I am easily one of the luckiest people in the world. I am white, American, relatively attractive, and have a family that loves me. Why? No idea, but I am so thankful for it.
Y A S F S so in other words, if youre not white, american and relativeley attractive, you are unlucky?
Obviously yes. I am so much better off than more than half the world population. Am I better? No. Better off? Yes.
its been like that since i can remember, its just like a part of life now, my little ecstasy phase made it a lot worse but idk, i mean its not like, at the forefront all the time but its always there in the background
I constantly think about the future, my future that is. sometimes I'm so paranoid or anxious about the future that I cant focus on the present or with what dealt with right now.
Lately I've been focusing on what everything I see around me will look like in 100 years, and what this land has looked like in the past. It helps me realize that my life doesn't matter, even though it does matter.
I'm constantly wondering if I'm doing the 'right' things in my life. No matter what I do, it always brings me down knowing that I could be doing better. Gift and a curse I guess
I think about how I got to be where I am today. Not exactly in life but just how I am even alive. Think about it, if one thing changed in the past, a long ago ancestor died or didn't chose to create life with someone else, I wouldn't be here. Makes everyone in the world seem to be a chosen one, because after all it didn't have to be like this.
I'm right there with you. I am constantly thinking about where I fall short. Actually, I was just thinking about it a few minutes ago. My job is to sit in a van and make sure that no one on the roofing crew I'm assigned to gets hurt and to get extra supplies when they need them. That's my entire job. I was just sitting here thinking that instead of taking a nap in my van and posting to GC I could be helping the ground guy with clean up, but I'm not. I also spend a large portion of my day looking inward. For example, if I make the decision to not give a homeless guy a few bucks, I will spend my entire day thinking about what that says about me as a human and how I can grow from the introspection. It's a pretty heavy attitude to carry around all the time, but I think it is probably healthier than the "I don't give a fuck" attitude that seems to permeate western culture.
I always wonder where people are going as I pass them. I wish I could see where they're destination is. Have you ever sat in a parking lot watching cars pull in and out? It looks similar to robots. People going to stores to purchase bullshit items for bullshit reasons.
The only thought that re-occurs to me throughout my daily life is how fleeting life is....and how we only have the moment that we are living NOW and experiencing that to the fullest extent... ....other than that I find that I am glad for me and my family's health because we will all die at some point...so we need to enjoy what we have while we can.
I practice a kind of meditation in order to experience the way I feel in any given moment without pre-conception or thought. But, later I might also spend ages reflecting over why I did not feel like giving or helping when I might've easily done so. I don't judge myself for it, I merely look at myself and my actions honestly to see. I might just as easily reflect on something wonderful, something that just feels so right as well. but mostly I keep my mental activity to a minimum.
I constantly go around thinking how all I see is an illusion. This makes me always touch stuff as I walk around because I think to my self, "eventually my hand is gonna go right through this chair and all my thoughts will be confirmed but until then, wait, where am I going?"
a lot of people seem like they just exist... follow society, fit in, don't ask questions, look cool, buy pointless things, work a stupid job to buy all that pointless stuff... but they never even stop to think