Tired Of Being Denied...

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by jizzledfreq, Jun 7, 2013.

  1. #1 jizzledfreq, Jun 7, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 7, 2013
    So many times I try to initiate sex, and so many times I'm denied. I'm starting to feel like I'm in some sort of friendzone in my relationship that's coming up on 3 years now. Sex for us is literally a once a month thing, and when we do have sex it usually just feels like she's just letting me have it without actually being into it. She will only do missionary position and cowgirl, doesn't care for me to eat her out, won't give me a blowjob (even on my birthday!).

    Just last night I tried to initiate sex, barely touched her knee, she flinched, and asked me for a back rub (ahí y would only put her to sleep.

    I've talked to her, she seems to acknowledge that she is never horny, but it never gets us anywhere... I'm 24 and I'm constantly horny with absolutely no outlet except masturbation, but that shit gets real old, real fast. There so much I want to do with her, and want her to do with me, but it just feels like I'm on a sinking ship.

    I can break up with her, but that's easier said than done since we have a kid, and I would have nowhere to go. I'm thinking about talking to women at my college when I go back and possibly having an affair.
  2. Have you told her how you feel?
  3. Yeah, she acknowledges my feelings, but we still never have more sex. I try to make herfeel good about her self, but she's such a self depreciating person, massages only serve to make her fall asleep, every part of her body is extremely ticklish, so everything I try to do makes her tense the fuck up, which kills her mood instantly.

    She was down for whatever when we met, and now it just seems like she's out of touch with her sexuality.
  4. Sorry I asked before you finished your post, didnt mean to make you repeat yourself. Have you tried telling her that she's really putting your relationship at risk?! In my personal opinion, you need a healthy sex life in order to have a healthy relationship. It seems like she has almost no interest in sex at all..
  5. #5 Doormouse, Jun 7, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 7, 2013
    holy shit...are you me?
    I'm in the exact same situation. 
    I mean I'm 23, and I'm not thinking roaming college for ass but still.
  6. If it all goes to hell and you have to sleep with someone else, nothing justifies not telling her before you do it.
  7. That's alright, I accidentally hit post, I'm using my iPod to type this. But no I haven't, I feel like its one of those things that would end up backfiring on me, pissing her off, and only prolonging the sexlessness.

    She really doesn't have any interst in sex, it's almost always me trying to initiate or get her in the mood, but denied, denied, denied, denied! I was understanding when she was pregnant, recovering from a C-Section, and breastfeeding. But now it's just getting rediculous...

    I almost feel like she won't do anything because she takes herself so seriously and feels like a whore doing anything but missionary and cowgirl.
  8. #8 Doormouse, Jun 7, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 7, 2013
    I'm following this topic based solely on the fact that you're obviously me from a parallel universe.
    if you find a solution to your problem, for the love of all that is good post it.
  9. Well, it's best to be honest, at least before you go having an affair so you can't say you didn't try your hardest. If for some weird reason I held out from sex from a bf and it was pushing him to thinking of an affair, id want him to tell me. Maybe if you find a nice, caring way to put it.. Explain to her that you love her and your only telling her because you don't want to give up so easily. & if you do want to give up, just tell her, leave and move on. Having a kid doesn't mean you have to stay with her, I have 3 and I'm single.
  10. I think you should tell her that your relationship is at risk if you haven't already. Try something different also, something romantic that will light that spark to get her in the mood when you guys first met. Take her out to dinner or see a show!
    She's a very non traditional kind of girl... and doesn't have the attention span to watch any movie...
  12. If she's not into sex (maybe it's in general, maybe it's just with you, I don't know) there's not much you can do to change her. However, if you guys have a family and both want the relationship to work, she should meet you halfway. If you are accepting her lack of interest, she should also accept your need and either try to satisfy it herself or recognize that you should be allowed another outlet. That said, this sounds like a recipe for a sour relationship, and this could negatively affect the child. If it really isn't working out, particularly if the issues span beyond sex, you should at least consider the fact that children whose parents aren't together can still turn out just fine. I know that if my mom and dad had stayed married, I would probably have had a way worse childhood than I did because they had irreconcilable differences.
    Tho return to your original point, there are many times when no amount of romance or emotional connection is going to make a girl want to jump you, and you need to decide if this is one of those situations and whether you're going to be able to deal with it.
  13. What? Really!? So you guys don't watch movies together? What do you two do that you enjoy doing together?
  14. That is exactly why I stopped trying and decided seperation was what was best for my daughters and I. I didn't want my bad relationship with their father to effect them. My parents constantly put me and my sisters between their marriage problems and I HATE it. I would never want my children to experience any of it.
  15. #15 2Pac, Jun 7, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 7, 2013
    I'm following this topic because you're BOTH me from two parallel universes.
    My girl lost her V to me, and said she was 'addicted' to sex in the beginning, now she just lies there and pretends to fall asleep each night, barely touches me whatsoever, and denies me often. It's been going on for about a fucking year now almost...
    It feels like it's ALWAYS on her terms basically :mad:
  16. do you also have a kid in the mix? If so I think I see a pattern forming here..
  17. OH MY GOD YE... No. Actually. No. 
    2 and half year relationship though. She says she wants to marry me and shit.. Surely we should be having sex more than once every 2-3 months? haha.
  18. legitimately lol'd at that, not sure why.
    But yeah...it's brutal...
  19. whhhhaaaaaaat?! Once every 2-3 MONTHS?! OMG I thought you people maybe meant like once a week or something.
  20. No... I WISH it was once a week. I'm in a similar position to OP though, if I left I'd have nothing to do with my time or anywhere to go, I basically live with her. I've brought it up before and she has attempted in the past, but it always just goes back to lonely nights, using my tears as lube :cry:
    .....Well not really, but you get the jist. Yeah :smoking:

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