This dumb proto-mall cop at my school

So, I am attending WWU as a Literature major (Junior). Mock it if you want, but I love it, and I went from major to major before choosing this one

Anyway, my college is infamous for being tolerant about everything. While smoking weed on campus is obviously illegal, WWU doesn't seem to exert too much extra pressure on the widespread toking. I usually just limit my smoking to the night hours, after all my ish is done and I am less likely to get caught.

Aaaanyway, long story short, the school hires these patrol-like people who check for pot smoking in the woods. They don't have much authority and can't do crap unless they catch you with a joint in hand. Anyway, sometimes this particular ranger is on the bottom of the hill after night sessions with my friends. He thinks it's intimidating to constantly ask stupid questions instead of actually investigating.

"Y'hear the coyotes up there? They sure are...loud..."

Or asking if we smelled any marijuana smoking, with a clint eastwood mannerism, and then believing our bull about not smoking and just heading back from a friend's house. He thinks he's John Wayne, but he's just a chub muffin. I'm a muffin too but a cool one.