The Vics Rag

Last night I was at this party with a bunch of people I had just met. We were having a good time, drinking Henessey from the bottle, chasing it with some Ecstacy Tea and rolling hard. The dude that was hosting the party decided to take the Techno CDs out and put in gansta rap instead. The beat and the violent lyrics didn't jive well with me, so I decided to take my girlfriend and drive to someone else's pad and chill. So her and I got in the car and started on our way. She was sitting beside me greasing up a clean rag with Vicks inhaler, nice and thick, know what I mean? She took several deep hits, then handed me the rag. I took my fair share and my head just started swimming. Every bump in the road and every flash of headlights made my eyes zone in and out and my stomach skip. I knew I was on the edge man, and the only way to be safe is to obviously go over the edge right? Anyways, I needed the damn rag again man, and quickly. But this ho ass bitch that I called my girlfriend wouldn't pass it, she thought that because she was special or something that she could have my rag. Oh hell no.. I reached over and started tugging on it as hard as I could but the girl was like a wolverine mixed with a pit bull, she just wouldn't let go. So I let go of the wheel for a quick second or three to pinch her titty and make her let go of the rag, which she eventually did. Now that I had the rag, I had to turn my attention back to driving, and thank ganja I did. I swerved just in time, I think, to miss an on coming car by what seemed like inches. I looked in my rear view mirror with my heart pounding to see the guy do a perfect 180 turn and come back after me. Then the red and blue lights started flashing, and I pulled off to the side of the road. The young pig came over to my window, and I could see he was shaking. He said, "What the fuck is wrong with you, are you fucking stupid? God damn it boy, are you drunk? What the fuck happened?" I could see he was in know mood for games and the usual bullshit I lay on the swine, so I told him a thought out, perfectly understanding scenario, "The bitch wouldn't give me my rag. I own this rag, this rag belongs to me, but she wants to hog it all officer. What was I suppose to do, my constitutionally protected right were in jeopardy!!!" I saw the pig shake his head in stunned disbelief and say, "What did you just say?" So I had to explain myself, which really pissed me off. I told him that the constitution guarantees me the right to have a rag if I want it, in fact I wanted to press charges against the bitch. I thought I had won the day, but I spent the night in the local stockade nonetheless. No charges though, thank ganja. But I had to agree to undergo couples counseling. I intend to bring up this Vicks rag story there.

Peace

 

Hahahaha, yeah I was pretty fucked up last night.