Toking parent needs your advice

Discussion in 'General' started by nilram04, Aug 21, 2008.

  1. Hey Young Stoners,

    At what age should I give my teenager the talk about drugs. Not the talk that I'm supposed to give: You know the government sponsered one that goes like this" Drugs are bad, bad, bad, and you should just say no to drugs and alcohol."

    Rather the one that tells the whole truth about marijuana. My kid asked me last night why is weed illegal. The only reason that she could come up with herself was that it "kills brain cells." (yes, I know better) I've done enough research personally to mount a very educated answer, but it sounds like I'm giving permission to do it when I hear it comming out of my mouth.

    She is a HS junior at a heavily drug tested Cathloic school and at the very LEAST she MUST abstain for that reason ALONE. (No I'm not going to home school her, she's too advanced beyond me)

    I want to wait till college, but I fear that it'll be too late. How should I put the conversation that must make these two points: 1)MJ is relatively begnin when compared to other drugs ESPECIALLY alcohol. 2) You cannot smoke it. Period. YET!

    What do you think? Remember, her smoking weed now is NOT an option. NO WAY. She's got eight miles of hair and they test regularly.
  2. Just tell her that medically, scientifically the risks are there (using your research I am sure you can articulate this point incredibly well), and then explain that while you have no qualms with it, she needs to stay clear of it until she graduates because of her extenuating circumstance.

    Good luck, she sounds smart enough to understand.
  3. I say you do it as soon as possible. Shes getting pretty old already.
    The right age id say would be around middle school. Like 13.
    Im guessing her school is very clean. Well college will probably hit her hard cause thats when alot of partying, drinking, etc is going on. Depending on which college she goes to ofcourse.

    Tell her the truth about marijuana. Also tell her to abstain from drinking and other drugs. If she decides on using it then tell her to be responsible about it.
  4. I think you ought to be very cautious in how you approach this; the main reason being that she goes to a school where they probably teach and exaggerate the dangers of drug use. The problem I see in this is, if you tell her about your smoking habits, she may view you as a "druggie"/addict.

    Does she have any friends who don't go to the catholic school? If so she probably knows the truth about the drug, and understands how it racks up against things like alcohol/harder drugs; and was possibly trying to initate the conversation your now trying to; who knows, she may even know you smoke(assuming you do).
  5. yeah...tell her hat youve put together, but remind her that IF she wants to try it to just wait that little longer until shes out of that school so that she doesnt get expelled

    and one of the reasons it became illegal in the first place was because of cotton:rolleyes:
  6. You need to get across to her that someone can easily live a good life with marijuana as a PART of it. In my opinion i believe some people take it too far and let marijuana take over there life. The chemical THC is not chemically addictive but make sure she knows that the act of smoking can can be addictive just like television or videogames. As long she can balance life and smoking easily she should be good. She seems like a smart girl so im sure she can handle herself in college. Just make sure you smoke with her b4 she goes to make sure she can fully handle herself while high.
  7. This is flawed thinking. Heaps of psychological research has proven that a mature approach to drugs tends to kill destructive habits. Jewish and Italian communities where children are allowed to sip wine at dinner don't see anywhere near the level of alcoholism that the U.S. does. So, the sooner you approach her about this, the better.

    In fact, you probably should have done this sooner. D.A.R.E. teaches kids to distrust their parents, so she may very well turn her nose up at you when you tell her the truth.
  8. Well being the child of a smoker , and someone who also attended a catholic high school i will say this. Talk to her as soon as you can, at my catholic high school they preached and preached and in the long run it led to the kids there to rebel, and try more drugs. Out of a class like 50 people, more than 10 are really bad hard drug addicts at this time. Its sad really because more than likely if the education system would have went about things in an informative manner, instead of a propaganda filled manner(which on a rambling note i CANT stand the fact that religious schools teach there doctrine as fact, i mean i used to have 2 hours of theology a day. How can you teach faith as fact,i just think science and religion need to be more separated than they were at my particular school even if the school is of a religious preference-pisses me off: end rant.)

    Ok i kind of rambled, but i guess the point i am trying to get across is this, TALK TO HER, If shes religious mention that its a plant, and that god said himself that all seed bearing plants are to be used as meat(or something like that.) cant remember the actual verse. Lay out the facts, hell mention lobbyists and oil and why cannabis is really illegal. Mention how Henry Fords original model T was designed to run of a hemp fuel, that he grew the hemp himself on his farm. I dont know man, i think if you guys have a good relationship, you tell her the truth, shes gonna believe you over her school, religious or not. Good luck man. But i guess this whole post is kinda hypocritical cause i smoked against my moms wishes back in highschool, oh well peace out.
  9. Quoted for the truth! Any drug can be used safely as long as the person is responsible enough to educate himself/herself on dosage, symptoms, and pro's and con's before taking the drug.
  10. get her to join GC ! we'll talk to her
  11. i'd tell her either when summer starts next year or when she graduates.

    until then tell her to keep away

    and that it's not worth getting kicked out of school.
  12. Most teenagers want to be adults. In their minds they don't need their parents to tell them what to do, what to wear, to do their homework. They hate having to ask their parents for permission to do anything.

    Teenagers want to be adults, and adults make their own choices. This is why so many teenagers rebel against the (mainly) American anti drug society.

    At my high school, our health teacher straight up admitted to what drugs he has tried. He told us what drugs his friends had done, and what crazy experiences they had. We were made aware of the dangers of drug addiction, and the short/long term effects of different drugs. It was a very fair approach to the subject and there was never really anything along the lines of "don't do drugs", more of just a "know what drugs are" message.

