and trustworthiness of the person in question.
It sounds like you're on the hook man, and if you approach her boyfriend and tell him some bullshit like, "your girlfriend really wants to be with me! you're abusive!" he's just going to be like "Who the fuck is this chump?" I know friendzone is a big buzzword, I don't think you're in the friendzone, more just on a back burner for in case she wants to break up with her boyfriend and have a back-up guy ready to go. Sounds like she's keeping you around as an option but isn't entirely done with her current boyfriend. Basically, I don't think you really know what's going through her head. To be fair though, I'm some random stoner from across the country who doesn't know any of the three people involved
