Three years ago, I suffered a very painful breakup and swore off dating. Long story short, I had an affair with another woman. The affair was about a month long, but a year after calling it off, my girlfriend at the time found out. Ever since I broke that womans heart and betrayed her, I figured I was not a good person to be with. I've slipped into states of depression at times and have lost my confidence and flat out desire to find anyone. This all happened in high school, but I'm still scarred by all of it. It hurts me and has destroyed my love life. However, the woman I had an affair with is now back in my life. I must be honest, during the time I was sneaking around with her, I began to fall in love with her. Her and I have always had this chemistry between us and never really had closure. Now, after not seeing her for over three years, she comes back into my life and the feelings I once had for her suddenly came back. The true problem lies here - She feels the same way. However, before we stopped talking, she was leaving for school happily with her boyfriend, who she has been dated up to this point. They recently broke up because they never see one another, and this opened up a flood gate. Since then, we've been hanging out and going back to where we left off. Well, everything has been great until today. I stayed over at her house last night and just talked the whole time. She told me she loved me and I could only hold her and smile. Last night was one of the best nights I've had in years. But, she met up with her ex today and I guess they had a few exchange of words. I asked her how her day was going and her reply was "I have broken his heart and his trust. I'll never forgive myself. I love him with all my heart. I'm such a fuckup." I understand this is very hard, and I can only sympathize and try to be there for her. But, everything we had has been thrown out the window. I guess it was just a spark to her. She is in love with him and just got confused I guess. This has crushed me. My emotions are scrambled and I feel more lost than before I got in this mess. I love her, and just want to see her happy. Even if I'm not in the picture. One thing I do know, this is a good reminder for why I don't get involved in relationships.
man, thank you so much for reading. This next bowl won't be so lonely. I'm just lost. She wanted to see where we could go. But, her heart lies with him. I can only imagine what she is going through. I want to call her, but I know she needs the space.
Well anyone who is willing to be the other woman isn't somebody you want to date. They aren't trustworthy. And if they're ok with you cheating on your girfriend that should tell you something about their character.
WHOOPS, ignore that post. I thought this was about getting involved like, getting into a relationship. If you are ever fucking OPP, you should NEVER allow yourself to get emotionally attached or involved. They are cheating on who they are with, what do you think will happen with you?
And tell you much more about mine. Maybe you're right. Perhaps I'm not thinking with a straight mind for once. Ugh, I just can't believe this happens when I finally start coming out from under the rock.
Don't let this discourage you. You obviously feel bad and I don't think you'll do it again. Go find a nice girl. A new girl. Stay away from girls that are willing to be the other woman, you don't need that in your life. No one does really.
It's tough. I've been thinking of her constantly and just want to call her. I wish I could build up the courage to go out and meet new people.
You have to meet new people. You guys can never be legit because of your past. You need to meet new people, there's no need to be scared. And if you have to stay single for a while then stay single. You might not be ready for a relationship at all.... you don't seem very stable and level headed right now.
Not my place to say cause everyone will do what they want but you had your chance and you fucked up. Now that you know she's still in it with her boyfriend you should respect that and leave her alone man. Would you like your gf spending time with her ex? I dont think so. And just to throw this out there Ive always said that cheaters are cowards. I hope you learned your lesson and never do it again. A woman will always deserve better if your that type of guy.
this quote applies to you op ^^ "if you go to the park and get robbed, it doesnt mean dont go to the park. it means you got robbed" simple simple. give it a go man, everything in life, or you will regret it when u get older. source of quote you ask?? small record label in toledo called doghouse records had signed the butthole surfers. well the butthole surfers got HUGE, signed with a major label and doghouse got sued by the major label for the rights to the album, and lost. the owner was going to give up on it until he got that quote in a letter from none other than ian mckye (of fugazi and minor threat fame). that guy didnt give up on his label and now is pretty fucking big, and not in toledo anymore lol.
See this is exactly why I stay away from relationships man. I'm with you, this stuff just hurts too much. Feels bad man. At the same time though, everything always works its way out in the end, one way or the other.
Not to me. Some of use are more sensitive than others. I'm inclined to think it's a good thing, though it does mean you'll be hurt a lot more.
I know I fucked up in the past. I was young and didn't know what the fuck I was doing. Trust me, it's a decision I've had to live with. But, aside from my mistakes, what gets me down is that I left my guard down and should've known better than to get caught in the middle. It takes two to tango. I'm not the bad guy in this particular situation. She wanted to see where things could go with us. She told me she lost the spark with him and has missed me ever since she left for school. I told her I wanted her to be happy with the decision she ultimately made. It's a clusterfuck. But, all I am getting out of it is she loves him and regrets everything. I haven't talked to her since their fight and don't really plan on it. Not because I don't want to talk to her, but because I feel like she doesn't want to talk to me.
Thanks, man. You guys are lifting my mood I'm going to check them out. Doghouse has had some good bands. Ever heard of Limbeck?
i drove the best girl out of my life and ruined her as a person. i don't do relationships. I'm a jealous, angry boyfriend i just can't do it. but i can be a good friend
I went on Facebook and saw a picture she posted in my feed. It's a picture of them happy as ever.....and she is wearing the wristband I gave her the other day. That hurt.
Let her go man no offence but its starting to sound pathetic. She probably feels like you contributed to her cheating on her other love so now she's pissed at you. Too much drama brah just jump ship youll be better off in the long run.