Thoughts on marriage

Its great lol I've been married 5 years but I knew him a lot longer than that. we are like Bonnie and Clyde!

 

And that's one of the differences right there...

J

 

I think just about every aspect of marriage from purchasing rings to the honeymoon and beyond is a large money scam.

That said I have a fiancee who is really fond of the idea of being married to me, and I like her more than I dislike the institution.

 

The thing about thoughts on marriage is that everyone's story is going to be anecdotal.. They are going to try to take the best and worst aspects of marriage and apply that to every marriage that has ever existed, which is not the case at all. Furthermore, different aspects of marriage are going to work differently for different people.

Overall, if marriage works for you, great! But the thing about that is that your going to center on what makes marriage great and leave out what does not make marriage great, again, coming back to people becoming anecdotal with their experiences, which is going to happen, your not really "helping" anyone or "educating" anyone, all your doing is telling your story and i think that is what needs to happen here.. Leave all the advice at the door, leave all the bad thoughts about divorce at the door and just tell your story.

As somebody who has never been married, i would love to read a story of marriage, but please leave the anecdotal bullshit about marriage or even divorce at the door.

As per the question, my personal thoughts? Hard to say, i have saw it keep people together and i have saw it destroy people, so what kind of thoughts could i possibly have with polar experiences like that? I feel if you financially protect yourself from a bad situation, marriage is certainly a option. If you do not protect yourself, i feel like marriage is much less of an option.

 

I recently stumbled across this quote about relationships and really liked it:

“Maybe forever shouldn’t be the explicit goal. Maybe the explicit goal should be in why we might want forever, and how to keep wanting it. What makes a relationship successful is not that it does not end—because hey. They all end, somehow. What makes a relationship successful is how much joy, delight, and victory you can wrestle from the jaws of a less-than-gentle world.”

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

I would almost never marry. Been close a few times but could never do it.

I'd rather both agree to be life partners.

 

I feel marriage is more about the commitment. I agree reciting a bunch of words in front of some government official is a load of crap but it does seal the deal and should make either of you less likely to say "fuck it" when times are tough and walk away. I've been married almost 40 years and have gone through good times and bad. If we were just boyfriend/girlfriend I doubt we would still be together.

 

Been married. To the wrong person. Been in a live in LTR that was like marriage (gay marriage wasn't legal yet). Wrong person. Did years and years and years of soul searching only to find out that I was the wrong person, too. I used to look for relationships for the sake of being in a relationship, and I got with my ex-husband because I wanted to get married and knew he'd marry me. Never again.

I'm sort of seeing a fellow right now (?? kind of in that new, having-great-sex-while-feeling-each-other-out stage) but do know I will eventually want a meaningful connection with someone that I live with on the day-to-day (whether it's him or someone else). If I ever do the wedding thing again, my druthers would be Vegas, with an Elvis impersonator. Did the big fairy princess monstrosity, not going to do it again, thank you very much. What an expensive joke that was.

Also, relationships aren't purchased or picked out, like produce. They're grown.