I don't normally ask anyone for advice when it comes to these sort of things. I don't know.. I just usually know how to handle these things on my own, but this is one particular problem that I have no solution to, so I'll see if you guys have one. I've been in a relationship with this girl for 5 years since I was 17. We had tons of problems at the beginning. That in itself should have been my que to leave, but I was dumb and in love. She has cheated on me with so many different people, that I'm to embarrassed to even post a number.. I continued to take her back, because I loved her and saw past her flaws ( Stupid, I know ). Well, 2 years since the beginning of the relationship, we ended up having a baby. One of the happiest times in my life. I thought that after all that has happened, everything was starting to fall into place. Well, I was wrong.. DEAD FUCKING WRONG. The stress of having children was enough stress itself. Second, I had no trust in her whatsoever, so our daily conversations consisted of arguing and accusing eachother ( Idk why she had no trust in me, but whatever.. ). May of 2010 we broke up. Ever since then, we have gotten back together probably 20 + times for it to last for only a week or 2 each time. I don't know why she keeps leaving me. She says I haven't changed ( me accusing her, blah blah blah ). Even when I'm not accusing her, she's dumping me. Every time we broke up since May, she has slept with probably 5 guys. She does it during our "breaks in between breakups". What do I do? Every time, she'll say she wont ever date me again. Then she calls a week later and "tries" again. The most recent breakup was 2 days ago with the same excuses. I'm at a lost here. Not sure where to turn. Not even sure if I have the courage to reject her next time around...
Did the same thing with my ex wife. Constantly getting back together with her only to have her cheat on me. I love the shit out of her, but it was finally time to let her go. Haven't looked back since. You already know the answer to your question, you are just seeking validation. Kick her to the curb and find another girl who wont curb stomp your heart.
She's batting you around like you are her personal toy. You have to ask your self if its worth it? You have to say no to her or else you will never end the cycle. She has no right to treat you like shit. It's going to be hard to finally say no, but it's how you begin the healing process. It's going to get worse before it gets better but let me tell you how, it feels liberating finally having some control over the situation. I have been there, and I was so happy that I managed to gain the strength in myself to do something for me for once.
I appreciate the comments guys. Next time she calls, I'll tell her no. I guess after 20 or so times, I guess it's pretty obvious how the 21st time is going to go. Might as well save myself the trouble.. Thanks again! If anyone else has any good advice, I'd love to hear it.
I would have added delete and block all contact with her, but that won't be easy as you two have a child together. You just need to work on your backbone and not let her get what she wants. I believe that you can do it, its going to be tough mentally and emotionally. What does not break you, only makes you stronger.
like they all said, time to move on. I'm a girl, and know many crazy as fuck other girls who do the same shit. I think it's about insecurities and lots of other bullshit that you don't need to deal with. Sometimes no matter how much you love someone you just gotta do whats best for yourself and realize you're meant to be with someone who will respect you and make you happy, period.
MOVE THE FUCK ON. It's high time for you to realize this chick is NOT for you. Be a good father to your child, but wake the fuck up. You know exactly what you need to do, you don't need advice, you need to sack up and just do it.
That girl is using you and all those other guys to try and make herself feel good. Fuck her, and make yourself feel good
Ask yourself this question "Would i be happier if tomorrow we broke up for good, no more getting back together", your happiness is key, and think of your childs well-being, an angry home can be devastating to a child.
Man the main thing you fucked up with is the kid.... if shes not steppin up to the plate get her for some child support, or take her ass to court. I almost got my first love pregnant, but luckily I always pulled out except for one time she told me she might be prego. I didn't think much about it at the time, but now that I think about it I would of fucked up my future, and I wouldn't be in college like I am right now.. best of luck man
Ahhh young love... Dude really, I mean you got a kid with her so you have obligations, but don't fret over some girl at such a young age.
My most recent ex and I were like that. On and off, on and off, on and off. It was a bad cycle, and the only way to end it is by having one person taking the bold step and saying goodbye, for good. Honestly dude, I haven't really seen too many girls that have interested me, and have been smoking weed at an all time high amount in my life ever since I broke up with her almost two years ago, but I'm starting to move on, and feel more confident about it all.
I'd say the hardest part of saying no is when they are BEGGING you to take them back when they realize you mean it this time. Same shit happened with me(not as severe.. we dont have a kid or anything..), on and off, on and off. Over and over and over again. But when I finally told myself, "this is bullshit, im not doing this anymore", I pretty much just told her to fuck off. Then like a month later, she was begging and crying, and apologies out the asshole. And when you see her there hurting, and pouring her heart into this apology, you literally think "she means it this time. she HAS to mean it." ...she doesn't mean it.
You need to get the fuck out. Im sure there is someone out there that is willing to stay faithful to you and show the love right back at you.
Dude you need to realize you deserve to be treated better then that!!~ you've given her to many chances and has anything changed?.. nope. Be the man and put your foot down, don't let her play you like that. Good luck. <3