I jus feel like writing. Aight well im feelin pretty good. Shit sucks. Been outta adult ed since last friday, Now seems i can go a nighjt without a fix. I wouldnt get wrecked most night cuz i had adult ed next morning. Now nothing. So i drank like 8-9 beers monday, Drank 2 brews and ate some lortabs yesterday. Today im off that whiskey. Fuckin cant stop. Feel like a drug addict. Hate feeling like i want to do shit but cant. I feel so held back. Want to get my GED, I cant, Want to get my license, Cant, Want to get a job, Cant. Shit blows. In due time everything will be straightened out and ill be happy with my baby girl and my daughter. For now, I feel like a hopless peice of shit from southwest Detroit.
From what i've read man, you've been doing your part.. Trying to create opportunities for yourself instead of waiting around for shit to happen. thats a fuck of a lot more than a lot of my friends could say about themselves
Thas exactly what im tryin. My bro's a few years older then me, Jus say past 24-25. Hes still at home, Sits on his damn ass all day, No girlfriend, No job. He works when my pops got work for him which hasnt been in about a year. And for this contractor we both know which has been shit, 4-6 months since we've had a job with him because hes a fuckin dumbass crack head 40 year old who still lives with his parents. So hes not doin shit. Thats my one motivation. My other is my girl, She motivates me like no other. But i try and i try and i try. Then she tells me, Well when you have a licesne and a job blah blah blah and im like im trying it aient going to happen this second and shes like well... Thas the least of my problems, Those are the problems that keep me sane, She keeps me sane. My house is fucked. So im drunk off close to a fifth of whiskey. So what if ive smoked a few grams in the last hour or so. I do what i do and im trying. But then i feel held down from trying, Then i try to relax by doing this and feel held down from this from feeling addicted then from knowing my girl wants me to quit ect ect cuz she knows ti aient good for me jus makes me feel like a lost cause. Like im never right. Shit blows. Makes me understand why alot of times the first thoughts on my mind are getting drunk that night. Shits redicoulous. This worlds fucked up. Compeltley ass backwards. End of rant.
Dude, you'll make it through this. Don't even worry about it. Once you have a job, you will cut back on drinkin becuase workin with a hangover isnt pretty. Its unbearable.