    Back in elementary school, we used to have police officers come in and do presentations strongly against drugs. From what I remember, all they basically said was "don't do drugs, you'll get addicted, you'll die, you'll go to jail, you'll have a shitty life, everyone will hate you". When your that young, they figure they don't need evidence to back up their statements.

    Anyway I don't know what it was with my school. Maybe it was just that teacher, just my school, or maybe it's how all Canadian schools do it? I'm not in Catholic system btw if that makes a difference.

    Point is, I started smoking pot in elementary school because I knew what they were feeding us was BS. I wanted to go crazy. At 13 I was considering trying cocaine and ecstasy. Once I started high school I became a lot more educated on the subject. Weed helped me relax during test/exam time and after doing some research on ecstasy, salvia and mushrooms I decided to give them a couple shots. I did them in moderation and would never let them interfere with my school work.

    A moderate approach to drugs creates moderate users. A serious approach to drugs will create serious users.

    High school would have been, and started out as a hard time for me. From genetics, I had horrible teeth. I actually had a third extra set of teeth. I had braces for my whole high school career. I'm also quite short and look a lot younger than my actual age. I never had a real relationship, and would often watch my friends having fun with girls while I'm just sorta there alone.

    At times I felt suicidal, and I felt like shit.

    Moderate drug use has gotten me thru those years.
    I graduated with an 88% average and got into an excellent school.

    Sorry for the long post. I don't know if I helped answer your question.
    I started rambling a bit.. but that's my story.

    My parents were very anti drug, but honestly, they had no impact on my choices.
  13. ^^^very nice post....why is she in a private school anyway? sorry but im a strong believer in christianity and i hate everything about the teachings of christian schools (like how they tell u to listen to certian music and how ur supposed to act etc.) (from my expierence it leads a lot of ppl to rebel and want to do bad things b/c they've been locked down their hole life) i could write a hole page about how i hate it but this isnt what the topic is. your daughter is a junior in highschool, its about the time i would give my kid the speech (i dont have kids...yet). just tell her what weed realy does and your thoughts from mother to daughter on it.
  14. Yeah, another thing I remember was the Catholic schools didn't let the kids leave the cafeteria during lunch, and they were extremely strict with any truancy.

    My public school was a lot more laid back, which defiantly turned out to be a good thing for me.
  15. Sounds like a pretty strict school... I went to public HS and smoked for my first time at the end of my freshman year, but didn't really start smoking regularly until Junior year. I would say have the talk with her asap. She sounds like a smart enough girl to understand she has to wait and whatnot.
    I would say the ideal time to have the talk is right before HS. My brother is going to be a freshman this year and he is extremely involved in hockey and very good at it, he'll be playing varsity this year as a frosh and he's hoping to play soccer there too so he has plenty to lose if he gets caught. I sat him down last month and basically told him, yeah i smoke (he already knew but it was kinda an unspoken thing) I told him he would get a lot of exposure to weed in HS and he's gonna consider trying it at some point, everbody does. So I told him that when he decides he wants to try it he has to come to me and I'll smoke him up, and he agreed to it. I also explained to him all the effects, and how and why it works, the risks, facts and exaggerations and whatnot, and answered all his questions about it. I think that's one of the biggest things is being there to answer questions. Anyway, it was about i 2 hour talk, we had it around a campfire, i gave him his first cigar, it was a really good talk and i feel a lot better about it seeing as how i know he looks up to me and i really don't want to see him throw his athletics out for weed because I've seen a lot of decent high school athletes give it up for partying.
  16. yea, very true... im a really good example lol. I happen to be jewish and italian (dad 100% italian, mom 100% jewish [and it can refer to ethnicity and culture as well as the religion]) and i was raised very traditional to italian and jewish customs. I've been sipping wine and even beer since i was an infant... I am currently attending one of the top party schools in the country, and i hardly drink. When i do, i drink relatively responsibly. As far as smoking, i would deffinitely make sure to get all the right facts across soon. Regardless of the college she chooses to go there, it will hit her hard; because just about every college campus has a lot of booze and drugs. Even harvard (i know from someone who goes there). College will hit her hard if it ends up being something completely different from what shes expecting (it sounds like college will be WAAAYYY less strict then her HS). You sound educated, so just giver her all the real facts, and she will know you are being truthful, and will take your opinion much more seriously.
  17. Did you send her to such a school?
    Yes, I agree with the others who said you should've talked to her ages ago, like at 12 or 13yo. I learned about cannabis at a very early age, and knew well its benign nature.
    Personally, i would never send my kids to a school with such heinous violations of personal freedoms.
    And, if all schools are doing this sort of thing, well I'm sure glad I haven't had any kids. Of course, I'd homeschool/internet school them in this day and age.
    I am from a parent who is a cannabis user. I also use cannabis. It is a part of our life.
    I am of high (no double entendre meant) IQ, and am a professional person.
    Cannabis is a tonic plant whose only adversaries are those who profit from its being illegal, or those who are brainwashed and ignorant of its beauty.
  18. yo.. most everyone has already started smokin b4 they are juniors.. they usually start as freshmen or sophomores.. she's already late, so just let her find out when she's off at college.. its hard not to find out by urself their
  19. Tell her the REAL reason weed is illegal....

    show her some good research material... that proves that what they teach in school is mostly BS.

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