Thought Police

The other day I was looking for the location of my firefox cache, so I went onto google and typed it in. During my search for the cache, I stumbled on a forum, where one of the members was telling the OP of the thread, that he shouldn't be trying to find out what his kids are looking at on the internet, because it is none of his business.

Obviously, the commonly held perception is that 'of course it's my business I'm their dad'. However, when the member started to make his case, I began to really see his point. What he said was that by controlling/policing where your kids can and cannot go on the internet, you are efectively telling them what they are and are not aloud to think about, instead of instructing them and trusting them to make their own decisions.

What this member said, is that by thought policing your children you are removing their ability to think for them selves, and depriving them of their ability to learn, and mature. What this means is that as the children grow up and mature, they do not know how to make decisions for themselves, and can find it difficult functioning in ordinary society. (i'll come back to this point later)

Any how, I suppose the reason why I found this interesting is that I grew up in a house where my dad firmly believed in thought policing, and it was taught from the front of our church as well. Fortunately, my mom believed in my right to be who I wanted to be, because I often put up a fight when somebody tried to tell me what I can and cannot think about.

I suppose I learnt at a young age, how to mimic ordinary thinking, even though I didn't ever give up on non ordinary ideas, even when my teachers would make me stay after class all the time. Basically, even though I could never get ouside aproval, all I did was internalize it, and day dream. But I found it hard to make friends with most other kids, because I had a lot of ideas that they weren't aloud to think about.

Anyways, by the time I hit junior high, and we got a computer at home, I needed to have the internet. My parents were strictly against it because of all the porn and bad things that we could look at, but I really could give a rats ass what they thought. So I went down to our local library where they had a computer with unrestricted internet access. I then downloaded a key logger, logged their password, bought a modem, and came home, plugged it in, connected the phone cable, and voila.

After a few days, and a few missed phone calls, as well as the famous modem noises when they picked up the phone, they came and asked me what gives, how come we have the internet. We aren't supposed to. I told them I got it through school and they are monitoring it.

They said no. No internet. Never. I said oops sorry won't happen again. next day same thing. So they hid the phone cord, and I found it. They threatened me. I told them I was very sorry. Anyways it went on for probably 3 years where I had internet (through various passords) and they just couldn't stop it.

Now I wasn't looking at porn all the time on there. Sometimes it was playing video games. And others just looking up whatever I damn well wanted.

I guess I had a spirit that couldn't be snuffed.

Another one of the families that went to the same church as me, also were very for thought policing. They weren't aloud to watch most hollywood movies, and their TV was generally off, unless supervised. When I'd go over to their house, and bring a movie from mine, their parents would make us shut it off if they heard somebody say 'shit'. (my parents would let it go if it didn't happen often, although they wouln't let us own it).

Anyways, I'm sure I was a bit of a 'bad influence' on the kid from that family, because if he was hanging out with me, he was getting an ear full of ideas and thoughts, that he likely wasn't aloud to have. However, we'd always have to make sure that his little brother wasn't around because he'd rat us out (just like my older brother).

Anyways, when I hit the age of 17 I told my dad to cram it up the ass and moved 1700 kms away to a different city where I took my university, had sex, drank a lot, and smoked weed. However, after coming home for a christmas, they dragged me to one of their youth retreats so that I could get a free ride home.

While I was there the youth pastor let us know how if we have premarital sex God will not allow us into heaven. So all that weight came crashing back down on me. And when I got back home I dumped my girlfriend. (one of the hottest girls I've ever known) And I moved in with some church friends from that youth camp.

At first I figured ok, no more sex no more drinking no more weed. I'm set. I'm going to heaven. But after like 2 months of hanging out with the church guys I realized hey. They are fucking brain dead. They don't know how to socialize, they don't do anything but play computer games, and talk about movies they watched, and nobody want's to hang out with us here.

Just as I thought that my ex called me and wanted to hook up, but I was like yeah I'm sorry I was such an ass to you. and then she was like, yeah you were, I never want to see you again, and she stopped answering my phone calls.

Thats when I dropped out of university and ended up loosing a few months to depression, gained 40lbs, got a sprained back muscle from the stress, quit my night job and moved home.

After about a year back at home, i realized how much I hate being around my dad again, and then realized never again will I let somebody else do my thinking for me.

I moved back to calgary finished my school, but still had relationship problems ever since (still do) because of how hard that break up was for me.

