There is a God, and he wants me to smoke weed!

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by JonBongJovi, Apr 14, 2006.

  1. Okay, so I went away for the weekend with my family a couple weeks ago. When we got to the room there was a hospitality bag from the hotel. It had magazines about stuff to do in Montreal, hotel amenities, etc. but it also had these two small bottles of maple syrup. And, the first thought that popped into my head when I saw them was, "Wow, those would make amazing bongs," promptly followed by, "Wow, I'm a huge pot head."

    Picture these bottles. About 10 inches high and around 1.5 inches square on the bottom. But wait! They have this wave in them sort of like this:
     _|  |_
     \     \
      \     \
      /     /
     /     /
     \     \
      \     \
      /     /

    I hope that lines up right on everyone's computer. Now, who among us can deny that that bottle would make a fine, fine, small bong. A Roor it ain't but it would still make the sick homemade piece.

    The problem: I didn't know how to scoop the bottle. I didn't really have an opportunity to take it that weekend("Hey, where did that maple syrup go?" "I don't know. Weird, huh?") and I expected to have a similar problem at home with my parents around. My mom has this sixth sense about when stuff is missing. I pretty much gave it up as a lost cause.

    But there is hope! While I was away with my family there wasn't really anyone to take care of the cat so we gave a key to my girlfriend and she came over a couple times to feed her and give her a lap to lay in.

    So just today my mom was saying how she wanted to give my gf a gift and some money for taking care of the cat since she appreciated it so much and was thinking about giving her the maple syrup from that weekend. I just looked at her with my best poker face and said, "Well, she doesn't really need any money but I bet she'd like the maple syrup."

    Hallelujah! There is a God, and he brings me weed in mysterious ways. :smoke:

    edit: That was post #333 for me. Trinity? Anyone? Anyone? [Of course, the God reference is in jest. We don't want to piss off any atheists. :) ]

  2. LMFAO!!! That's classic! Yes, it's a sure sign of being a huge pot head when, within seconds of seeing a MAPLE SYRUP BOTTLE, you want to make a bong out of it! Nice way to fanagle the bottle from your mom, though... :D :hello: :cool:
  3. it seems like you are very paranoid around your parents. you are afraid shes gonna see a little glass tube of maple syrup missing and automatically assume you took it and used it to smoke drugs? hmmm... doesn't sound like a very good relationship you guys have.
  4. Uhh, not to sound stupid, but who in the right fucking mind would want SYRUP for watching a house, damn man. You better hope thats some codine syrup.

  5. If someone showed their gratitude in syrup, I'd open it all over their face. That's just degrading
  6. Wow, those last three replies sucked.

    Motoxridah - It's not that she'd jump to that assumption. I just wouldn't want the issue of something disappearing for no good reason to come up. My family doesn't know I smoke and they don't need to know. I wouldn't want to take anything without any reason, drugs or no drugs. That's all.

    AimedForDeath - It was just a token of appreciation, not a salary. Y'know, when someone does you a favor and you give them a small gift that in no way actually adequately compensates for what they did for you but you do it anyway because nobody really cares about the monetary value and you only want to acknowledge that you appreciated it? That's what it was.

    naughtyneighbour - Same for you. What do you mean degrading? It's just a small gift of gratitude. Do you make a habit of telling people off because you don't like the gifts they brought you?

  7. I agree, but I wasn't about to berate anyone for their lack of understanding... I get too much flack for that kind of shit to make it worthwhile.

    I completely understood the reason you told your mom to give your girlfriend the maple syrup... so that you could get your hands on it and make it into a bong without your mom missing it. I thought that was brilliant! So, did your mom take your suggestion? Did your girlfriend get the bottle? And most importantly, did you get to make the bong?! How is it?! :D
  8. hahaha you guys seem to not realize hes from canada ;) maple syrup is a hot commodity up here.

    hahaha just kidding, but i've got to say, my mom has given fancy bottles of syrup to a few people as gifts before, and she was born and raised in portland oregon!

    a gift is a gift is a gift. does it really matter what it is? whats wrong with a sweet sugary fluid to put on you for food?
  9. Ha! Only a Canadian could understand.

    No, I don't have the bottle yet and I haven't made the bong yet. It'll probably be a while before I can get access to a drill and glass cutting bit but it's on the horizon! I'll post pics when I get it done but it probably won't be for a few weeks.

  10. now this makes things interesting! i (and im guessing many others) was not aware that this bottle was glass! the whole time i was thinking waste of time...but if its glass that rules... and also...have you ever seen those drinks called pom? its pomegranet juice and the bottle has 2 bubbles and a straight section above...perfect bong shape!
  11. For the longest time... i stared at that thinking... "there's a drink called PORN?"

    only now do i realize it's POM, and yes I have had pom before hahaha, if I hadn't I don't think i'd have figured out that there wasn't a drink called PORN. those POM bottles would make a killer homemade.
  12. haha i did the same thing lol
  13. POM makes a wonderfull homemade, i'm using one right now sinces i broke my Sherlock. RIP hobbes, But anyway i call my POM bottle Pam, i say damn Pam you can really toke it up.....yea i talk to a POM bottle.

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