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Tips from a Ganja ninja to young grasshoppers. (And a few words on smoking in dorms)

Discussion in 'Apprentice Marijuana Consumption' started by littlecoley88, Mar 27, 2016.

  1. #1 littlecoley88, Mar 27, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2016
    I'm a veteran smoker who sees a lot of new tokers getting caught by family members and cops out of simple negligence. I'm not on GC often, but I'd like to share some stealth smoking advice with people who are new to the magic of weed.

    To be a true Ganja ninja:

    1. Always know the whereabouts and activities of the people you don't want knowing.

    2. Waterfall and gravity bongs are virtually noiseless. If using a waterfall bong, angle the bottle right so water doesn't splash. The only sound should be the flick of your lighter.

    3. When smoking in secrecy, never smoke more than a single hitter at a time. Blunts, spliffs, and other "wraps" are out of the question. So are traditional bongs, which also do not contain the smoke. Even if you can't take a whole hit from a waterfall bong, you can recap it and put your finger over the drain hole to help keep the smoke in the bottle.

    4. USE EYE DROPS. If you hate them you're probably not doing them the easy way. Just hold out your lower eyelid and drop a few into the lid itself. Don't tilt your head back. With the lid holding the drop, just let go and blink. Voila, no more holding a bottle above your eye.

    5. Always use mouthwash if you don't smoke cigarettes and people know it. No point in your breath giving you away after you covered up all the other smells.

    6. Cologne/perfume, always, in addition to room spray and using a sploof.

    7. Hold in the hit as long as you can. A ghost hit carries the least smell. You'll get more tar in your lungs, but it's worth not getting caught.

    8. You're usually better off smoking in a bathroom. Shower steam helps neutralize the smell and you're practically guaranteed privacy for as long as you need it. Plus it makes sense to spray a lot of nice smelling things in there.

    Now for smoking in dorms: realize how risky this is. If you get caught, you're done for. Some colleges are uptight even about lit candles. An out of control fire means potential lawsuits out the ass for the college if students are injured or killed. They will CRUCIFY you if they catch you smoking weed, call the cops, and possibly (probably) kick you out of school. You are better off smoking off-campus. If you insist on smoking in dorms, you need to take every precaution available.

    9. NEVER smoke in your room. If someone so much as catches a whiff of weed coming from your room, congrats, you've given yourself away. Always smoke in a shower or bath stall and bring a towel and shower caddy to look convincing. Ganja ninjas blend in. Go to a different floor if possible but not too far. You want a short escape route. If people ask why you use their showers, just say somebody always shits in the stalls on your floor. They'll take you at your word.

    Wrap up everything you need inside your towel. Don't hide stuff in the caddy, which anyone can look into. ("Hey, why is there a bag of weed stuffed between your shampoo and conditioner?") You can also wear a baggy (BAGGY) sweatshirt to hide stuff in so your towel doesn't look strangely bong shaped. And for the love of god, clean up your ashes.

    MOST IMPORTANTLY: only leave the bathroom when everyone else has cleared out. Even if it means waiting 10 minutes for your roommate to finish taking a strained dump over in one of the toilets, it's better than getting caught. If you walk into someone on the way out, act like nothing's up.

    Also beware of the caretakers/janitors. Know their cleaning schedules. You can't trust them not to rat you out.

    This is how I smoked in college.

    I lived on the 5th floor. When I wanted to get stoned I went down to the 4th, which was reserved for Alpha Omicron Pi members. I could have gone up a floor but I thought it would be hilarious if the uptight sorority girls started accusing each other over the bathroom always smelling like weed. All the girls assumed I was just a fellow "sister" getting ready to hop in the shower.

    There was a separate nook for the bathtub. It was so private it begged to have kids smoking weed in it. I used to wear a huge, baggy ass sweatshirt. It's actually the one I'm wearing right now. I'd hide a Gatorade bottle waterfall bong up one sleeve and throw all the other crap in my towel. I had to listen to a lot of dumb shower talk about who they'd bang from Twilight before I could escape unseen, but escape I did.

    Was my method foolproof? No. But it was good enough not to get caught. Most people don't look past the "obvious" if you put on a good enough show.

    That's all. Good toking to you, enjoy, and stay sharp.
     
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  2. Very COOOOLLLLL!
     
  3. Thanks!
     
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  4. What does it say about the youth of today when you have to give them instructions on how to smoke without getting caught? LOL COMMON SENSE: A thing of the past!! I'm sure there are a lot of kids out there who are very thankful that you took the time to write this!! As for me, I'm WAYYYYYYYYY past the dorm years. But when I was in the dorm and did smoke, I never did it IN THE DORM!!! We always got in my hooptie car and rode around this big lake near the college. When we returned, our mental attitudes had changed considerably...but there was nothing in my dorm room to alert anyone that I even smoked. Again, common sense!! I finished school and got my degree baby....without an arrest record. Happy Friday!! TWW
     
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  5. Can't agree more. I'm not even an "old fart" but it feels like it, when I have to agree that common sense seems to go out the window a little more with every generation. I got my degree in English (semi regret) but at least there were no problems with the law. Hooptie car, lol.
     
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