This Is Messed Up

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by PublicEnemy20, Jun 1, 2013.

  1. My ex girlfriend broke up with me after four years of dating two weeks ago, and couldn't give me one reason why she was doing it, other than that she didn't want to be in a relationship anymore. Today I found out from someone who is a good friend of hers that she has been seeing this other guy since the day we broke up, and that they had been hanging out during the days right before we broke up. The other day, I get a picture from her, and we haven't talked since the break-up. The picture is of them two. I swear, if the dictionary had a picture for douchebag, this guy would be on it. That killed me, as if the break-up wasn't hard enough, now I gotta think about this. 
     
    Surprisingly, I've been feeling better. For the first week after the break-up, I drowned myself in regret and sorrow, thinking about the horrible boyfriend that I was, and all the things I could have done to save the relationship. Then I realized, since she was in such a rush to start seeing this guy, i couldn't have been the only cause for the break-up. A large reason she broke up with me was probably for this other guy, which still hurts really fucking bad, but I don't have to go around killing myself. I'm not sure if I should delete her on facebook or not. I really want to, but I don't want her to know that I'm mad and jealous of them two, or seem immature. 
     
    I've also been talking to this girl lately, I met her through a friend at a nightclub. We went out last night and danced our asses off, went back to her friend's place, and had the whole room together. Only thing is, she has a boyfriend. The entire time we're in there, I'm trying to stick to conversation and avoid hooking up, I'm even looking for something to watch on tv until we fell asleep. Well, after about an hour of drunk talking and telling jokes, she starts undressing right in front of me, turns the tv and lights off, and climbs into bed, so nonchalant like. I'm trying to play it off like it's no big deal, but my heart was poooouuunnndddiiinnnnggggg, and she starts making out with me. For some reason, I didn't let it go any farther than that. I didn't want her to wake up and feel regret after we'd had sex, and then avoid me because of it. She respected it, and said I wasn't a player like all the other guys that try to use her. 
     
    She has been great in helping me get back on my feet, self-esteem wise. I took a big hit after the break-up, and at that point, you can't even dream of any other girls but your ex. Now, I find myself thinking of her a lot, but it's so fucked up because she has a boyfriend and I feel so bad about it. She said she didn't feel regret at all, and what he doesn't know won't hurt him. Her friends all know now, and word can get out soon and spread to her boyfriend. her friends have the biggest mouths, I'm not even kidding, they'll do it for the thrill of it. 
     
    Sorry if all this was long, but I had to get it out somewhere. I need some advice on what to do next, this girl is fun and all, and is a great hook-up, but I'm not sure if this is all worth it. My girlfriend most likely cheated on me and then broke up with me because she felt guilty, and here I am hooking up with a girl that has a boyfriend. What have I done to myself? We live in San Diego by the way, the night life here is crazy, especially at clubs. She could have danced with anyone at that club, but she danced with me the entire time. Feels good to be wanted again, so soon after a break-up. It's a paradox really, It's helping me, but it's not helping me at the same time. 
     
     

     
  2. Damn, that's one evil woman!
    Personally, I've deleted a couple of chick's that did that kind of stuff to me. 
    It's not like she actually cares about your feelings or whatever, sending you that picture she's trying to make you jealous.
    It might show hints of jealousy, but really, if she's pulling that stuff is she even a real friend? What are you keeping her on your facebook for if you aren't decent friends with her. Just sounds like she gets off on the idea of trying to make Ex's jealous to me.
    Weed out the asshole's out of your life, and continue down the path of being happy,
     
    • Like Like x 2
  3. Your situation sounds like it could make a great romantic comedy movie.
     
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  4. I agree with Exodromos.  Your ex is a bitch.  Take her off facebook and cut her out of your life completely.  As for the girl with a boyfriend?   If she can do it to him, she can do it to you.  You need a time out.  The last thing you need right now is a rebound with complications.   
     