Now I have moved back home again, but under different pre-tenses. When I got here, I had a job lined up with a good corporation which was owned by the father of my old friend back in school (the ultra control one). When I got here I came highly recommened from my last job, as I was becomming a candidate for CEO, and had the support of the sales manager, and sales team, the marketing team, the engineering employees and the production staff. (it's not like I was going for the job, they just were supporting me because they liked me better than the guy who was running it)

Anyways, the actual CEO got miffed that everybody was backing me for his job, (and the sales manager doing it blatently) so he started hiring other people to do my work. So rather than fight in the mud with a pig, I told him to shove it and went back here.

When I got here, my friends dad had hired a professional engineer to over see the company, and mentor me. However, when I emailed him some of my ideas, he didn't reply. So when we sat down at the interview so that he could actually hire me. His first question to me was, "Are you a flake?"

I was a bit dumb founded, and I'm pretty sure I avoided answering his question outright, by asking him what he meant by that. And he said he was floored by the email I sent him, and that he would give me a chance, by hiring me on at the bottom of the company.

At this point I had no choice so I said ok. And went to work gluing, sweeping, shrink wrapping, and whatever else a new hire will do in a manufacturing environment. So when he came around he first asked me, so I'm a professional engineer, do you see any processes that can be improved. So I emailed him that I could set up a database and bar code system in order to monitor inventory and track production. Which could also be used for setting up an online catalog.

He didn't like that. He wanted inside the box ideas. He wanted, you could have less glue added to the stuff your gluing. Or more brooms in the broom closet. Or something obvious and stupid. Not useful and creative.

Anyways the next day as I was sweeping he came around and muttered to me, I bet if you could you'd sweep me right out of here. I just looked him in the eye. Your damn right. and he literally stomped his feat and said humph, and waddled away.

Guess what. I got fired.

So i tried another one of my friends dad's corporations, thinking that it was just this moron of a CEO. Nope. Got fired their too. And surprise suprise, nobody had their own thoughts there. Not a one. They were parrots. (ok there were two guys that smoked dope and they never got promoted never got any of the perks that they other guys got, never got sent to any of their trade schools. Basically shafted).

After I got fired there I set up a meeting with my friends dad, and we chatted and I asked him how he could treat his employees like this, being a christian and all, doesn't he know that money is the root of all evil? What he said was, do you agree that Joseph typifies jesus?

I said yes, he was sold for silver just like jesus was and their are other similarities (not going to get into that to much further) so he said good you see that ok. in the old testiment when Joseph was in charge in egypt, and there was a famine, he told everybody that if they didn't have money he'd take their land, and if they didn't have land, he'd take their cattle, and if he didn't have cattle he'd take them as slaves.

At that point I got an idea of what it takes to be a multi-millionaire. And I thanked him for his time.

Actually when my dad got promoted to a managment position, he went out for dinner with my dad and gave my dad some pointers on managment. And this is what my dad came back with from that dinner, in the old testiment when the Jews were inslaved by the Egyptians, they had task masters, that when they complained their task masters would double their work load, while not supplying them with any more materials. He told my dad, that's what managment is, you have to make things harder for them, in order to cut the bottom line.

Now if your following this whole story there is a bit of biblical irony to this whole situation. If your remember that I used to hang out with this guys kid, and my friends kid brother would always tattle on us? Well little brother is all grown up now. And he moved out to edmonton (around the same place as me), and actually came back at the same time as me.

Except he came back because he couldn't handle working at the resturant he was at, because all the people used bad language and swore. He said he was a christian and he wasn't going to put up with that, and he came home. so when he was home, he came and worked with me while I was working for his dad. And while I was doing something he came over to me, and told me that he didn't apreciate the language that I was using.... And I hadn't said anything in like an hour. I looked at him, in disbelief told him I didn't say anything... in fact nobody said anything.

and then the next day the guy didn't show up to work. And actually hasn't held a job, because he's too paranoid.

Remember in the bible the pharroh wouldn't let the Isrealites go? What happened to him? His first born son was taken by god. Well... It looks like he wanted to be pharroh so much, he seems to be getting his wish.

Actually in the winter this same guy had come over to my house because his parents weren't home and he was scared to be home alone. So we had supper, and he contemplated sleeping on the couch. Until he braved it and went home. The next day he drove to the city in a blizzard, and ran out of gas, so he jumped out of his car and tried to walk across a field, until he got snow blind, in -40C.

I asked him if he heard the frozen voice. He said that he did hear something that ran him around in circles. I just told him he was lucky to be alive.

 

I just thought I'd share that with whoever cared to read. I'm sure I could have made my point other ways, but personal experience is very hard to dispute.

I think that the Hempress is right that there is some need for nosiness with your kids, just try to make sure you leave room for them to make mistakes. I think you need to know when to change habits, if you notice bad ones forming. But it's way better to let them master their own destiny, whenever possible.