1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4 . Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 5. Are You Andy or Barney? 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 8. I pay your salary! 9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning too! 10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are ! 12. When the Officer says “Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?†You probably shouldn't respond with,â€Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?â€
True story: While being patted down with hands cuffed behind back and then remembering about the J's in front pocket.... "Hey Dude, what are you trying to put in my pocket!, don't be planting no evidence on me!!!" wasn't me but an old friend from many moons ago.... He got a nightstick to the back of his knees. And he "tripped" getting into the back of the cruiser and "bumped" his forehead.
Also don't yell- Are you gonna clean up the mess you left in my car ! After they search your vehicle. I tried they just threaten to give u a ticket about Yelling at on officer or something. Oh ya never carry a bong in the car w/ you and then try to throw it out the window, My friends aren't real bright as you can see.