This is a vent thread, so if you want beef, grab another thread. I am fuckin drunk right now, so this may take a while to read, and comprehend? lol. For those of you who dont know me. I am 21. I am a hard worker, always have been and always striving for bigger and better. I have lived with my Ma since I was 15 or so. After the divorce, there was no way I was sticking with my abusive father. Well my plans were once again shot to shit......again. Well the idea of getting the fuck away from this speeding car towards a wall has been a great one. For years I tried, then failed miserably because my family needed help (My mom and lil sis). As it turned out when I had moved out previously, my mom and sis were eating cheese or mustard sandwiches. So I helped them out, ran out of cash and moved back. 2 years now, this has been going on. Well 2 years ago my mother met a guy whom she fell head over heels with. He was coming out of a divorce, so he didnt get into anything. They stayed friends. After a year, she was fired from her job. They arrested her and charged her with Grand Larceny. Apparently she had been marking shit down, and paying next to nothing for it. Turns out 90% of it was for him. This is when I moved back the second time to help. My sister was out to college, and my mom was unemployed, spending my check on gas to see, guess who. Bills were red slipped. Power guy was hovering our house everyday. But somehow I pulled a dime out of a penny and made shit work. Well now, a year and a half went by. She was crazy in love with this guy, though his feelings were the same and bitter. She would be pissy all day because he would tell her to fuck off, or something that previous night. My car fucked up and was totaled, so I needed a new car for my job. She calls "friend" and he talks her into a V8 car. I wanted to look at a nice Cavalier. 4 cylinder, good on gas. So we get the caddy. She trusts him more then me now. I get the beater and chug on working. About a month after this, he plans to visit my sister at college. He is the "father figure" for her now as well. My sis adores this guy. Well a phone call that night led to my mom all pissy the next day. I asked what happened, and what I heard didnt really shock me that much. He told my mom he has been in love with my sister the whole time. He wants to marry her, have kids etc. As non shocked as I was, I was fucking flabergasted on the next. This is the actual convo from me and my mother that morning: Ma: Well, I think she would be happy. He is a great guy, and he could take care of her. Me: Are you fucking crazy? He is 45, suffered 3 heart attacks. My sister is just turning 18! Ma: Well she would be happy. I would like to see him happy too. Me: You have gone off your rocker mom. You would have never been like this before, what happened? Ma: Nothing happened, this is how I feel. Well he goes to see my sister at college. She breaks his heart (God bless yah sis!) and he fakes a heart attack and goes home. My mom is freaking out, so she drives to his house to wait 3 hours for him to get home. My sister is driving a 20 mile perimeter around campus trying to find him. Meanwhile I am still fucking shocked about the convo from the day before. Fast forward to now. Now its been over 2 years. He is back to talking to my mom again, and she is stupid, again. Here is the kicker. This past December, I broke my leg after leaving work one night. She freaks because I cant pay anything. Well about January 15th, I was about 100% again. I got a start date back at work, I can freaking walk! She gets 2 checks. 1 from insurance for over a grand, and another one from overpaying on my sisters college, 1900 dollars. Now the money is gone. 3000 fucking dollars man!! I asked her about it, and she silences up and says it all went towards bills. She makes 800 a month, why cant that go towards it? Not 1 dollar did I ask her for from that. For christ sakes, I have been selling and trading DVD's and Video games for weed. The money I do get from the games I help her out with it, so she could get me cigs. I payed for my entire time off selling my old shit. When she was fired, she payed for nothing and still did shit, with my money. Well I totaled up all the bills a half hour ago, while she goes to see him. Well if everything was payed 100% there would still be 1000 dollars left. Guess what? Everything is still due, and nothing is left!! WTF? I mean did I not have it hard enough as a child, when my dad beat the fuck out of me? But after escaping the abuse, now I get it again? I want to work hard!, I want my own place, I want to have kids, and chill back after 30 years and retire with my wife. I wont get that though, instead, my life so far has been abuse, and it has fucked my head so I cant turn and leave. I want to so bad. Just pack the fuck up and go back to Baltimore. I have enough friends there, I could crash for a night or 2 and bounce. I grew up there, so I could find a job with no problem. Now the problem is cash. Other people have it bad, I know this. People died in Haitie, Millions are starving. That 3 thousand was a lifeline to getting out of this hole. I could have gotten bills up to date. Done a oil change on the old beater, and made good money with a reliable car. Now, nothing............ I really should say fuck all the movie scripts I write, and write a fucking book. My life is the craziest shit, I would probably make money. Anyways. Leave your comments, bash my parents. Do as you wish. I merely need a vent, and I have calmed down a lot.
