This deserves its own thread

Discussion in 'General' started by CasinoCloudz, Jul 30, 2009.

  1. Im sorry guys but i just spent 2 hours talking to this guy and it was the most epic conversation of all time

    Connecting to server...
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
    You: a wild bisexual appears
    Stranger: the good kind, or the bad kind?
    You: let me rephrase that
    You: a wild girl bisexual appears
    Stranger: just how wild are we talking?
    You: she just had an orgy with 5 girls
    You: without a strap on
    Stranger: so on a scale of 1 to 10.....
    You: 1 being a straight a nerd
    You: and 10 being your wildest dreams because im terrible with descriptive scales
    You: id saya 10
    Stranger: well, in that case, i open my inventory and deploy the ROOFIECOLADA
    You: roofiecolada is super iffective
    You: foe wild bisexual is open for anything
    Stranger: excellent
    Stranger: i take wild bisexual back to MYPLACE
    You: myplace is filled with win
    You: what do with bisexual?
    Stranger: I place her on the bed
    Stranger: and bind her feet, taking care to restrict her movement in such a way that she cannot easily get anywhere fast
    Stranger: I move to the kitchen and retrieve the following items
    Stranger: a 6 gallon bucket of ranch dressing
    Stranger: 2 pounds of iceberg lettuce
    Stranger: several hundred crutons
    Stranger: and 2 giant salad tongs
    Stranger: I bring the materials back to the bedroom
    Stranger: I turn down the bed, and place wild bisexual under the covers
    Stranger: I gently spread the lettuce across her now naked body
    Stranger: with great care, I then take the crutons and place them lovingly and strategically
    Stranger: then, I remove the lid of the ranch dressing
    Stranger: and I wait
    You: wild bisexual is coming too
    Stranger: I immediately pour the contents of the ranch dressing bucket upon wild bisexual
    Stranger: then, I tuck wild bisexual under the covers
    You: wild bisexual is now a tasty and healthy snack
    You: wild biseuxla attempts to use sex appeal
    You: it is innefective
    Stranger: contented by wild bisexual's attempts to use her sex appeal on me, I return to the kitchen
    Stranger: I take a box of ritz crackers and my keys
    Stranger: taking my car, I drive to MYOTHERPLACE

    Stranger: I sit down on my couch, and enjoy a ritz cracker
    Stranger: I follow that ritz cracker with another
    Stranger: It is at this point I realize
    Stranger: I have derived the maximum enjoyment from package of ritz crackers
    You: foe ritz crackers has been destroyed
    You: wild bisexual is starting to get soggy from all the ranch
    Stranger: I return to MYPLACE to check on wild bisexual
    Stranger: I approach the bed
    You: wild biseuxual is unnaware of strangers approach
    Stranger: I slip into bed next to wild bisexual, taking great care to not get any ranch on myself
    You: wild bisexual respects strangers attempts not not have ranch on him
    Stranger: i wait for wild bisexual to make the first move
    You: wild bisexual realizes you have a salad fetish and begins talking dirty salad talk into your ear
    Stranger: I tell wild bisexual she's the one covered in salad, not me
    You: a wild bisexual feels defeated so resorts to plan b
    You: she sttempts a footjob but stranger did a really good job binding
    You: wild bisexual wishes this ranch was low fat
    Stranger: seeing her frustration, I remove her binding
    You: wild bisexual considers running but it is oddly turned on by the nights events

    You: wild bisexual starts begging for your salad fork
    Stranger: I administer my salad fork to wild bisexual
    You: wild bisexual is deeply aroused by the salad forks performance
    You: wild bisexual considers reccomending strangers salad fork the the national salad fork hall of fame
    Stranger: flattered, I explain to wild bisexual that I would prefer things to stay low key
    Stranger: the encounter has been sublime enough so far
    You: wild bisexual explains thats she has been stripping and doing porn to afford college and wonders if stanger would put in a good word for her
    Stranger: i tell wild bisexual I would consider it
    Stranger: but require a favor first
    You: wild bisexual inquires upon the favor
    Stranger: i reach into my inventory and pull half of an amulet
    Stranger: showing the amulet to her, i explain:
    Stranger: "this is half of the amulet of dul
    Stranger: dul'dain"
    Stranger: "if you were to retrieve the missing half of this amulet, I write you a glowing reccomendation"
    You: wild bisexual accepts the challenge
    You: wild bisexual is evolving
    You: wild bisexual is now lindsey lohan
    You: lindsey lohan goes on an epic quest to retrieve the lost half amulet of dul'dain
    You: after 3 years of fighting pedobears and over 9000 muslims
    You: she retrieves the amulet but has lost her vaginas elasticity and will to be bisexual and fuck
    Stranger: delighted about the amulet, but distraught over the lack of her bisexual enthusiasm, I ask why the change of heart?
    You: dear stranger my travles have taught me that while sex is pleasurable
    You: life i short
    You: and must be spent aquiring knowledge
    You: but
    You: since you are too write me a glowing reccomendation
    You: i shall devolve into wild bisexual
    You: lindsey lohan devolves into wild bisexual
    You: wild bisexual is wild
    Stranger: I then proceed to have wild sex with wild bisexual
    Stranger: making no mention of the salad incident 3 years prior
    You: wild bisexual cums wildly

