Top stoner films of all time

I'm sure I'll be leaving out some classics, but here are my top five with reasons why:

1.Grass - The Citizen Kane of stoner films. And much like Kane, it can open a lot of eyes, but barely scratches the surface and hasn't been seen by the vast majority of people some 5+ years after it's release. Because it is my #1, I'll write more on this one than the other four, because the purpose of it was more to inform than to entertain although it is great for many laughs whether stoned or straight. It tells the story of the 20th century war on weed like no other film ever could. The only thing I hate about this film is the first line... "Although people around the world have been smoking marijuana for thousands of years, the custom only reached the at the beginning of the 20th Century..." This is the same damned lie that drug warriors have been pushing down our throats for decades and it is sad that such a great film started on such a false note. "Rosebud" was a much better opening line. But beyond that, this film is the real deal. It would be an absolute masterpiece if Ron Mann would pull a George Lucas and make a prequel called Hemp and re-edit the original classic even if only to cull that ridiculous opening line. I know Woody knows better, so I will move on. I called this the Citizen Kane of Stoner films for a reason. But Grass doesn't even mention W.R. Hearst so I will leave that to Ron Mann, Woody Harrelson and my proposed prequel Hemp, which still needs to be made. I understand that Grass was only an 80-minute film and those 80 minutes were used very well so lets move on. The most disturbing moment in this film occurs when JFK acknowledges Anslinger's service and shakes his hand. Okay Woody, maybe your dad was right to put a bullet in his brain. I'm kidding of course, but people in the know will get my joke. My favorite moment... well, there were way too many. The Vietnam shotgun scene is an eye-popping gem that is impossible to overlook but since JFK was my most disturbing, my favorite was when Jimmy Carter said “I support a change in law to end federal criminal penalties for up to one ounce of marijuana, leaving the states free to adopt whatever laws they wish concerning marijuana.” If only Carter had half the pollen sack JFK had, this film wouldn’t have been necessary. But it was. Actually, I think Reagan and the egg is the best scene in this film. It is amazing. It presents so much footage that I never even knew existed…yet so many stones left unturned. I understand that Ron Mann had to take some precautions. We all do. But I demand a prequel… and a sequel. This could be the greatest saga in the history of motion pictures! Please keep it going.


2.Up In Smoke – Cheech & Chong at their best. I'll try and edit this post with a more complete review later. But this one cannot be denied.

3. Easy Rider - Again it is just too hard to deny this film its due spot on the top 5 stoner films list. This one kind of helped to define what a stoner is. I've got the DVD and I'm eventually going to rewatch and write a better review.

4. Half Baked - This one truly defines what a stoner is. I think pretty much every stoner can relate to at least one of the stoner stereotypes portrayed in this film. Have you ever seen Half Baked... ON WEED? Yeah. You get my drift.

5. Dazed and Confused/Fast Times At Ridgemont High - I just can't decide which one to squeeze onto the list. I just ordered both together on a 2 DVD set from Columbia House. I'll have to wait until it gets here and rewatch them. But I think I'm going to have to give the edge to Dazed And Confused... Mainly because of Slater and the George Washington cult. Man, I didn't have a clue about that until after I had seen this film. But more than a decade later I've done plenty of research and it's true. So in a way, Dazed opened my eyes more than Grass did. It probably should be ranked higher on my list.


Okay so I promised five and listed six. These are some killer flicks. The funny thing is that none of these films visually show you anything that a true stoner would even want to smoke. It is all imagined joints, ditch weed and shake (and let’s not forget that magical concept of “fiber-weed”. But these films wrap your brain around a concept and almost everybody has seen at least two of these films, yet about 37% of them have never even toked. It's all about the concept of getting high. In retrospect, I don't think Fast Times really belongs on the list. But it deserves honorable mention. What other classic stoner films did I miss?

 

Damn. I ain't seen Belly. I'll have to put it on my list of films to check out.