To the girl I wanted to love

Dear Girl,
I was sad to hear you have a boyfriend.

We met a year ago on a 10 day trip to Israel, and throughout the trip I'm sorry I didn't try to get to know you better. I was preoccupied with taking in the sites and talking to Israeli girls.
After we got back, through some forced social networking, I discovered you had a blog. Like I said, I didn't really know you, but since you seemed to have a good grasp of writing and constantly posted interesting reads I followed every post in my Google Reader. The more I read the more I fell for you. References to Arrested Development, quality taste in music, and a quirky view on Local/National politics really drew me to you.

It helped that you have rather nice breasts, full lips, and creamy skin, but as a young Jewish professional who essentially grew up in my town(the rich side of town, but we share some of the same hangouts I'm sure) we seemed to have a lot in common. We are both musically gifted, you have a beautiful voice(which I did notice on our trip when you sang at the Bedouin tents) and I've been playing instruments since I was 9.

No, I never actually made personal contact once we were back in the states, but I'm a little self conscious and wanted to make sure I was at my best when I did decide to reach out to you.
But I made some effort; I left clever replies on your blog about twice a week. And with the topics you covered and your writing style, leaving clever comments was rather easy and fun for me. I hoped deep down that you'd see these posts and say to yourself, "who is this awesome person who is a loyal fan of my blog and seems to be on the same level as I am?" and then you'd do some quick internet stalking to find out that I was just some guy from your birthright trip and that maybe you'd want to get to know me better.

All hope of this dream becoming a reality was dashed in your most recent blog post when you mentioned something your "boyfriend" said.

Obviously, you have no interest in comments your clever readers make. Obviously you're not in search of someone just like you with similar interests and a similar outlook on life. Maybe you were put off because I smoked a lot of cigs on our trip, but if you had bothered to inquire you'd know that I've made an effort to quit and have cut my consumption by 75% or so.

But this is okay. Maybe we're not as similar as I think we are. Maybe I was hoping so hard that I just thought you were witty, talented, and not at all JAP-y. I bet you've never even smoked weed.

By the way, your accapella group is awful. Your brother, whom you've featured numerous times on your blog, looks like a complete tool/douchebag, and his one man acoustic act sounds like dogs being neutered, but with less tonal quality. Your constant trips to downtown "coffee shops" and "book stores" make you one of those people who like to sit in starbucks with your laptop and blog about willy nilly thoughts while drinking your caramel macchiato.
Good riddance. You'll never know how cool, easy going, down to earth I am; and you're passing up on a great opportunity: if we were to get married, to have a free honeymoon in Israel(cause we "met" on birthright). I'll continue to read your blog because I do enjoy your writing style but you can kiss the comments good bye. Now most of your posts that don't seem to hit home with any of your readers but me will go comment-less.

I enjoyed the fantasy while it lasted, but I hope that when I see you next I'll have my Nobel Prize around my neck and a nice Jewish girl on my arm.
Farewell,
Craiggers

 

yeah I didn't actually send this letter to her, nor do I believe she is a member of this forum(but if you are then you should def let me know!). I wrote this to a)share some of the small heartbreak I went through recently, and b)to help me get into words my thoughts and feelings. I thought maybe there'd be someone on here that could empathize with me?

 

its just what i do. i've really only had 2 gf in my life but i've liked a lot of girls from a far. I really just fall in love with the idea of a girl, not the girl herself and when I do get close enough to engage in a relationship she tends to turn out not to be what I thought she was.

 

k...all good comments.
keep in mind im not actually sending this to her.
the married thing...its not like i wanna marry her, but if we WERE to get married, there'd be an added bonus.
the other stuff is me being spiteful in general.
i'm glad people are actually reading this.