If this is in the wrong place, please feel free to move it. If you don't like reading about other peoples emotions or problems, then you should probably leave too. So, I've been up all night, pretty much thinking about what I'm going to do with my life. I can pretty much say that I am royally fucked. I go to a Vocational high school right now in a machinist program, so I have my job pretty much set up for me, I wont have a problem getting an apprenticeship some where, I have everything planned out about what I want to do, Move to Vermont, preferably Montpelier or Burlington, live in a loft or a small house, have a dog and such, I could be making 50K 2 years after I'm out of school. Sounds all good right? No, that's the bright side of things. Right now, I'm pretty much on the verge of flunking out of school, I have a very hard time getting along with people, It might just be that the town I live in is full of rich, bratty, stuck up snobs, but there's only about 3 people that I consider friends, only one of which I can really connect with. My social life, or lack thereof blows, my friends are pretty much the loner types that no one wants to converse with, as am I I don't have a girlfriend, Fuck, I wouldn't be able to hold a steady relationship if fucking Dr.Phil held my hand through it, I've never had a girlfriend for more than a month, the only girl I've ever felt a connection to would never have any romantic interest in me. The relationship issue really sets me right the fuck off because I know that if I don't solve these issues in the net fey months that I'm going to end up to be some 40something year old guy who doesn't have a wife, or kids or anything of that sort. My relationship with my Mother is alright, we've had our struggles in the past, especially since she's raised me pretty much by herself, my father left us when I was 3 or 4 years old, he just completely left us and we didn't hear a word from him until 2 years ago when he sent me a letter pretty much saying that I was one gigantic fucking mistake, and that he didn't have the balls to take the responsibility. I feel bad for putting my mom through everything I did when I was younger, especially when I would just break down and start crying about not having a dad. I just feel really shitty about life right now (if you couldn't tell) So, Here I am, With a whole 2 people that I trust, no romantic interest, depressed as fuck, barely any motivation to do fuck all, horrible grades, just plain, Fucked. And for the first knob to say, "go smoke a bowl man, just chill out", Infinite amounts of weed aren't going to do fucking shit for me right now, I'm in a bigger hole than ever before and I'm only going deeper at this rate. I also refuse to take anti-depressants or talk to a shrink, it's just a personal thing I go by and if your going to come in here just to bitch and moan about how I should take some addictive prescription drugs or go see some stranger that's just going to warp and distort my views about my current situation you can fuck right the hell off. And yeah, I realize I'm posting this on the internet to a bunch of strangers, so don't bother saying anything about that either. I just felt like putting this out there.
Everybody goes through the same shit, bro. It's called growing up and life. You just have to handle the cards you're dealt and make the best of it. It's hard as hell to find the light but believe me, no matter how shitty you're feeling, you just have to pull through and hope for the best. Here's what I suggest. Your main focus should be school since in today's society you need school to have a successful career which will lead to a hopefully successful life. Don't get down on the relationship because to be honest, it will be a hell of a lot easier to find a woman once you're settled yourself and have a strong base to add on to. I'm only turning 19 in a few months but stress is stress and it's a bitch to us all. Stay strong man.
i wanted to say what mike said. but he said it better than me. life fucking sucks sometimes. but perseverence pulls us throug every time. just can't give up, that's all. focus on school best you can.
You sound like you are clinically depressed. You are in school so free councelling and psychiatric services should be available. Use them, you won't regret it. And now I'll fuck the hell off'
Don't worry these things have a way of working themselves out as you grow older. I will say that you will be suprised at your success if you invest a little time and energy in achieving a goal. Keep on pluggin brother.
it is admirable that you do not want to see a shrink and are staying away from anti-depressants. i have been in the same boat before, and my lifes been goin shitty lately too. focus on school. remember your goal of moving to vermont. if you have free time on friday nights or the weekends, go be social. get fucked up with some people. just remember that school is what is important right now. also, who needs more than a couple good friends? i have always been that way, and i seem to be doing just fine.
Live one day a time and don't look back, that always works for me. I could talk forever about how shitty my life has been the past four years, but I'm not even depressed. Find something that makes you happy, it sucks that you can't keep a girlfriend because when you meet someone special it can turn your life around. Friends are kind of overrated and fake, you don't need more than a few close friends. It's important to realize that nobody really cares about you, might sound harsh but it's true.
I'm not one to throw drugs in peoples faces but something I would really suggest for you is Adderol or Ridalin They really do help extremely well with school work and I notice they make me less snappy