thoughts on Lending money

Discussion in 'General' started by windowless, Aug 10, 2012.

  1. So there was a thread taht got delted why i was replying to to it

    This is what I planted to write, and i liked the thought so wanted to see opinions. I'll tak the posters name out since it serves no purpose in this context

    If this were rational advice for every situation, ever ... we'd be in an eternal stone age.

    Lending and trade ... two pillars of creating real wealth, that is, they achieve more efficient utilization of resources than could be realized without.

    Not that it's bad advice for some people, some times.

    Discuss. :smoke:
  2. Money and blood don't mix like two dicks and no bitch
    Find yourself in serious shit
  3. Wasn't that thread about fronting money to his dealer or something like that? If so I would never front money or lend money to someone I didn't fully know and trust, but family members and friends I'm okay with..I don't know what that poster was talking about, he must of gotten ripped off by someone pretty bad.:p
  4. I honestly think lending money is ok. Just not large sums of money like $900 unless your pocket/psyche can take that fat ass loss. It's all about trust. And if someone dares break the trust/friendship over money then they were a shit person in your life
  5. Half the time loaning to friends and family goes well. The times that it does not work out is hell. The statement above about money and blood is correct. Save yourself a headache and avoid it whenever possible.
  6. i was trying to free the ideas from the context of anyone's personal drama ... buuut it was a dood that lent a chick he liked some cash and wants it back for a werked stem8 :smoke:
  7. I don't trust anyone but myself. Unfortunately, I'm a very kind person and tend to give in when people beseech me. However, that is only because some people have genuinely pure incentives as opposed to those who are untrustworthy and corrupt. My motto is "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I help those in need because If was in a serious bind and needed the cash, I would like for someone to be empathic as I was with them.
  8. Lending money is a helpful thing to do, and helping people is generally good.
    It's the underlying, usually subconscious, power games that get played and the possible results that makes it a tricky situation to put yourself in.
  9. I used to agree wholeheartedly but now belive truly good relationships between truly good people simply can fall apart quickly with escalating feelings over money. Access to money is survival in the society we've created so it's literally dealing with the survival instinct.

    Maybe I only know shit people. :eek:
  10. So is the takeaway to not play the power games, or play them really well?

  11. The choice is yours, but the real takeaway is to recognize the power games so you can act or react accordingly. I learned a lot about this reading the 48 Laws of Power. I'll go try to find that part in the book and streamline some of that info here for you guys. It's useful shit just to equip yourself with for awareness.
  12. #12 InitialToke93, Aug 10, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 10, 2012
    I would lend money to my mum or dad any day of the week ,But fuck lending money to my brothers or sisters there way to fucking sketch.

    I lent 10k to my oldest sister a year or so ago and can say ill never see that money again although i don't really care that much since she really needed it.
  13. I would never.

    If I were to though,I'd want some collateral that the person values until they have my money.
  14. What is offered for free is dangerous- it usually involves either a trick or a hidden obligation. What has worth is worth paying for. By paying your own way you stay clear of gratitude, guilt & deceit. It is also often wise to pay the full price-there is no cutting corners with excellence. Be lavish with your money & keep it circulating, for generosity is a sign & a magnet for power.

    In the realm of power, everything must be judged by its cost, and everything has a price. What is offered for free or at bargain rates often comes with a psychological price tag-complicated feelings of obligation, compromises with quality, the insecurity those compromises bring, on and on. The powerful learn early to protect their most valuable resources; independence and room to maneuver. By paying the full price, they keep themselves free of dangerous entanglements and worries.
    Being open and flexible with money also teaches the value of strategic generosity, a variation on the old trick of “giving when you are about to take.” By giving the appropriate gift, you put the recipient under obligation. Generosity softens people up-to be deceived. By gaining a reputation for liberality. you win people's admiration while distracting them from your power plays. By strategically spreading your wealth, you charm other courtiers, creating pleasure and making valuable allies.
    Look at the masters of power – the Caesars, the Queen Elizabeths, the Michaelangelos, the Medicis: Not a miser among them. Even the great con artists spend freely to swindle. Tight purse strings are unattractive-when engaged in seduction, Casanova would give completely not only of himself but of his wallet. The powerful understand that money is psychologically charged, and that is is also a vessel of politeness and sociability. They make the human side of money a weapon in their armory.
    For everyone able to play with money, thousands more are lockied in a self-destructive refusal oto use money creatively & strategically. These types represent the opposite pole to the powerful, and you must learn to recognize them-either to avoid their poisonous natures or to turn their inflexibility to your advantage:

    The Greedy Fish. The greedy fish take the human side out of money. Cold and ruthless, they see only the lifeless balance sheet; viewing others solely as either pawns or obstructions in their pursuit of wealth, they trample on people's sentiments and alienate valuable allies. No one wants to work with the greedy fish, and over the years they end up isolated, which proves their undoing.
    Greedy fish are the con artist's bread & butter: Lured by the bait of easy money, they swallow the ruse hook, line, and sinker. They are easy to deceive, for they spend so much time dealing with numbers (not with people) that they become blind to psychology, including their own. Either avoid them before they exploit you or play on their greed to your gain.

    The Bargain Demon. Powerful people judge everything by what it costs, not just in money but in time, dignity, and peave of mind. And this is exactly what Bargain Demonds cannot do. Wasting valuable time digging for bargains, they worry endlessly about what they could have gotten elsewhere for a little less. On top of that, the bargain item they do buy is often shabby; perhaps it needs costly repairs, or will have to be replaced twice as fast as a high-quality item. The costs of these pursuits-not always in money (through the price of a bargain is often deceptive) but in time and peace of mind-discourage normal people from undertaking them, but for the Bargain Demon the bargain is an end in itself.
    These types might seem to harm only themselves, but their attitudes are contagious. Unless you resist them they will infect you with the insecure feeling that you should have looked harder to find a cheaper price. Don't argue with them or try to change them. Just mentally add up the cost, in time & inner peace if not in hidden financial expense, of the irrational pursuit of a bargain.

    The Sadist. Financial sadists play vicious power games with money as a way of asserting their powre. They might, for example, make you wait for money that is owed you, promising you that the check is in the mail. Or if they hire you to work for them, they meddle in every aspect of the job, haggling and giving you ulcers. Sadists seem to think that paying for something gives them the right to torture & abuse the seller. They have no sense of the courtier element in money. If you are unlucky enough to get involved with this type, accepting a financial loss may be better in the long run than getting entangled in their destructive power games.

    The Indiscriminate Giver. Generosity has a definite function in power: It attracts people, softens them up, makes allies out of them. But it has to be used strategically, with a definite end in mind. Indescriminate Givers, on the other hand, are generous because they want to be loved & admired by all. And their generosity is so indeicriminate and needy that it may not have the desired effect: If they give to one and all, why should the recipient feel special? Attractive as it may seem to make an Indiscriminate Giver your mark, in any involvement with this type you will often feel burdened by their insatiable emotional needs.

    It gets a lot deeper into historical observances and interpretations and lessons, but I can't find the rest transcripted anywhere on the internet and I really don't feel like typing all that out from the book itself, but there's some quality info above that should leave you a slight bit more knowledgeable than you were before you read it :smoke:
  15. Family most definitely. If I don't get it back, not a big deal, after all. They are family. I have a couple close friends who I'll lend money, they usually get me back by next pay day

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