    Stranger: i shrug
    You: wild bisexual is offended by your indifference to her bucket loads of cum
    Stranger: oh well wait
    Stranger: bucketloads, eh?
    Stranger: i retract my shrug
    Stranger: bucketloads is a game changer
    You: wild bisexual is no longer offended
    Stranger: impressed by her sexual prowess, and ability to come buckets, I compliment her on her abilities
    You: wild bisexual responds by squirting a handle of cum
    You: it does over 9000 damage
    Stranger: glad I'm still wearing my clown suit, I bind wild bisexuals hands and feet in the same manner
    You: wild bisexual finds bdsm hot
    Stranger: I proceed to erect a chinese water torture device
    Stranger: I fill the hopper with ranch dressing and begin the drip
    You: wild bisexual attempts to create a pattern of the dripping ranch in her mind but cannot do so and begins to go insane
    You: wild bisexual is devolving!
    You: wild bisexual devolved into horny teenage girl confused about her sexualality
    Stranger: does horny teenage girl have any requests?
    You: horny teenage girl requests that you pleasure her with your salad fork
    You: but dont tell her father because hes really over protective
    You: might mistake you for pedobear
    Stranger: i continue staring at horny teenage girl
    Stranger: all while the ranch drips upon her forehead
    You: horny teenage girl is upset and slef conscious about her weight
    You: she asks how many calories are in the ranch
    Stranger: I continue staring
    You: horny teenage girl is a little unnerved by your blank dead stare
    Stranger: lingering for a few minutes longer, I leave the room
    You: horny teenage girl is confused as to strangers whereabouts
    Stranger: I sit on the couch, and listen
    You: horny teenage girl begins to weep silently thinking how fat this ranch will make her
    Stranger: teenage girl doesn't have to EAT the ranch

    Stranger: it's simply dripping on her forehead
    Stranger: it's her prerogative to consume the ranch
    You: horny teenage girl doesent like being shown the truth and since shes a raging sack of unctrollable hormones she bings to hvea na orgasm and cry at the same time
    Stranger: I leave MYPLACE and drive to the market
    You: horny teenage girl is still convusling in a mind blowing orgasm
    Stranger: i walk to the frozen food isle
    You: massive amounts of cum now soaks for bed
    Stranger: aisle*
    You: your*
    Stranger: unless, i am indeed on an island of frozen food
    You: horny teenage girl finally stops orgasming and dreams of islands of frozen food
    Stranger: i select a box of frozen popsicles
    Stranger: carefully studying the package
    Stranger: satisfied, I place it in my cart
    You: horny teenage girl cant tell between the cum and ranch that now both soak the bed
    Stranger: I return to MYPLACE and being enjoying an orange popsicle while watching horny teenager
    You: horny teenager wants a popsicle really fucknig bad
    Stranger: i select a lime green popsicle
    Stranger: and unwrap if for her
    Stranger: I place it on the nightstand next to her
    You: her hands are bound so she slowly watches the lime green greatness melt on the nightstand
    Stranger: showing no emotion, I wait for it to melt completely
    You: horny teenage girl doesent blink as the sugary green liquid slowly slips down the side of the nightstand
    You: a small slient tear escapes her eye
    Stranger: I retrieve a grape popsicle and place it where on the now bare popsicle stick
    You: Over time the grape popsicle begins to melt as well'
    You: the torture of watching it melt makes the horny teenage girl forget theres a bunch of ranch all over her
    You: the temptations put forth by the melting popsicle turn minutes into years
    You: the purple and green juies mix creating a horrible color combination of tasty refreshment
    You: soon all that is left is another popsicle stick laying undisturbed upon the nightstand
    You: horny teenage girl is emotionally defeated
    You: horny teenage girl devolves into pre teen twilight fan
    Stranger: haha
    Stranger: (whoops, 4th wall and all that)
    Stranger: startled, I give her a cherry popsicle
    You: pre teen twilight fan eats the cherry popsicle with her hands, which were freed since the bindings were never tightened as she grew smaller and smaller
    You: the pleasure it brings knows no bounds
    You: pre teen twilight fan asks if theres anything she can do in return
    Stranger: I nod
    Stranger: and utter "caesar salad"
    You: pre teen twilight fan wonders id this is sexual inuendo or if the winking smiling stranger really wants a caesar salad
    You: remember the salad fetish
    You: she figures its probably sexual
    Stranger: I wait in silent hope

    You: pre teen twilight fan begins to ponder what a caesar salad can mean
    You: the strain on her sexually immature mind is too much
    You: pre teen twilight fan is devolving!
    You: pre teen twilight fan is now young girl afraid of cooties
    Stranger: I say again "caesar salad"
    You: the little girl is totally unaware of her surroundings
    You: she cries when she hears the words caeser salad
    You: little girl is devovling!
    You: little girl is now a developing fetus
    Stranger: feeling somewhat defeated, I place developing fetus in the freezer, next to the posicles
    You: devolping fetus's body temperature falls
    You: but all is good

    You: because shes got some mother fucking popsicles
    Stranger: i find this fact suprisingly comforting
    You: developing fetus finally succumbs to frostbite
    You: "developing fetus faints"
    Stranger: I slowly enjoy another orange popsicle
    You: before developing fetus slips into the silent embrace of death she whidpers
    You: whispers*
    You: epic converstaion
  2. that is fucking hilarious bro. hahahaha. now how long did that take? haha
  3. that was so amazing
  4. :laughing:

    Epic indeed! Worth the read (surprisingly). Good times :cool:
  5. This was like 2 hours worth of conversation maybe. We talked for a littlbe bit after hes from southern cali and has recently tried weed for the first time.
  6. LMFAO!
    what the fuck was that. seriously WHAT THE FUCK!? lol
    that was extremely entertaining, but i am so fucking confused lol.
  7. Haha trust me i was just as confused as you.
  8. Wow that was great. At first I thought it was going to be a regular pedophile convo. Epic indeed.
  9. I do what i can :]
  10. haha that was pure greatness...

    well played sir
  11. This aint funnny unless your square. Couldnt even read 1/4 of it
  12. + rep to you my friend for actually having a entertaining conversation on omegle.
  13. i only read a 1/4 of it...that guy totally jacked off to that shit tho.

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