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Time Grabs You By The Wrist

Discussion in 'General' started by cube*, May 27, 2005.

  1. #1 cube*, May 27, 2005
    Ok, well I just kind of need to vent I guess and I usually go to the city to get me through shit. My parents are getting old, and they had me and my brother pretty late. I remember growing up it was kind of hard for me cause all my friends parents were still (and ARE still) pretty young and shit. Tommorow my brother is turning 11 years old, and my parents are like 56 and 58 i think. My mom is kind of starting to you know... become old. Like just the way shes starting to act and shit it seems like shes kind of starting to lose it. Like shes just kind of wierd sometimes and stuff. My dad is still fine and he's even writing a book and shit and he has the personality of someone who's 18 wich is awesome. My mom is a regular working class hero, she works all week and when she gets home shes always working around the house and it seems like she never has a minute to herself and shes always exhausted. She pretty much likes to get drunk and party on the weekends, and I'm worried cause it really seems like shes just giving up on life or something. I think all this has a lot to do with her 'losing it' or 'becoming old' or whatever. I think even when my dad's like 70 he'll still have his head perfectly together and be just as creative and you know... together. Not all depressed and shit.

    Anyway, what I don't like seeing my parents fucking get old obviously but im also worried about my brother. I think I'm kind of going to have to guide him a little bit because he won't get everything he needs from my mom at least if shes fucking giving up on life and just like...augh i don't know like he's a really sensitive kid and I don't want him to get pulled into all that heavy drug shit that I went through and be all lost and shit and I know he looks up to me a lot and he's well aware that I used to do a lot of drugs. (I'd have huge fights in my house, windows got broken, other shit got broken... people were crying and screaming a lot) you know what I'm getting at. Fuck anyway I'm wondering if you guys think it would be a good idea to make my mom stop drinking every weekend. I really don't think it's good for her head, like just the kind of situation shes in I think her life is kind of like "Ok let me get through this hell and come friday night I can just get wasted and have a ball" you know? I think this because I recently stopped smoking for a while and it REALLY helped my life fall in place. Instead of just being all pasive and kind of lazy I'm going out, meeting people, getting more school done... just getting shit done. I think I'm probably just going to smoke on special occasions or partys or whatever because I think that would be the best for me. Just because I'm me, you know what I mean man? I don't have anything against smoking but in my situation the best thing to do is to not smoke.

    I also think if I told my mom to stop drinking, she might just sit around all weekend watching tv and get fucking depressed or something. At least alchohol gives you a really good time temporarily right? Your garunteed to feel good for at least a while... anyway tell me what you guys think of the drinking thing and have you guys ever been in the same situation as me? Or felt the way I do at all? I don't know I'm just trying to vent and looking for some help or something. Maybe someone to just give me some advice, anything.

    The city has been there for me for a long time and let's see if it still is..(what with all those big members leaving and everything...)

    Thanks.

    Oh and both my mom and my dad blaze but not often I think so it shouldn't be a problem for my mom...
     
  2. #2 dirtybongwater, May 27, 2005
    You are a great person.

    Do you know if your Mother is going through or has gone through menopause? If she has already, does she take hormone pills? If she has and doesn't take hormone pills she should go see her doctor. She needs to balance out the chemicals in her body. If she is going through menopause the same applies. Her body is changing and most women feel such a loss during that tme. She could really be losing it, but the "it" is actually her youth and young adult life.

    If she has already gone through the change and is taking her hormones, then it is more complicated. Can you talk to her about it? Can you ask her if she is feeling depressed? If so I would. I would be there for her. Ask her if there is anything you can do to help her through what is going on, for the whole family's sake. It is so clear that you care and I think she will be humble and flattered that her son is such a grownup! Sometimes Parents just need their kids to be there for them.

    If your Mom is only drinking on the weekends, I don't really think it is a big deal. It is her outlet for a long week. If you think she is abusing alochol that is a different story and I would suggest the same as above. Talk to her. Make sure she is ok (overall). Be there for her needs.

    I think it is wonderful you care for your brother so much. I suggest that you absolutely step in and show him the way. You may not have as many of the answers to life as your Parents, but your gut is telling you your brother needs your guidance. Follow your gut. Teach him to be the responsible young man you have become. You seem to know yourself very well and that is really a feat in itself. We change so much it's hard to keep track of ourselves sometimes. :)

    Let me know about the menopause thing. That could be all it is. She is still going to need some support, but the hormones should help level her 'tude out a bit. :)

    Good luck cube. I really hope everything works out. If it's not weird give that kid brother of your's a hug from me.
     
  3. #3 cube*, May 28, 2005
    I think she has already gone through it because I remember her reading books on it and stuff and like talking about it to my dad a lot a long time ago... maybe not though I'm going to ask my dad about it tonight. As for the drinking thing, she does only drink on weekends but I dont think its in a good way, like she'll just drink a whole mickey of brandy or gin to herself in one night wich isn't that much, but she'll just like stay in her room and write about stuff and like listen to music or talk on the phone or something. It doesn't really seem like she's drinking to party cause she doesnt even do anything, it seems like she's drinking just to like blur her life away.

    I really appreciate you replying to this post and everything you said. Thanks a lot. I also just talked to my dad about it and he says she's really stressed out about her job and it's probably doing something to her head. My dad's first language is french and he says if he's really pissed about something or stressed out for a while he'll even lose his english a little bit... even though he speaks it fluently and doesn't even speak french to anyone. And ya as I said I'm going to find out about the menopause thing and thanks again for everything you said, it made me feel a little better.
     
  4. #4 iKonic, May 28, 2005
    Hey, just stumbled across this thread.. best wishes man, don't get too worried. Seems like your dad knows what's up and doesn't seem stressed about it. Take it as a good sign.
     
  5. #5 hotsauc3, May 28, 2005
    Everyone who's ever had parents knows it's hard to sit around and watch them get old slowly. But life won't change just because we want it to. I think you should take your lil bro under your wing and try to show him the right paths. Your mom and dad still have loads of years under their belt, but as the children age it's our responsibility to help support the family that raised us. Even if it was a time of arguments and drama. I wish you the best of luck man, cause the average hard working human being is a hero on a day to day basis.
     
  6. #6 dirtybongwater, Jun 3, 2005
    Hey cube, How is everything? I've been thinking about you. :)
     
  7. #7 RMJL, Jun 3, 2005
    My parents had me late in life and it was hard on me. My mother pretty much raised me after they got divorced and all throughout my childhood, people thought she was my grandmother. It sucked. My youngest brother is 12 years older than me so he wasn't really around. She never gave me the talks that she should have so I was clueless about a lot that I shouldn't have been clueless about.

    Taking your brother under your wing is a cool thing. If you are comfortable talking to your mother about the drinking then I think you should do it. Life is a lot harder for kids now than it was when I was growing up and your little brother needs to be able to feel like his mother is there for him and cares about him. It seems as though she's mainly concerned about herself and while she does need to do what's best for her in most situations, she brought your brother into this world and in doing so, she accepted the responsilbility of raising him and taking care of him...she can't let him fall between the cracks just because she's older than most parents with kids his age.

    Good luck with all of this...you're a good guy and a good brother!!!!!! :)
     
  8. #8 420420420, Jun 3, 2005
    your in luck i have a time machine
     

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