this makes me uncomfortable

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by engaged44, Dec 29, 2012.

  1. So i've known my girlfriend for over a year and have been dating her for almost a year.

    she used to be with some guy that she occasionally hooked up. she wasn't sure if she could be in a relationship with me because of him, but ultimately chose me.

    this guy is part of her close friend group. her girlfriends and her hang out with him all the time. apparently though, this guy told my girlfriend at the time that he was BI, but she said he's becoming gayer and gayer. He even has the gay accent.

    I've met him before and drank with him and thought he was gay.

    These friends are all her friends from home. This guy she used to hook up with always is the only guy who hangs out with her girlfriends at home.

    -When I first met him he was uncomfortable because he wasn't used to her having a girlfriend because he used to hook up with her.
    -As time went on he told her that I am a cool guy and he says he wishes I wasn't so cool because she chose ME over him.

    Whenever college break comes though for my girlfriend and I, we are apart because of distance. She will hang out with him and her other girlfriends.

    Of course they are never alone. I also check her texts (we both check each others) and theres never anything sexual. In like April or May he would text her until he went to sleep. He always initiated it, but I told her it was making me uncomfortable so she told him to stop and since then he never really has.

    I don't know. I told her about how it makes me uncomfortable, but this guy hangs out with her best friends. They are all girls. He doesnt really have guy friends.

    I told her it's not a deal breaker, but its annoying. Also I understand I can't change her friends and I can't pick who she hangs out with. She knows it annoys me and will tell me anything about when she will be hanging out with this guy and won't hide anything.

    What do you guys think? it's annoying...but it all comes down to trust. I told her it's been too long to not trust her. It's not a deal breaker, but it's a little thing that makes me uncomfortable.
  2. He's gay so theres nothing to worry about. Show a little jealousy but don't go over board because she will think you're insecure. There isn't really nothing you can do about it so just play your position. Trust her and show that you do trust her so she can know not go fuck up.

    But like I said before he seems pretty gay so I wouldn't worry about it
  3. I think if your girlfriend says something to this guy, that it makes you uncomfortable and such, maybe they'll tone it down a bit. And reallly, just be honest with your girlfriend and say you respect her having a friend and all, but you don't like just how much they hang out and things he says. If she loves/likes you enough, she will respect that. It's not fair to make her lose a friend but it isn't fair for her to be constantly around him and making you uncomfortable.
  4. i know i have nothing really to worry about. it's shes out with him and it DRIVES me insane. she knows it too.
  5. Your playing it good dude. Thats a change around here man +rep
  6. Hey man atleast you're being honest and it really seems like you have a good chick too. I would trust her, she seems like a decent person
  7. hey man, at least you're not me

    my best friend, and my ex, and me were all molested by a gay dude in a hot tub once
  8. shes at his house now...with all her friends. but its like killing me.
  9. I don't distrust somebody unless they give me a reason too..Once the reasons start popping up though, everything seems to kind of fall into place pretty fast.

    I think you need to find out if your sense of being uncomfortable is mainly stemming from your GF, or the dude..It sounds like you don't wanna trust the guy at all and being competition for your girlfriends affection screams that the dude isn't gay.

    I don't like dudes who pretend to be gay to fuck woman.

  10. well i think what makes me uncomfortable is because she didnt want to date me orginally because of him and then like gave up on him.

    i don't know. im being really short in texting her but to being a dick. i want to make it known i dont like this, but not be an asshole about it.
  11. Obviously texting the girlfriend isn't working and trying to control your girlfriend is only going to make her lash out and cheat, if she has the support of her friends, which if he's there and hes not gay, which it doesn't seem like he is, would be an awsome chance to prove to all his little friends hes not a homo.

    I would confront this dude, he sounds like a fuckin' weasel..Your GF is doin' all the right things it sounds like but like you said this whole situation just doesn't seem right, it doesn't really seem like the full story is out, right?
  12. I say you find some cool chicks that blaze or some shit to chill with. Make her feel what you feel bro

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