I'm planning on leaving for college soon (pretty far out of state). I am pretty convinced my mother will not be able to function on her own. My father died 10 years ago so it's just my mother and my sister, who is 2 years younger and is pretty much useless. My mother has this uncanny ability to find everything and anyone besides herself to take blame for ANYTHING. This year it's been terrible, every little thing she can turn against herself out of self pity she will. I've developed some pretty nasty anger problems from her and her bullshit. Her expectations change every day so obviously I'm a failure in her eyes. No congrats on applying to college, just a "you're not even good enough for Colorado." She's refused to spent holidays with the family and pouts more than a five year old. I really really can't wait to leave, I'm paying for my own college (she wants to take that money) and as soon as I get out there I'm going to try to declare an emancipation (I know emancipation is under 18 but for the university I'm going to, it's a long story, you have to if you're under 22). Hoping o start a new life on my own but I'm pretty much only coming back for holidays because otherwise that would be immoral... Or something. Anyway, rant aside, I was wondering if anyone else had trouble leaving their parents for college or something because I'm 100% convinced my mother is going to go batshit fucking insane when I leave. tl;dr - mother has problems, has given me massive anger problems, she's going to fly off the handle when I leave
i hate to be harsh but... its either you going bat shit crazy or her. You have a chance of not being so batty and in a couple of years you can get your sister out of that situation...
It kind've sounds like a situation that she needs to be left on her own for a bit. The thing is, you can't move on unless you do move on. In this situation, I don't know why she's become critical of you...but whatever...I'd try to just ignore that. She can't depend on you, you're not the parent. Your staying there is likely enabling her to not move on either...she needs to be put in a situation where she realises that despite any associated difficulties, she can in fact be fine without you there - maybe her not having done this is why she's acting like she is, she's put herself in a position of "ultimate power" as the head of the family....and well, maybe she wasn't cut out for that without turning into a stress bundle. So don't feel bad. Do your own thing. Take it from me, however erratic you feel your mother is, she hasn't got shit on mine...who I am much better friends with since the day I left. So make tracks. Get busy with your life. Visit when you can - maybe she'll appreciate the time you spend there a bit more. I think it's become easy in her eyes to take you for granted.
You need to get yourself away from her as soon as possible as to demonstrate that you're an adult, and you have your own life. It kinda sounds like your mother has become emotionally dependent on you throughout the years what with your dad being gone. My mother was the same way (except with rage aimed at me instead of self pity). Once she divorced my father, she started to turn all of her frustrations outward, and I was the most convenient target. Combine that with alcoholism...Just wasn't pretty. I left as soon as I could, and we actually have a better relationship now because of it.