Sounds like you need to move out bro. Without you being the sole breadmaker in the house your mom might realize how much she has fucked up and how much your family actually needs you.
3 grand is alot of money to just go missing, especially if it would have paid shit off and helped you out of a hole. your mom seems pretty reliant on you helping her out so if i were you i would cut her off, and let her do with her money as she pleases. thats my 2 cents anyways.
Thats the plan my friend. But now I start back over again to save. Now a days you need atleast a G in your pocket to move a state or 2 over. So thats what I will work for. You always hear DTA. DTA is widely said, and was even made famous by Stone Cold Steve Austin. But when DTA reffers to your own family, that shit sucks dude. I told her a long time ago, I dont trust her with nothing. Guess I should have kept to that.
Damn cuz, didnt read cause that shits long, but im goin to lol.. But whats good with ya? havent seen you in a minute.
Well now that my insurance is with another company I can. Before when I did that, she didnt pay her insurance, and it fucked me up.
you are your own man and have the freedom to do as you choose. if she is really making 800 dollars maybe you should move out and teach her a lesson about money managment. she is a grown adult and you should not need to support her
I think it's time for you to separate yourself from that situation/those people. Sounds like your mother is leading a very unhealthy lifestyle and she doesn't show much promise for change. In fact, she reminds me of my friend's mom who is pretty much worthless, addicted to pain meds, works BS jobs like cleaning apartments and relies on her kids for EVERYTHING.
I am still striving hard for this business. I have employees waiting for a start date etc. If I get it right, I am gone. A nice small place for now, where I can pay everything in a couple days of work, and deposit the rest.
Well good luck, hope all goes well for you. Life is to short to live it under such shitty circumstances.
I know shes your mother and all but if she can't spend the money you loan to her wisely, then you shouldn't give her any at all. I say you support your sister instead and play favoritism for a bit until your mom can become responsible on her part of money transactions.
Damn cousin.. read it and shits tough.. Looks like you just gotta start over, i kno how hard its gunna be but you gotta keep ya head up, stack some money and get the fuck out.. move to baltimore.. maybe once i get my shit straight you can come up to jersey for a bit.. im livin with cousins right now, atleast until i get off probation in december.. Only thing to do is keep truckin, keep that head up and dont let the shit fuck with you mentally.. trust me, life is a mental game, keep your sanity until you can pack up and move out.. cause shit WILL bring you down.. you just cant let it.
Thanks dude. Yeah I think Baltimore would be a good second choice. If this business doesnt get afloat, then I am going back there. I really wish sometimes I could go to Jersey, or New York. You know damn well I would get a bouncer job.
I used to have a guy dating my mom I never liked. Got her into using drugs, and got her to spend money she worked for on him, and a bunch of fucked up stuff like that. I never did anything about it because, my mom cared for him... so I let it slide. One day she called me up from a motel they were staying at, and told me he was flipping out on her and being mean to her, and wouldn't let her leave. Me and a friend go over there... kick in the door, and gave that piece of shit a beating he will never forget. I stomped dudes head in so hard, I don't know how it didn't pop. Blood was coming out of his ears. After that, he left my mom alone, and was never heard from again. I'm not advocating violence, but this man is definitely taking advantage of your mother, and even tried sleeping with your younger sister! You need to stand up for your family, and let it be known shit like that will not be going down under your watch. Reading your story brought up a lot of old memories.
Good for you, man! Sorry things are so terrible for you. You sure seem smart and determined enough to change things, though. Best of luck to ya
You were born into this world without any say in the matter, and thus don't owe your family anything if you don't find value in a relationship with them. It's not your responsibility to inherit their drama. Not that I can tell you how you should feel, but I don't see how anyone with a healthy sense of self-respect would endure this kind of situation.
Hey fox i havnt seen you around in a while. Im sorry this shit is going on, but it will get better. you just need to do what you believe is right for you to do. I would say move out, but i know that would be hard as fuck. I mean your sister seems to be doing fine. she is on her own in college now, but it seems your mom is intent to drag as many people around her down with her. I really hope you will get through this. It takes bad times like these to appreciate the good times later. Im sendin you good vibes and your in my thoughts.