  5. #5 -13 Amp-, Jun 1, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 1, 2013
    well the new girl is Shaq, REBOUND MAN....plus she said you werent a player like "the other guys who try and use her" after she got naked and got in the bed with you, sounds like she uses herself...also shes a slut, shes got a BF, doesn't even feel regret and even told you "what he dont know wont hurt him" thats not a red flag thats a fuckin' bomb goin off

    oh and delete the ex, shes a bitch for sendin you pics of her and her new dude, its not petty to delete her from your life, your doin whats good and right for you, shes over and done with delete her like she never existed
     
    • Like Like x 1
  6.  
    I agree with this as well. Deleting her is the best thing you can do, delete her out of your phone, everything. The last thing you need to do is drunk dial/dunk facebook her. Cutting all ties with her is hard at first, but the less you think about her, the better off you are. Getting with this new chick is just a bad idea all around. Keep her around as a random hookup if you really want, but don't date her. She clearly isn't dating material. 
     
  7.  
     
    Bolding and double posting for truth... lol..
     
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  8. No, no, no! Fuck both them bitches, both sluts! Get them out of your life, FAST!
     
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  9. Fuck man you took a hard one, I respect the way your handling it..


    If my ex would have cheated on me, left me for the guy she cheated on me with,
    Then sent me a fucking picture of him?!?

    Id show up at her house and place her new bfs severed head on her porch..

    Just saying,
     
    • Like Like x 2
  10. Kinda funny how the new chick was like "You don't try to use me like other guys do." It's quite obvious that the only thing she's useful for is a quick nut lol. I have very little respect for people who cheat while they're in relationships.
     
    Pump and dump that hoe, or cut her out your life completely. Either one is fine but do NOT catch feelings for this chick. She's sketchy.
     
  11. Well your ex is a cunt (I rarely use that word). But I'd be careful with this new girl too. Idk if you are thinking of her as gf material or just a hookup but if she's willing to cheat on her current bf she will cheat on you too.
     
  12. I love how she says you're not a player and you don't use her like other guys do, yet she was the one undressing and trying to hook up. that's fucking hilarious to me.
     
  13. Wow what a horrible person.  You should actually count yourself lucky to be rid of someone like that
     
  14. #14 clizoudkicker08, Jun 1, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 1, 2013
    if you want to get back with your ex, ignore the fuck outta her, dont say anything and dont delete her from facebook, make happy post and show her that the break up wasn't shit, and i guarantee she will write you wanting to hang out, what you doing, etc. as far as the other broad have safe sex with her to make time pass, and to keep your head somewhat off you ex. worst come to worst, fuck both of these broads your young, you can score another girl thats a freak in the sheets and classy infront of your people.
     
    my girl left me after 3yrs for another dude, saying some feeling arn't just there no more. ignored her for a week, and had the bitch crawling back, to bad i liked the loneliness 
     
  15. Thanks for the advice everyone, it really helps. I've been so depressed lately, the only reason I went out to that nightclub was because my friends made me. As for the chick with the boyfriend, I've decided to try and avoid her and her entire group, before I get myself into deeper trouble. I wouldn't date her even if she was single, I couldn't be with a girl like her. It just sucks knowing that my ex left me for someone else, after such a long relationship. We haven't talked since the break up, I haven't tried contacting her and she hasn't tried contacting me. And we lived together for 2 years. I just let her go, hoping she'd come back, but she had already moved on. This has all been one horrible experience, I can never get my mind off it.
     
  16. Oh my gosh, this reminds of that song by bell biv devoe..
    It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of toxic ladies right now.. If you feel like maybe this isn't right then maybe it isn't. You seem nice and that you don't want to spread that same bad energy that got you down but are conflicted by lust and that is a hard pony to ride.
     
    I can only say that I would keep an eye on that girl, she seems to be acting really manipulative. I've seen people in my life act this way, and the results really spread to others involved, social circle wise.
     
  17.  
    She hasn't moved on.  She has attached herself to someone else like a leech or tick.  Just keep in mind that she is the damaged one.  You, in the meantime, will be the moving on and learning from the past.  She will just keep repeating the past.  Don't be surprised if she shows up on your doorstep one day looking for a way back in.   By that time you will see her for what she is and the attraction will be gone.
     
    Hang in there. You're just experiencing the darkness before the dawn.  Things will change for the better.  Clean your home from top to bottom of any reminders or keepsakes you two shared together.   Good riddance to bad rubbish.  Better yet, take them out to your back yard and just burn that shit.  Make a symbolic gesture.  
     
  18. It's gentlemen like you that makes us men proud.

    TOTAL RESPECT.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  19. That's fucked. She's a bitch and i agree with all the other posts.
    Its summertime so just get drunk, high and party. Live the single life for a while.
     

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