I found this on this website my cousin sent me. sweet17: Hi Bloodninja: hello Bloodninja: who is this? sweet17: just a someone? Bloodninja: A someone I know? sweet17: nope Bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me? sweet17: well sorrrrrry sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you Bloodninja: why? sweet17: nevermind your an jerk Bloodninja: Hey wait a minute sweet17: yes? Bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid sweet17: paranoid? Bloodninja: yes sweet17: of what? sweet17: me? Bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding. sweet17: LOL Bloodninja: Don't f**king laugh at me! Bloodninja: This s**t is serious! sweet17: What are you hiding from? Bloodninja: The cops. sweet17: gimme a f**king break Bloodninja: I'm serious. sweet17: I don't get it Bloodninja: The cops are after me. sweet17: For what? Bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states sweet17: For??? Bloodninja: It's kind of embarrasing. Bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey. Bloodninja: Hello? sweet17: You are f**king sick. Bloodninja: Send me your picture. sweet17: why? Bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them. sweet17: One of what? Bloodninja: The cops. sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you Bloodninja: Then send me your picture. sweet17: hold on Bloodninja: Hurry up. Bloodninja: Are you there? Bloodninja: F**k you, cop! sweet17: Hey sorry sweet17: I had to do something for my mom. Bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me. Bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities. Bloodninja: Weren't you!? sweet17: thats not it Bloodninja: Then what? sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty Bloodninja: Most cops aren't sweet17: IM NOT A F**KING COP YOU A**HOLE! Bloodninja: Then send me the picture. sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail? Bloodninja: Just send it through here. sweet17: alright *PIC* sweet17: Did you get it? Bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking. sweet17: That was me back in may sweet17: I've lost weight since then. Bloodninja: I hope so sweet17: what?!? sweet17: that hurt my feelings. Bloodninja: Did it? sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now. Bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture? sweet17: yes Bloodninja: Alright let me find it. sweet17: kks Bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC* sweet17: this isn't you. Bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't! sweet17: You don't look like that. Bloodninja: How the hell do you know? sweet17: cause your profile has another picture. Bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake. Bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops. sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol Bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy.... Bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries. sweet17: Go f**k yourself Bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture Bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week. sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture. sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me. sweet17: you hurt me. Bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me? sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me! Bloodninja: Why would I do that? sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you Bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap.. sweet17: F((K YOU!!! Bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs. sweet17: You're a F**KING A**HOLE! sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me Bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry. sweet17: No you aren't Bloodninja: You're right. I'm not. Bloodninja: HAARRRRR! sweet17: I'm done with you Bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry. sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore Bloodninja: Wait a sec Bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot. Bloodninja: Wanna start over? sweet17: No Bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty sweet17: You'll what? Bloodninja: You heard me. Bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty. sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture Bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty? sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes Bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men. Bloodninja: I get excited in different ways. sweet17: Like what? Bloodninja: Do you really wanna know? sweet17: I don't know Bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no. sweet17: I'm afraid to Bloodninja: Why? sweet17: cause Bloodninja: cause why? sweet17: well lets see sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you? Bloodninja: Nope sweet17: well its strange to me Bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to sweet17: I didn't say that Bloodninja: So is that a yes? sweet17: I guess so. Bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though. Bloodninja: Are you willing? sweet17: What do you need me to do? Bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate. sweet17: ??? Bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!" Bloodninja: ok? Bloodninja: Hello? sweet17: You can't be serious Bloodninja: Oh yes I am! Bloodninja: It's my fantasy. sweet17: this is retarded Bloodninja: Do you want it or not? sweet17: Yes I want it. Bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me? sweet17: sure Bloodninja: Ok. Here we go. Bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs. Bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them Bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty. Bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth c**t. sweet17: mmmm yeah Bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp. sweet17: Har Bloodninja: You gotta do better than that! Bloodninja: Your picture was really bad. sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR Bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke. Bloodninja: I softly suck on your cl*t bringing it in and out of my mouth. Bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose. Bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity. sweet17: mmmmmm you are good Bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder Bloodninja: going limp sweet17: HARRRRRRR Bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands. Bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth. Bloodninja: going limp sweet17: this is stupid Bloodninja: ...still limp Bloodninja: Do it! sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR Bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your a**hole. Bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass. Bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass. sweet17: WTF?!?!? Bloodninja: They stink really bad. sweet17: OMG STOP!!! Bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass Bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg. Bloodninja: I ram it up your ass. sweet17: YOURE A F**KING PYSCHO!! Bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head. Bloodninja: And turn you into a f**king candy apple... Bloodninja: I kick you in the face! sweet17: F**K YOU A**HOLE!! Bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin... Bloodninja: Your parrot flys away. Bloodninja: ...going limp again. Bloodninja: Hello? Bloodninja: Say it! Bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
Bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp. sweet17: Har Bloodninja: You gotta do better than that! Bloodninja: Your picture was really bad. sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR My personal favorite part.
Thanks for all the complements, lol. I have just got done smoking 9 hits from my mini bong and good shit from my new connect. So this is what the typical pot smoker would post when high.
funniest thing ive ever seen on GC by far hahahahaha Bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass. Bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass. sweet17: WTF?!?!? Bloodninja: They stink really bad. sweet17: OMG STOP!!! Bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass Bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg. Bloodninja: I ram it up your ass. sweet17: YOURE A F**KING PYSCHO!! Bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head. Bloodninja: And turn you into a f**king candy apple... Bloodninja: I kick you in the face! sweet17: F**K YOU A**HOLE!! was my personal favorite lol
I love these. ima throw down a few personal faves of mine hahahaha Bloodninja: Wanna cyber? DirtyKate: K, but don't tell anybody ;-) DirtyKate: Who are you? Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot Bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm. DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car.. Bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order DirtyKate: Haha! OK DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce. Bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want? DirtyKate: I want everything, baby! Bloodninja: Is this a delivery? DirtyKate: Umm...Yes DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower... Bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house. **pause** DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up! Bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza. Bloodninja: I'm on my way now though **pause** DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now. Bloodninja: How did you know? Bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table. Bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven DirtyKate: ooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby Bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom? DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself. Bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door.... DirtyKate: What the fuck? DirtyKate: You perverted piece of s**t DirtyKate: F**k ----------------------------------------------------- Bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you. j_gurli13: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u. Bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure. j_gurli13: haha, ok lets go. j_gurli13: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck. Bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory. j_gurli13: haha, ok, u know that turns me on. j_gurli13: i start unbuttoning ur shirt. Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts. j_gurli13: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game. Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f**king charge your ass. j_gurli13: stop, cmon be serious. Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass. Bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet. j_gurli13: thats it. Bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn. Bloodninja: F**k am I hard now. -------------------------------------------------- Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right? J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie. Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg" J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and shit. You know, rollin with tha homies and shit. Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun? J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns. Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun? J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby. Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun". J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big. Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do? J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something. Partner6: It likes that. J-Dogg: aight. Partner6: Keep talking to me baby... J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently. Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like. J-Dogg: I unzip my pants... Partner6: Yes, show me what you got. J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts... Partner6: WTF?! J-Dogg: Oh s**t, I meant, your schlong! your schlong! Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only f**k women... J-Dogg: S**it just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed! Partner6: You dips**t. J-Dogg: I whimper to myself... J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.
This whole conversation was ridiculously funny. "I pry apart that battleship you call your ass." That was great.